Twins

Now We Are 7

Last year I thought I’d write a blog post all about the adventures the girls would have when they turned 6, and I’d title it “Now We Are 6” like the A. A. Milne book. But that didn’t happen. Instead, this year I’ll look back at six full years of raising twins. We have all grown so much in such a short amount of time. So now we are 7. 7 years of enjoying life and the blessings that come with raising twins.

We like to dress up fancy.

We mostly get into mischief together.

We don’t like to sleep alone.

We are best friends.

This weekend my little unexpected dizygotes rounded out their sixth year of life on this earth. And what a fine six years we have had! I look forward to many more adventures with these silly bugs. Happy birthday, babies.

Love, Mommy.

Check out these other posts on raising twins:
When I was Expecting Twins I wondered…
Raising Adventurous Children
A Mom can Always Tell Her Twins Apart
Advice from a Twin Mom (Who’s Been There)

Losing Teeth and Other Signs of Growing Up

I remember, about 6 years ago, the twins started crawling. They had a whole world literally at their fingertips and the entertainment possibilities were endless. For small moments of their day, as they fearlessly roamed our apartment, Mommy was off the hook. I felt all those things that moms feel whenever their kids reach new stages in development: Overwhelming joy at this new tiny bit of increased free time, pride in my brilliant “grown up” kids, fear that they’ll get in over their heads, sadness at the loss of baby-ness… It’s in that place in between elation and sadness where a mother’s love radiates from within her.

This is where I find myself again. I’m amazed that my girls can even eat things like raw carrots because they only have a few resilient baby teeth determinedly clinging to their mouth. On the plus side, flossing their teeth at night has gotten a lot easier!

In the “Losing Teeth” Stage of Childhood

For the longest time, Madeline was the unique twin because SHE had lost her 2 front teeth at the early age of 4. She had knocked them out while attempting to use the linoleum as a dry slip ‘n slide. I’m sure she was thinking that she could ride her soft pillow and perfectly glide along the floor if she just got a big enough running start. With the pillow between Madeline and the linoleum, she had thrown herself down and attempted to sail across the kitchen floor on her belly. Sadly, the linoleum refused to play nice.

Madeline rolls with the punches pretty well. Her empty front gums made it so she could make funny faces that her siblings couldn’t, due to them still having all their teeth. In the end, not having front teeth turned out to be pretty cool.

Since that fateful event, both girls lost several more teeth at a natural progression. Madeline is in the lead and I think she’s up to SEVEN. Emily has nearly caught up to her toothless twin, and now they both have adorably gummy little-kid grins.

This week Emily lost another tooth. We celebrated with a trip to Dollar Tree to spend the $1 bill left by the Tooth Fairy. Be sure and follow our Instagram stories for our adventures in extravagant spending and fast-lane-living.

Independence is in Our Reach!

These 3 ragamuffins have been so busy giggling and tearing my apartment to shreds (thank you, summer vacation) that I almost missed a few more milestones. I am happy to announce that, every day, I have gained precious seconds of free time, thanks to my kids now being able to

-dress themselves, although Johnny’s shirt is usually backwards.

-put on their own shoes. We’re in full flip flop mode because, summer. Still working on learning to tie those pesky laces. I welcome any and all shoe-tying tips.

-open their snack packaging. If Johnny can’t get his string cheese open, his sisters step up. Thank goodness for older siblings!

They can also get toothpaste onto their own toothbrushes with minimal gobs of sticky blue paste on the floor. They scale the kitchen cupboards and help themselves to cups, crackers, and basically everything they ever dreamed of. Learning how to get onto the counter is much like learning to crawl. Mobility level: expert.

What to do with All that “Me Time”?

That’s really what it’s all about, my friends. Let’s be honest. We birth children, we love them dearly, but deep down we’re yearning for some alone time. If you scrape together all those seconds of free time I’ve recently acquired, they add up to one gloriously kid-free trip to the bathroom. From which I will likely emerge only to find that my darling 4- and 6-year-olds have consumed an entire bag of grapes in under 2 minutes and there is a suspiciously toothless bite mark in the butter.

After the baby years, it doesn’t really get easier. It just gets different.

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Everything in my early pregnancy seemed to go so well. I didn’t have any complications. The girls were born healthy and we came right home from the hospital. But once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. I bought the right nursery gear, read books on breastfeeding, but had I given any consideration to myself and how I would handle life after birth? Had I researched what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins? Nope.

Today I hope to offer some answers to expecting twin mamas. If there was any advice I needed before the babies were born, any reassurance that what I was going through was normal, this would be it. In case you also are journeying into twin motherhood, this is everything a new mom of twins needs to hear. And because this is such a crazy time for you, I’m also adding advice about what you can tell friends and family. Please do not forget to speak up about what you need. Your loved ones want to be there for you!

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. Here's the advice I wish I was given before the twins were born.

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

Your hormones are going to be crazy after the babies are born. This is normal. I remember sobbing over trivial things like the weather being too warm to dress the girls in their cute outfits. Just know that the emotional roller coaster will soon be over. Tell your friends to keep an eye on you.

Watch out for the “Baby Blues”

Crazy hormones are nothing to worry about. A little crying is normal. But be mindful of symptoms that could be signs of postpartum depression. Some of them are hard to recognize in an already-exhausted new mother of twins, such as fatigue, feeling sad, and trouble sleeping. Some definite red flags are feelings of depression, changes in appetite (not eating/eating too much), feelings of harming yourself or your babies, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and difficulty bonding with your baby. Read these articles from the American Pregnancy Association and MGH Center for Women’s Health if you or a loved one may be experiencing postpartum depression. Tell your friends to make sure you take your mental health seriously.

You’re going to need help

Unfortunately, I know that not everyone in a situation where help is available. When my girls were born we didn’t have family who could come help us. My husband went back to work as soon as we got home from the hospital so I was pretty much by myself with 2 babies and their older brother from the get-go. Trust me, you can manage on your own. But if you can get help, these are some things that a mom of twins could benefit from:

A mother, mother in law, or other family coming to stay and help for a time. Set aside your differences and accept their help!
Hiring a night nanny or postpartum doula. You could even ask friends and family to pitch in to hire one instead of giving baby shower gifts.
A babysitter or mother’s helper who can come help you for an hour or two. If money is tight, see if you can barter. Post in your local neighborhood page and I’m sure some kind-hearted individuals will step up.

You will be sleep deprived for a few months

Babies need some time to settle into life on the outside world. Their days and nights are flipped in those first few weeks. You will survive, and you can even go back to work. I highly recommend getting them on some sort of a schedule. We fed the girls on demand… kind of. When one baby woke up to eat, we woke her sister up and fed her too. Eventually they started getting hungry at the same time and in turn feeling sleepy at the same time. Tell your friends to come over, hold babies, and let you take a nap!

Becoming a mom of twins is a big change, but one that brings with it so much joy and love. You can still live your normal life, it’s just going to have two babies in it. You can get out of the house and you won’t have to take everything but the kitchen sink when you do. These babies are a tremendous blessing and I know you’re going to love being a twin mom.

To read more about my experience as an expecting mom of twins, check out these related posts:

Surviving with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep

Twins in One Crib or Two?

When I First Found Out I was Having Twins

If you’re here because you’re expecting twins or you know someone who is, I’d love to connect with you. Drop a comment down below and say hi. If you need encouragement or a virtual hug, I’m here for you.

~Nikki

Why We Love the Kindle Fire for Kids

We don’t mess around with spending a lot of money on our kids. When we buy them a present, we do our research to make sure we’re getting something that will last, is the best available price, and that they will actually use. Last year for their birthday we got the twins a version of Amazon’s Kindle Fire for kids. It’s just like a regular Kindle Fire tablet, but it’s the kids edition. We’ve spent 9 months using their tablets and have found so many cool little things that I had no idea were even available!

5 Reasons why we Love the Kindle Fire Kids Edition

The practically bulletproof case

Ok, this one we knew about before buying the Kindles because the “kid-proof” case was the #1 selling point for us. My kids drop/break/accidentally maim and harangue everything. Yesterday Johnny put my camera’s SD card in a glass of water! Just plopped it in there like he was doing me a favor. Obviously, we have to be on them, 24/7 or they’d tear the house apart. The Kindle Fire Kids Edition comes with a 2-year worry-free guarantee. 9 months after we got them, and the tablets are still in one piece. I guess they’re stronger than my kids’ appetite for destruction!

The apps

My 4-year-old girls love the apps that come with the Kindle Fire Kids Edition. The PBS kids app lets them watch their favorite PBS shows. There are lots of other apps with all their favorite characters: Disney, Barbie, Dora, Hello Kitty, Bubble Guppies, and Strawberry Shortcake just to name a few. The Toca Boca apps are always in their top 5. One of Emily’s favorites is Pet Doctor, a game where you give bandaids and snacks to pets with “owies”. Check out my video review! Emily loves the apps on her kindle fire kids edition!

The stories that read to your child

Finding out about these made me do a happy dance, because for the longest time I didn’t think the books read to your child. There plenty of books available for free on the Kindle Fire Kids Edition, but it would be nice if the girls could enjoy a story on their own every now and then.

The parental controls

Image via Amazon

We do try and limit screen time with our kids, and thankfully the makers of the Kindle Fire Kids Edition get that. You can set time limits for how long your kids use their tablet and customize the bedtime curfew so they’re not sneaking out of bed at crazy hours to check on their Toca Life: City (like Sim City but way cooler and kid-friendly!). The parent dashboard tells you what your child played and read during their time on the tablet. You can even set “learn first” controls so that your child must do some reading before he/she can start playing games.

The price

We got our tablets with one payment, but I noticed that now you can choose to pay in 5 payments of $26.00. That’s so do-able! The tablets come with one year of FreeTime Unlimited, which gives you access to all the books, apps, and videos. After that it’s as low as $2.99/month for Prime members.

While I’m not a huge fan of having my kids on electronic devices, technology is an inevitable part of the future for their generation. I appreciate that Amazon understands what’s important to kids and parents when it comes to a tablet. Our kids have enjoyed their tablets for almost a year, and I’m so glad to say that they are a purchase I don’t regret.

Do you have a tablet in your home? What do you look for in a tablet/e-reader?

The Twins Aren’t So Identical After All

People always ask us if our twins are identical. To tell the truth, I can’t say for sure that they are. I guess people get their twins tested, so they can legitimately say that their kids are scientifically 100% the same. Well, ours aren’t the same. Madeline has a faint birthmark on the back of her hand, and she’s always been a fraction of an inch taller than Emily.

But when people want to know if they’re identical, we always say yes. It’s a much simpler answer than having to explain that they’ve never been tested, or that there are slight differences between them. I mean, my own parents can’t tell them apart so that’s got to hold some value, right?

They had their eyes dilated, and had to spend the rest of the day in these sunglasses. The twins thought they were pretty awesome!

This week we got some news that should make it easier for friends and family to tell them apart. Because very soon, Emily will start wearing glasses.

It all started when the girls had their eyes checked during a free screening at the preschool. They both didn’t pass the eye exam, but I just figured they were playing during the test and not taking the proctor seriously (they’re very giggly girls when they’re in a silly mood). We had to get a more intense eye exam done, which told us that both girls have astigmatism. Emily’s condition is more pronounced in one eye than the other, so she was prescribed glasses.

They Won’t Look Identical Anymore

It’s dumb, but I’m wrestling with this more than I should be. My two perfectly matching girls won’t match anymore. From now on Emily’s going to stand out as “the one with the glasses”. She’ll be noticeably different from her twin sister for the first time ever. They love each other so much, I just don’t want this to be something that breaks their attachment to one another.
Emily picked out a very cute pair of pink frames, kind of like these, and once they’re ready I’ll be sure to share a pic of her on my Instagram or Facebook.

I’m sure I’m just being overly emotional. I’m sure this is no big deal. Lately I’ve been crying over every stage of development, so I know this is a bigger problem for me than it needs to be. Have you ever been there? Tell me I’m not the only crazy, crying, “Stop growing up so fast” Mama out there.

A Mom Can Always Tell Her Twins Apart

When I was expecting twins I had this irrational, borderline-obsessive fear that I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. I took note of every tip and trick used by parents of multiples: painting toenails different colors, making a mark on their foot, colored teething necklaces… By the time they arrived I was fully prepared to be a clueless mother who couldn’t even tell her own twins apart.
Some links may be affiliate.

Those first few days in the hospital, my husband and I relied 100% on the girls’ medical bracelets. We didn’t know then well enough to recognize which baby was Madeline and which was Emily. But once we were all home from the hospital we realized we didn’t need those bracelets anymore. We knew Emily by the shape of her mouth and by her little round face. We could see Madeline’s unique eye shape. We even noticed the unique sound of their newborn baby cries.

They may look similar, but they are as different as black-and-white.

When You’re Their Mom, You Just Know

People always ask me how I tell them apart. To be honest, when they are standing at a distance and wearing the same clothes, I sometimes don’t know which is which. They usually have different shoes on or a different colored hair clip, so that’s what I tell people I look for. For the most part though, I just know.

They had to be princesses for Halloween. They love pink and purple, so we went with toddler costumes for Aurora and Repunzel.

Madeline is outgoing and has a strong competitive streak but she is the more affectionate of the two. Emily loves stuffed animals and singing songs. They are both so different in so many ways on the inside.

Being able to tell the twins apart was such a big deal to me before they were born. But now? It’s pretty much the easiest thing about being a parent of twins – much easier than keeping track of their toys or whose turn it is to do something. With all children, it is so fun to see them grow into their own little person. It’s possibly more exciting to watch twins’ personalities evolve from two such similar-looking people. When I was expecting twins, I never would have imagined they’d be so unique!

Madeline and Emily are deeply devoted to each other. I can’t imagine the type of bond that forms when you’ve spent nine months in the womb with your sister. But I can see how it’s playing out in the lives of my twins.

When I First Heard I was Having Twins

There’s nothing like that first visit with the OBGYN when the doctor casually announces (as if she’s not about to totally rock your world) that you’re carrying twins. It’s a game-changer. I can still remember how it felt to hear Dr. Basu say, in her singsong Indian accent, “Oh! It looks like there are two in there!”. I had no idea we were even capable of having twins! After picking my jaw up off the floor I had a lot to think about. I’ve written before about when we first found out we were expecting twins, but I didn’t share this little backstory you’ll find in this month’s Real Talk post. This week in the “Real Talk with Real Twin Moms” series, I’m sharing what I was really thinking when I first learned I was having twins.

On the 15th of every month, the Real Talk with Real Twin Moms Series will bring you real answers to questions most moms of twins have. Everything from finding out you are having twins, to delivering twins, the struggles and rewards, and even marriage after twins. We are ready to get real about what it’s like raising twins, and hope it helps you through this adventure! Last month’s question was “When did you find out you were having twins?” and this month we are following that up with “What did you think the first time you heard it was twins?”. Learn a little bit about this month’s moms and their answer to the question at SippyCupMom.com!

Aren’t these mamas lovely? 🙂

So What’s it Like Having Twins?

Myself, along with 11 other twin mamas, are spilling the beans about our experiences. We’ll keep the conversation going throughout the year with many more revealing twin topics. So check those links above and stick around for the rest of what’s in store as we share the ins and outs of twin parenting!

Recently I’ve had 2 friends who were expecting baby #3. One mom has 2 girls, and the other has 2 boys. I kinda wonder what their thoughts were when they found out they were going to have another girl for the one mom and boy for the other. The OBGYN visit when they first check the heartbeat(s) and gender(s) are such an exciting time!

I’ll be perfectly honest, I was reeeeeally hoping for a girl with baby #1 (he’s a boy 😉 ) Did you get what you were hoping for when your OBGYN gave you the good news?

A Big Change for the Twins

We are at one of those times of year when our family is smack dab in the midst of schedule chaos. Logan is playing off-season baseball, John just finished midterms, I am up to my eyebrows in report cards, parent conferences, and first trimester (of school, not pregnancy 😉 paperwork. Honestly, I don’t think I could handle anymore schedule complications. But last week we got news that means there will be a big change for the twins.

A little backstory:

Over the summer, I had some extra free time and so I researched a bunch of programs for low income families. While John is in school, my teaching job pretty much support the family, and as you know teachers are notoriously underpaid. Unfortunately, it turns out that we are not low income, just under the average income. Which means we didn’t qualify for any of those free childcare programs. That’s fine with me, because I know that those are out there for families who really really need it and we don’t really really need it.

Well, last week one of the day care centers called and said that they had exhausted their waiting list of low income families and were able to bring in a few families (like ours) that are just above the allowable income ceiling.

We had to gather all of our documents on very short notice: birth certificates, shot records, tax returns, signed verification forms from our employers… The girls had to get a physical and see the dentist. I got behind at work from 3 days of leaving early and arriving late to get everything taken care of. But with a LOT of help from John I managed to get all the paperwork in on time.

The big change for the twins

Last week the twins officially started preschool. They have a classroom, a teacher, and real school schedule. Everything happened so fast, it wasn’t until the day before they were to start that it sunk in for me: My babies are growing up and starting preschool. Yikes!

They adjusted without much of an issue. They even found a girl at the school they know from their Sunday School class. However, Mommy may have shed a tear or two on her way to work that first morning of school.

This new school is not only a big change for the twins, it’s also an adjustment for John and I. Johnny is still going to our home daycare provider, whose hours are a lot more flexible than the preschool’s are. We drop the girls off at preschool, then take Johnny to see Miss Pili. At the end of the day we pick up the girls first and then Johnny. The preschool and the home daycare are on opposite sides of town. I don’t want to complain about the drive though, since it’s not like we live in a very large town. I mean, if you call it “town”, you know it can’t be that big of a place! And this new opportunity will be great for the girls.

I picked them both up one day and Emily’s shirt was heavily dotted with purple paint. I asked what she had painted that day at school and she said cheerily, “I painted a paper… And ME!” Ha.

They’re already busy making new messes and finding new friends.

My Twin Pregnancy Timeline | 37 Life-Changing Weeks

4 years ago my twins were born, healthy and full-term. Of course, I knew at the time how lucky I was. Since then I’ve met many other women who had difficult twin pregnancy experiences. Now it’s clear that, while not uncommon, my easy pregnancy was a tremendous blessing!

My Twin Pregnancy Timeline

Weeks 1-6

As soon as I had a missed period, I took a home pregnancy test and was elated to discover out that I was pregnant! We went to the doctor, who did an ultrasound and completely blew our minds by showing us two itty bitty babies on the screen. Finding out we were expecting twins was exciting news, but I was confident that a multiple pregnancy wouldn’t have an affect on my lifestyle. My husband and I were training for a half marathon in July even though we were trying for a baby. I had met other women who had run during their pregnancy so I wasn’t worried about it. I set my mind to the idea that I was going to maintain my regular activity level throughout the pregnancy (HA! We’ll see how well that worked out for me).

Weeks 6-12

I was exhausted. Pretty quickly into the first trimester I had major fatigue and nausea. My belly was growing more rapidly than it had with my first baby. I had food aversions to everything except strawberries, jello, and anything lemon-flavored. I continued to hit the gym at least once a week, but I was also prone to napping on the weekends and calling it a night by 6pm! I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret for the first 12 weeks, but by about week 10 it was getting hard to conceal. I remember a lady coworker giving me almost an elevator look one day, as if trying to figure out what looked different about me. What a relief when I could finally come clean to everyone! Although, by that time, I wasn’t fooling anyone. They all could tell I was pregnant. The real fun was in telling them it was with twins!

Weeks 12-27

Can you say “tests”?! I was poked and prodded and had my fluids checked on a regular basis. I was assigned to a doctor who specialized in high-risk pregnancies. Still, I maintained that this was going to be just a regular pregnancy… Except with an enormous belly in front. I was unable to sleep on my stomach sometime in the first trimester, and by now my doctor was also advising against sleeping on my back because my weight could disrupt blood flow to the babies. A good night’s sleep required plenty of pillows and tossing and turning.

I felt weird about being so humongously pregnant at the gym that my weekly visits tapered off to nothing. As the summer neared, my exercise routine was mostly swimming at the beach and walking. I skated through my twin pregnancy without any gestational diabetes and moved on to trimester three with hardly a hiccup!

Weeks 27-37

I was beginning to feel like a blimp. For a while now, people on the streets had been declaring that I was “due any day!”. Having to constantly reply that I still had months to go didn’t help the feeling that this was the world’s longest pregnancy. Some of the major life disruptions were:

Trying to fit in the narrow doorways of public bathrooms.
Not being able to sit upright because of my huge belly. I had to drive slouched down like a chola, eat in a reclined position, and my legs were always untastefully spread apart.
Eating was an exhausting chore. I had trouble taking deep breaths, I was starving but didn’t have very much room for food, and I am one of the 30% of women who get nasal congestion for their entire pregnancy. My nose was stuffy 24/7, which meant I had to hold my breath to chew my food.
I had to use the bathroom once an hour.
Between getting up every hour or so to pee and being only able to sleep on my side, a good night’s sleep was a distant memory.

pretty much how I looked by the end of my twin pregnancy timeline

Image Via The Bump

I had outgrown maternity clothes a long time ago because they just wouldn’t stretch over my big belly. The shirts rode up in front, and the pants that did fit over me were usually not very good at staying on. I lived in dresses, so it’s a good thing it’s always hot in San Diego!

I was still determined to treat this pregnancy like any other moment in life, and planned to work until my due date. HA! My doctor vetoed that plan pretty quickly. She let me work until 35 weeks, and said if the babies hadn’t come by week 38 I would have to be induced. She had my and the babies’ best interest in mind so I took her advice and went on maternity leave at 35 weeks.

They were born at 37 weeks and 3 days, which saved me the trouble of being induced.

I know how fortunate I was to have a safe and easy pregnancy. There were uncomfortable times, but they were temporary. In the end, my husband and I welcomed our two beautiful girls into the world.

I always tell people that carrying them was the easy part. It’s raising twins that is the real challenge!

View this post on Instagram
Hello sunny days!?? ?? Being at home is not so bad when your sister is your best friend. ???? ?? I busted out my big camera for some family pics. ? This is a great time to jump back into an old hobby! Have you started or picked up an old hobby during shelter in place? ?? . . . . . . #cameramama #selfcareformoms #thehappynow #momplusjoy #simplychildren #sandiegomom #twinsisters #bestfriendsforlife #twinning #sistersquad #ipreview via @preview.app
A post shared by Nikki | Simply Sweet Days (@simply_sweet_days) on May 26, 2020 at 12:25pm PDT

Twins and their Silly Instagram Outtakes

I love Instagram. I love seeing the creative flatlays that people put together, checking out the great places my friends visit, and eating vicariously through the amazing food pics. Of course, I also love connecting with my followers in the comment section below my posts. It’s like my own cozy hangout in my little corner of social media land. I occasionally post cute pics of my kids on my feed. But for every perfectly cropped and edited image there are a dozen Instagram outtakes that didn’t make the cut.

Our Instagram Outtakes

I was trying to get a cool beach pic before the girls got too covered in sand and salt water. The end result was pretty cute, but it sure took a long time to get there!

Whenever we’re out running errands, and the girls’ hair isn’t too frazzled-looking from their high-energy playing, I try and snap a pic of them together. You know, for memories… Or IG, whatevs 😉

Yes, I’m the crazy mom who thinks she can pose her kids and they’ll just cooperate. Ha!

I just wanted a picture of Emily with her bunny for Pete’s sake.

Sometimes you go ahead and post the pic because at least one of the twins is so darn cute.

I just realized that Madeline is wearing the palm tree shirt here that Emily was wearing in the sunglasses pic. I probably won’t be able to get away with having one wardrobe for 2 girls much longer!

This is me: “Johnny, look at Mommy. Look at Mommy, honey. No hands, baby. Look at Mommy. Say “cheese”! Look at Mommy. Baby. Baby. Look here, baby! Uggghhhhh…”

Apparently it’s pretty unrealistic to expect 3 kids to make a normal “smile” face at the same time.

Especially when you’re dealing with small children, it’s hard to get that perfectly curated pic worthy of being posted on Instagram. My Instagram feed should be proof enough that I don’t pretend to be perfect, and I don’t think anyone should feel like they have to. I enjoyed giggling over the silly faces my kids made in the ‘not-good-enough-for-Instagram pictures as I was going through my phone.

Remember not to take yourself too seriously and enjoy the silly things in life. And find me on Instagram @Simply_Sweet_Days !