52 Project

Two weeks ago I stood in front of my aunt’s house and asked my mom to take my picture.

All our bags were packed and loaded into the car. Good-byes had been said, hugs had been given, and we were ready to make the return trip to San Diego.

Doesn’t my aunt have the CUTEST front door?

There was just one thing left to do: Stop by the assisted living facility and say goodbye to my grandma. It was the reason we had come to Utah and yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I couldn’t say “goodbye” because I knew that it really would be goodbye. Once we pulled out of the parking lot I would never see her on this earth again.

So instead, wiping my tears with a soggy tissue, I pathetically blubbered, “See you later, Grandma.”

She went to be with the Lord two days later.

This week’s #52project is dedicated to my Grandma, affectionately called “GG” by her grandchildren.

See you later, GG. 

Several years ago (before twins and baby JP), I visited Yosemite with my husband. We were camping at Tuolumne Meadows, about 45 minutes outside of the “main” Yosemite village. Shortly after unpacking, we set out on a walk across the meadow with all the fixings necessary for a romantic camping picnic-a bottle of red wine, crackers, and beef jerky. The thick, yellow-green grass on the meadow stood at 6 or 7 inches high, hiding patches of boggy water and mud. The air was cool, with a faint breeze that kept us from getting too warm. A quiet stream wound sneakily through the tall grass. At the far end of the meadow are some enormous boulders. They look like sloping, grey hills emerging from the plain mountain meadow. After a brief exploration of the flat land, John and I decided to scramble up one of the large granite domes. High up on the Pothole Dome we chose a relatively smooth part of rock to relax on where we could enjoy the gentle breath of wind and look over the wilderness below us.

When I’m troubled in the middle of the night and too anxious to sleep, this is where I try to imagine I am. Instead of filling my thoughts with doubt, I try and mentally put myself back in that spot at that time, with the carefree spirit of adventure that filled me. Visualizing this happy place has always eased my spirits.

Recently I had a new blissful moment.

It started with a trip to one of our local theme parks. After a few hours of nonstop fun and excitement, the girls were so wound up they were practically vibrating. The hope was to get home in time for naps, but the girls didn’t make it that far. They slept a few minutes on the car ride and then refused to take an actual nap once we arrived home.

So there we were, everyone exhausted, and the little ones not cooperating with our ‘everyone needs a nap’ plan.

That’s when I took a chance on luring them to rest with promises of Mommy cuddles.

“Let’s all go lie down in Mommy’s bed!” I suggested, hoping my enthusiasm was enough to convince two 2-year-olds that group naps are fun.
It worked. We all piled into Mommy’s bed, and began settling down for a rest. Once both girls each had their pillows fluffed, teddy bears located, and favorite blankies tucked around their little bodies, they were finally content enough to go to sleep.

I stayed there and just enjoyed being with my two precious girls. All four of my children bring me so much joy. When their smiling faces cross my mind throughout the work day, thoughts of them bring peace to my soul.

I stroked their hair and tucked blond wisps behind their ears, I thought about the fun we had had. They were so peaceful. I could hear their soft, steady breathing. It was such a contrast from the wild energy of just a few hours before.  

This #52Project pic from that day reminds me to slow down, listen to soft breathing, and find my happy place in the comfort of my sweet little ones.

I’m curious-do you have someplace where you visualize yourself when you want to relax? When you think of it, does it put you back in that moment?

The face of an infant.

So fragile.

Dependent upon you for everything.

When this face is sad it breaks my heart.

And when it smiles I find joy like nothing else.

I will always be by your side,

I will try to make everything right,

For as long as you will let me,

I will kiss the sweet cheeks of

This face.

I don’t know if she knew how appropriate her comment was, but Emily cracked me up this week.

We were at Logan’s baseball tryouts. I had just deposited him at the correct field, just barely on time, and was carrying the baby while a terrible-twos Madeline was screaming hysterically because she saw a fly somewhere on the planet and flies terrify her. With the girls both going in different directions, I needed my hands free to hold their hands. It was essential that I get baby wrapped up in the sling (which I hadn’t done because we were in a rush to get to the field on time), and I needed to get back to the car so he could wait in his carseat while I got the wrap on. Wailing Madeline had to be drug to the car (because, flies), and Emily kept trying to run down the dirt hill next to the parking lot or stopping to pick up every.dried.leaf. We finally get to the car and baby is content to await his wrapping, meanwhile Madeline is (still wailing and now shaking with fear of flies) trying to shove her head into the seat cushion. Emily is standing next to the car, ever so patiently looking around at the baseball field full of dads, boys, and baseball activity.

Then, out of nowhere, Emily randomly asks “Soooo… Now what?”

I laughed out loud, internally agreeing because I wasn’t quite sure what to do with a baby,  an adventurous, watch-me-eat-these-berries-I-found-in-the-road toddler and a super unrealistic toddler (just writing that feels silly. What toddler IS realistic?).

Anyway, here’s my #52project pic of the week. It has nothing to do with the story.  

My husband took it Sunday while I was at work. Madeline has a gauze square first-aid-taped to her hand because she’s also afraid of scabs and bandaids. Emily is the happy one. This week.

Happy {almost} February, and don’t forget to laugh in the midst of chaos!

Did you know that cameras are snobs? They are. Because there are some people that cameras just don’t get along well with, and one of those people is Emily.

I’ve been working on this 52project of taking a photo a week and sharing the story that goes with it. Last week I shared a photo of Madeline and how she managed to get some extra attention from Mommy and Daddy by rising at dawn on the weekend. This week I was really focusing on Emily, because, well, twins. What you do for one you must do for the other (Don’t worry, Logan and JP, your day in the spotlight is coming ).

I have recently learned that it is next to impossible to get a good photo of Emily. Toddler behavior aside, 9 times out of 10 the photo is a stinker because Emily is doing something weird in it.

Emily moves too much!

She is just so wiggly! In each shot Emily is either jumping away, running out of the frame, giving a last-minute, “Hold my hand, Mommy!” or randomly slouching out of the frame.  I know she’s a toddler but, geez. I mean, I have another one just like her and she’s not nearly half as much trouble.

I finally got a good one though. 

You can’t tell, but she’s sitting in one of her favorite seats: The bouncer that we used when she was a baby. We got it out of storage to use with baby JP, but he doesn’t really use it and Emily has reclaimed it as her seat.

Emily is so darn sweet.

She loves babies. Well, she loves baby dolls. Our own baby scares her when he cries. She takes his receiving blankets and wraps them swaddle-style around her baby doll and then ever-so-gently picks the doll up and carries her around. The girls each got baby dolls for Christmas (thanks, Mom and Lisa!), so pretty much everywhere you turn there is a baby just waiting to be swaddled. She’s even happier if you can locate a bottle to go with the baby.

Emily loves babies, blankies, and kitty cats (pronounced “key-cat”). Up until recently, all colors were yellow, according to Emily.  Am I a total sap for getting a little teary at the fact that she now knows color names? My baby is growing up so fast!

As far as this weekly photo project goes, next week may be tricky. I’ll be going back to work (wah!) and I’m not sure if I’ll have the time or energy to get any photos. We shall see.

It’s really fun to digitally document your year. I encourage you to do the same, whether by sharing photos on Instagram (#52project maybe? Oh, and follow me on Instagram too!) or by using a photo app on your camera. There is an iPhone app called 1 Second Every Day that creates a movie every month by using one second of your daily videos. Check it out, and keep your eyes open for the good things around you.