Life With Twins

Now We Are 7

Last year I thought I’d write a blog post all about the adventures the girls would have when they turned 6, and I’d title it “Now We Are 6” like the A. A. Milne book. But that didn’t happen. Instead, this year I’ll look back at six full years of raising twins. We have all grown so much in such a short amount of time. So now we are 7. 7 years of enjoying life and the blessings that come with raising twins.

We like to dress up fancy.

We mostly get into mischief together.

We don’t like to sleep alone.

We are best friends.

This weekend my little unexpected dizygotes rounded out their sixth year of life on this earth. And what a fine six years we have had! I look forward to many more adventures with these silly bugs. Happy birthday, babies.

Love, Mommy.

Check out these other posts on raising twins:
When I was Expecting Twins I wondered…
Raising Adventurous Children
A Mom can Always Tell Her Twins Apart
Advice from a Twin Mom (Who’s Been There)

Losing Teeth and Other Signs of Growing Up

I remember, about 6 years ago, the twins started crawling. They had a whole world literally at their fingertips and the entertainment possibilities were endless. For small moments of their day, as they fearlessly roamed our apartment, Mommy was off the hook. I felt all those things that moms feel whenever their kids reach new stages in development: Overwhelming joy at this new tiny bit of increased free time, pride in my brilliant “grown up” kids, fear that they’ll get in over their heads, sadness at the loss of baby-ness… It’s in that place in between elation and sadness where a mother’s love radiates from within her.

This is where I find myself again. I’m amazed that my girls can even eat things like raw carrots because they only have a few resilient baby teeth determinedly clinging to their mouth. On the plus side, flossing their teeth at night has gotten a lot easier!

In the “Losing Teeth” Stage of Childhood

For the longest time, Madeline was the unique twin because SHE had lost her 2 front teeth at the early age of 4. She had knocked them out while attempting to use the linoleum as a dry slip ‘n slide. I’m sure she was thinking that she could ride her soft pillow and perfectly glide along the floor if she just got a big enough running start. With the pillow between Madeline and the linoleum, she had thrown herself down and attempted to sail across the kitchen floor on her belly. Sadly, the linoleum refused to play nice.

Madeline rolls with the punches pretty well. Her empty front gums made it so she could make funny faces that her siblings couldn’t, due to them still having all their teeth. In the end, not having front teeth turned out to be pretty cool.

Since that fateful event, both girls lost several more teeth at a natural progression. Madeline is in the lead and I think she’s up to SEVEN. Emily has nearly caught up to her toothless twin, and now they both have adorably gummy little-kid grins.

This week Emily lost another tooth. We celebrated with a trip to Dollar Tree to spend the $1 bill left by the Tooth Fairy. Be sure and follow our Instagram stories for our adventures in extravagant spending and fast-lane-living.

Independence is in Our Reach!

These 3 ragamuffins have been so busy giggling and tearing my apartment to shreds (thank you, summer vacation) that I almost missed a few more milestones. I am happy to announce that, every day, I have gained precious seconds of free time, thanks to my kids now being able to

-dress themselves, although Johnny’s shirt is usually backwards.

-put on their own shoes. We’re in full flip flop mode because, summer. Still working on learning to tie those pesky laces. I welcome any and all shoe-tying tips.

-open their snack packaging. If Johnny can’t get his string cheese open, his sisters step up. Thank goodness for older siblings!

They can also get toothpaste onto their own toothbrushes with minimal gobs of sticky blue paste on the floor. They scale the kitchen cupboards and help themselves to cups, crackers, and basically everything they ever dreamed of. Learning how to get onto the counter is much like learning to crawl. Mobility level: expert.

What to do with All that “Me Time”?

That’s really what it’s all about, my friends. Let’s be honest. We birth children, we love them dearly, but deep down we’re yearning for some alone time. If you scrape together all those seconds of free time I’ve recently acquired, they add up to one gloriously kid-free trip to the bathroom. From which I will likely emerge only to find that my darling 4- and 6-year-olds have consumed an entire bag of grapes in under 2 minutes and there is a suspiciously toothless bite mark in the butter.

After the baby years, it doesn’t really get easier. It just gets different.

The Twins Aren’t So Identical After All

People always ask us if our twins are identical. To tell the truth, I can’t say for sure that they are. I guess people get their twins tested, so they can legitimately say that their kids are scientifically 100% the same. Well, ours aren’t the same. Madeline has a faint birthmark on the back of her hand, and she’s always been a fraction of an inch taller than Emily.

But when people want to know if they’re identical, we always say yes. It’s a much simpler answer than having to explain that they’ve never been tested, or that there are slight differences between them. I mean, my own parents can’t tell them apart so that’s got to hold some value, right?

They had their eyes dilated, and had to spend the rest of the day in these sunglasses. The twins thought they were pretty awesome!

This week we got some news that should make it easier for friends and family to tell them apart. Because very soon, Emily will start wearing glasses.

It all started when the girls had their eyes checked during a free screening at the preschool. They both didn’t pass the eye exam, but I just figured they were playing during the test and not taking the proctor seriously (they’re very giggly girls when they’re in a silly mood). We had to get a more intense eye exam done, which told us that both girls have astigmatism. Emily’s condition is more pronounced in one eye than the other, so she was prescribed glasses.

They Won’t Look Identical Anymore

It’s dumb, but I’m wrestling with this more than I should be. My two perfectly matching girls won’t match anymore. From now on Emily’s going to stand out as “the one with the glasses”. She’ll be noticeably different from her twin sister for the first time ever. They love each other so much, I just don’t want this to be something that breaks their attachment to one another.
Emily picked out a very cute pair of pink frames, kind of like these, and once they’re ready I’ll be sure to share a pic of her on my Instagram or Facebook.

I’m sure I’m just being overly emotional. I’m sure this is no big deal. Lately I’ve been crying over every stage of development, so I know this is a bigger problem for me than it needs to be. Have you ever been there? Tell me I’m not the only crazy, crying, “Stop growing up so fast” Mama out there.

A Mom Can Always Tell Her Twins Apart

When I was expecting twins I had this irrational, borderline-obsessive fear that I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. I took note of every tip and trick used by parents of multiples: painting toenails different colors, making a mark on their foot, colored teething necklaces… By the time they arrived I was fully prepared to be a clueless mother who couldn’t even tell her own twins apart.
Some links may be affiliate.

Those first few days in the hospital, my husband and I relied 100% on the girls’ medical bracelets. We didn’t know then well enough to recognize which baby was Madeline and which was Emily. But once we were all home from the hospital we realized we didn’t need those bracelets anymore. We knew Emily by the shape of her mouth and by her little round face. We could see Madeline’s unique eye shape. We even noticed the unique sound of their newborn baby cries.

They may look similar, but they are as different as black-and-white.

When You’re Their Mom, You Just Know

People always ask me how I tell them apart. To be honest, when they are standing at a distance and wearing the same clothes, I sometimes don’t know which is which. They usually have different shoes on or a different colored hair clip, so that’s what I tell people I look for. For the most part though, I just know.

They had to be princesses for Halloween. They love pink and purple, so we went with toddler costumes for Aurora and Repunzel.

Madeline is outgoing and has a strong competitive streak but she is the more affectionate of the two. Emily loves stuffed animals and singing songs. They are both so different in so many ways on the inside.

Being able to tell the twins apart was such a big deal to me before they were born. But now? It’s pretty much the easiest thing about being a parent of twins – much easier than keeping track of their toys or whose turn it is to do something. With all children, it is so fun to see them grow into their own little person. It’s possibly more exciting to watch twins’ personalities evolve from two such similar-looking people. When I was expecting twins, I never would have imagined they’d be so unique!

Madeline and Emily are deeply devoted to each other. I can’t imagine the type of bond that forms when you’ve spent nine months in the womb with your sister. But I can see how it’s playing out in the lives of my twins.

A Big Change for the Twins

We are at one of those times of year when our family is smack dab in the midst of schedule chaos. Logan is playing off-season baseball, John just finished midterms, I am up to my eyebrows in report cards, parent conferences, and first trimester (of school, not pregnancy 😉 paperwork. Honestly, I don’t think I could handle anymore schedule complications. But last week we got news that means there will be a big change for the twins.

A little backstory:

Over the summer, I had some extra free time and so I researched a bunch of programs for low income families. While John is in school, my teaching job pretty much support the family, and as you know teachers are notoriously underpaid. Unfortunately, it turns out that we are not low income, just under the average income. Which means we didn’t qualify for any of those free childcare programs. That’s fine with me, because I know that those are out there for families who really really need it and we don’t really really need it.

Well, last week one of the day care centers called and said that they had exhausted their waiting list of low income families and were able to bring in a few families (like ours) that are just above the allowable income ceiling.

We had to gather all of our documents on very short notice: birth certificates, shot records, tax returns, signed verification forms from our employers… The girls had to get a physical and see the dentist. I got behind at work from 3 days of leaving early and arriving late to get everything taken care of. But with a LOT of help from John I managed to get all the paperwork in on time.

The big change for the twins

Last week the twins officially started preschool. They have a classroom, a teacher, and real school schedule. Everything happened so fast, it wasn’t until the day before they were to start that it sunk in for me: My babies are growing up and starting preschool. Yikes!

They adjusted without much of an issue. They even found a girl at the school they know from their Sunday School class. However, Mommy may have shed a tear or two on her way to work that first morning of school.

This new school is not only a big change for the twins, it’s also an adjustment for John and I. Johnny is still going to our home daycare provider, whose hours are a lot more flexible than the preschool’s are. We drop the girls off at preschool, then take Johnny to see Miss Pili. At the end of the day we pick up the girls first and then Johnny. The preschool and the home daycare are on opposite sides of town. I don’t want to complain about the drive though, since it’s not like we live in a very large town. I mean, if you call it “town”, you know it can’t be that big of a place! And this new opportunity will be great for the girls.

I picked them both up one day and Emily’s shirt was heavily dotted with purple paint. I asked what she had painted that day at school and she said cheerily, “I painted a paper… And ME!” Ha.

They’re already busy making new messes and finding new friends.

Twins and their Silly Instagram Outtakes

I love Instagram. I love seeing the creative flatlays that people put together, checking out the great places my friends visit, and eating vicariously through the amazing food pics. Of course, I also love connecting with my followers in the comment section below my posts. It’s like my own cozy hangout in my little corner of social media land. I occasionally post cute pics of my kids on my feed. But for every perfectly cropped and edited image there are a dozen Instagram outtakes that didn’t make the cut.

Our Instagram Outtakes

I was trying to get a cool beach pic before the girls got too covered in sand and salt water. The end result was pretty cute, but it sure took a long time to get there!

Whenever we’re out running errands, and the girls’ hair isn’t too frazzled-looking from their high-energy playing, I try and snap a pic of them together. You know, for memories… Or IG, whatevs 😉

Yes, I’m the crazy mom who thinks she can pose her kids and they’ll just cooperate. Ha!

I just wanted a picture of Emily with her bunny for Pete’s sake.

Sometimes you go ahead and post the pic because at least one of the twins is so darn cute.

I just realized that Madeline is wearing the palm tree shirt here that Emily was wearing in the sunglasses pic. I probably won’t be able to get away with having one wardrobe for 2 girls much longer!

This is me: “Johnny, look at Mommy. Look at Mommy, honey. No hands, baby. Look at Mommy. Say “cheese”! Look at Mommy. Baby. Baby. Look here, baby! Uggghhhhh…”

Apparently it’s pretty unrealistic to expect 3 kids to make a normal “smile” face at the same time.

Especially when you’re dealing with small children, it’s hard to get that perfectly curated pic worthy of being posted on Instagram. My Instagram feed should be proof enough that I don’t pretend to be perfect, and I don’t think anyone should feel like they have to. I enjoyed giggling over the silly faces my kids made in the ‘not-good-enough-for-Instagram pictures as I was going through my phone.

Remember not to take yourself too seriously and enjoy the silly things in life. And find me on Instagram @Simply_Sweet_Days !

I Stopped Being Mom and Found My Own Adventure

It was 8 a.m. as I stood in the dusty parking lot, the hot summer sun already beating down on my sunscreened arms. I scanned the faces of each hiker as she passed, hoping to recognize any of them as members of my local women’s fitness group. Instead of our regular indoor exercise class, we had planned to meet at the trailhead of a 4-mile mountain hike just outside of town.

But no one else showed up.

The clock was ticking and the sun was rising higher in the sky. I figured the hike just wasn’t meant to happen today. I mean, by the time I got to the top I’d be melting in the heat. Plus, there was so much at home that needed to get done. My kids and husband were good sports about me going out for some exercise but I felt a little guilty about taking off on an adventure by myself. Anyway, I’d never hiked that trail before and it was probably too strenuous for someone as out of shape as myself.

Somewhere in the midst of self-doubt and mom-guilt, a tiny voice inside me began making an argument in favor of the adventure.

So I Stopped Being Mom and went on an Adventure

I took a deep breath and charged onward and upward. There was no knowing if the path ahead was going to be steep or rocky (it was both), or if I was going to be strong enough to make it to the top. But I sure as heck wasn’t going to let this turn into a missed opportunity.

I set a slow, steady pace and stuck with it, hoping to not burn out before reaching the summit.

Without anyone else to talk with, I had two hours alone with my own thoughts. As I plodded up that mountain I evaluated my progress in meeting life goals, how I can pursue my passions, and where I see myself in 5 years. These are things that I believe are important aspects of my identity, yet I never really put much thought into them.

What had started out as a fun fitness outing was also quickly turning into a test of perseverance. I was beginning to feel like Super Woman on a mission. If I could just finish this hike, was there anything I couldn’t do? I know it’s only 4 miles. But for a mom who has really been neglecting her workouts, (and did I mention it was HOT?), this was a big deal.

That’s how my Saturday started. If you want to see the hike, it’s in the Snapchat Saturday video below. You can also watch last week’s Snapchat Saturday video here.

Sometimes you have to stop being Mom, or whatever responsibility it is that defines you, and find your own adventure. Life is too short to miss an opportunity for adventure.

What adventure do you see on the horizon?

A Day in the Life of a Twin Mom | Snapchat Saturday

If you haven’t heard, I’m on Snapchat… And I’m kind of obsessed. 🙂 I’ve always wanted to do a day in the life of a twin mom kind of post because I feel like people give me too much credit for what I do. I get a lot of “I don’t know how you do it” kind of comments when I’m out with my brood of little ones. But really, I’m just making it through day by day the same as anyone else.

The only downside to “ a day in the life” kinds of posts is that, even if you crunch it waaaaaayyy down, it’s hard to squeeze your whole day into a single blog post or video.

That’s where Snapchat is pretty handy. Since snaps can only be 10 seconds long, a whole day’s worth only boils down to a 2 or 3 minute video. I like that, and I hope you do too. This Saturday was super mellow because we didn’t have a baseball game, birthday party, or any other responsibilities. It was just us hanging out as a family.

A Day in the Life of a Twin Mom | Snapchat Saturday

Now for a little commentary on this video:
The idea came to me as I was in one room and the kids were in the other. As I listened in on their conversation I just melted at the cuteness going on over there. Like when we were in the fabric store and the girls were going gaga over all the “fluffily” cloth. Or Baby John was singing to himself in his crib at nap time. I really wanted to document those sweet little moments. They’re so fleeting.

I didn’t get a ton of sweet moments in my snaps, unfortunately. And of course every time someone did something absolutely adorable it’s not like you can have them do it again so you can record it. Life isn’t like that. I did, however, get a lot of ‘real life’ in the video. It’s funny because one twin was not having a good day, and she’s usually not such a stinker. But Saturday was not the best representation of my darling Madeline. She refused to go down the stairs or get out of the car and she cried when I gave her ice cream. Of course, today she’s a sweet little thing, totally the opposite from yesterday.

Also, Logan is not represented in this video because he isn’t home until the 5th. He’s been at his dad’s for half the summer, only coming home for a night every now and then. I miss him terribly, and will probably do this again when he can be in the video with us.

When Snapchat first debuted I definitely turned my nose up at it because I figured it was just a way for pervs and party kids to share dirty photos without their parents finding out. But I think, like any online tool, it’s going to be as rated-G as you want it to be. You just have to make sure that you’re following people that you can trust not to post things you don’t want to see. If you’re on Snapchat find me at thesebusydays. Don’t worry, you can trust me. 😉

12 Ways We Financially Prepared for Twins

12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

Twins are an amazing treasure. With how often they draw the attention of people as they pass, it’s impossible not to be constantly reminded of the tremendous blessing that these little oddities of nature are. But when we first found out we were expecting twins, one of our biggest joy-crushers was the fear of how we were going to afford them. As early as the first trimester, I started working to make sure that we were financially prepared for twins. It took a little more effort to save money, but it was totally worth it.

We financially prepared for twins by examining the cost

What’s the expense parents loathe the most? Daycare. For about 5 months we struggled financially as almost an entire paycheck from my husband’s job was signed away to daycare costs. Whether both parents worked or not, we were broke either way. As much as I never thought we could survive as a family of 5 (and growing!), we had to face reality and take the kids out of daycare to stay home with Daddy. The issue of affording childcare was the biggest financial struggle we faced financially, and there was really no way to prepare for it. But with belt tightening, grit, determination, and creative thinking we have been able to make it on my pennies teacher’s salary so John could be home with the kids. You’d be surprised how manageable it is to go down to one income, and the benefits of having your children home with you are tremendous.

We began with the “end” in mind

Since I knew we couldn’t financially prepare for the cost of daycare, I started early with preparing for other expenses, like diapers. Every time we went grocery shopping we’d buy a single package of diapers. Spreading out the expense over time meant that when the girls came we didn’t have to buy diapers for almost 9 months! It’s a good idea to stockpile other non-perishables, like store bought baby food and wipes.

Reusing and recycling

We reached out to our friends and family and asked for any baby- or pregnancy-related items that they were willing to hand down to us. Amazingly, we ended up with TWO cribs, plenty of maternity clothes, and little girl clothes up to age 2! I also kept an eye on the forums in our local Twin Parents club website. It’s how I ended up with the nursing pillow that helped me with breastfeeding twins.

What if breastfeeding doesn’t work out?

If you subscribe to the Huggies, Enfamil, Similac or Honest emails or mailing lists, they often send out coupons for formula and other baby items. I saved these coupons just in case breastfeeding was too hard with twins.

Thrift shop, baby!

For necessities like maternity clothes for twins, which I was only going to need for a few months, I made do with thrift store finds. We ended up getting so many baby clothes from friends and family that we didn’t need to go into the children’s section of the thrift shop. Between secondhand shops and visiting yard sales, I was able to fully stock the nursery (including a $10 glider!). What I hadn’t thought about, even though this wasn’t my first pregnancy, was how I would also need larger-than-usual clothing for AFTER the girls came. I didn’t exactly “bounce back” to my old shape but I was plenty “bouncy” in the midsection for at least a year. 😉

Let’s be real:

I had to be realistic about what I could and couldn’t afford. I wanted new cribs and playpens, but settled for hand-me-downs that were in great shape. We chose generic over name-brand baby products and found them to still be of good quality. When friends and family asked what I needed, I would ask for diapers or for them to buy us the things we wanted but didn’t really need, like cute designer outfits and fancy baby toys.

One is enough

At first we didn’t buy two of each of the more expensive baby items. We bought one, gave the babies a chance to use it and considered if they like it enough to make it worth getting a second one. The girls absolutely hated the baby swing, so thankfully we only had to pack one up to return it. We also were able to last a long time with only one crib because we had our twins sleep in the same crib.

Bank sick days

My job allowed my sick days to roll over to the next year, and those got used up first when I went on maternity leave with the twins. As a teacher, I can’t collect State Disability Insurance, so I planned ahead and signed up for short-term disability insurance through my employer’s benefits provider. This actually helped us out a lot because the insurance granted me 60% of my pre-tax paycheck, and since I had a lot of deductions taken out of my check for health and dental insurance, taxes, union dues and retirement, my maternity leave checks were bigger than what I was used to!

Calling all angels!

Bringing twins into the world is as exhausting as it is rewarding. Two of my mom’s friends were kind enough to come and help around the house about once a week, which totally saved my sanity. It got to where I’d just leave the dishes and pile of clean laundry because I knew they were coming the next day to help with housekeeping. Before the twins arrive, I strongly suggest lining up volunteers to come over and help with housework. Once the babies come you’re too overwhelmed to do it all.

For dinner we’re having…?

A few other thing that can be arranged in advance are a Meal Train and groceries. During the first 2-3 months, the days were such a blur that we were just trying to survive newborn twins on little sleep. Trying to wrap our heads around dinner plans or the contents of the pantry was more than we could handle. Thankfully, our friends and family pitched in to provide us with a delivery of groceries. There is also a website, mealtrain.com, where your friends can sign up for nights to bring over dinner.

Thinking long-term

Twins, or just children in general, are expensive. Their wants and needs just get more and more pricey as they grow older. I can’t even fathom having to pay for two weddings. Thankfully that challenge is still a looooong way off. However, we recently set up a 529 college savings plan for the twins. It’s a great investment because the savings can only be used for college expenses, of which there are plenty!

Join the Amazon Family

Did you know you can join Amazon Family and get discounts on diapers? Plus they offer a variety of coupons and discounts on products for babies and toddlers. We used Amazon Family (formerly Amazon Mom) when the twins were little, and since we’re already Prime members we get our orders in 2 days or less.

When you are expecting twins, it’s a good idea to save money wherever you can. We wanted to have enough in the bank so that we didn’t have to worry about expenses, and could focus on enjoying our new babies. It’s ok to ask your friends and family to pitch in, since bringing home newborn twins is likely to be the biggest challenge you will face as a parent.

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Hello sunny days!?? ?? Being at home is not so bad when your sister is your best friend. ???? ?? I busted out my big camera for some family pics. ? This is a great time to jump back into an old hobby! Have you started or picked up an old hobby during shelter in place? ?? . . . . . . #cameramama #selfcareformoms #thehappynow #momplusjoy #simplychildren #sandiegomom #twinsisters #bestfriendsforlife #twinning #sistersquad #ipreview via @preview.app
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Multiples Illuminated Review

Disclaimer: I received a free .pdf copy of this book but the opinions expressed here are my own. Some links may be affiliate.

A few years ago a childhood friend found out she was pregnant with twins. She didn’t know many people who had twins so we sat down together one afternoon and hashed it all out. We covered topics like what the pregnancy might be like, what help she will need once they arrive, breastfeeding twins, and on and on.

To be honest, each mom’s experience with twins is different from the next. Every family comes with their own set of struggles and triumphs, and there is a lesson to be learned from the challenges they’ve faced. That’s why I think the book Multiples Illuminated is ideal for any mom-of-multiples-to-be. It’s packed with stories written by women who carried twins or triplets.

Multiples Illuminated is encouraging

When my twins were first born, I was so overwhelmed. I desperately needed to hear that I was going to be ok, that things will get easier. The personal stories in this book do just that. I’m amazed at how every type of mother (and father!) of multiples is represented here. From struggling with infertility to what to do on bed rest to finding out you’re having triplets to visiting your babies in the NICU, a piece of me can relate to every voice on these pages. From them I hear the glorious messages of hope, survival, bravery, and love.

From Multiples Illuminated Facebook

Multiples Illuminated gives you the whole scoop

This is not just a book of stories, my friends. The two main authors wisely included practical “what do I need for___” lists. Through the narratives, you get an idea of what it may be like to have one twin born with a learning disability, how to manage getting out of the house with two babies, and much more.

… And a bit of humor!

An excerpt from one of the essays, The Main Attraction by Briton Underwood pretty much sums up every parent of multiples’s experience in public:

“Did you plan them?” You don’t plan twins. How would you do that? Yeah, my wife planned to knock it all out in one pregnancy. We wanted one of them to be a girl, but that would have taken even more planning.
“Do twins run in your family?” Well, you can see they certainly don’t walk. Excuse me while I chase down those two wonders headed towards the candy aisle.

Be sure to find Punk Rock Papa on Facebook. He’s hilarious!

Having twins is like becoming a first time mom all over again, which makes it doubly scary if your twins are your first babies! I can’t stress enough the power in the words on these pages to lift up and warm the hearts of parents of multiples. Order a copy for a gift to a mom of multiples. This makes a perfect baby shower gift, too!

Find out more at www.multiplesilluminated.com.