When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Everything in my early pregnancy seemed to go so well. I didn’t have any complications. The girls were born healthy and we came right home from the hospital. But once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. I bought the right nursery gear, read books on breastfeeding, but had I given any consideration to myself and how I would handle life after birth? Had I researched what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins? Nope.
Today I hope to offer some answers to expecting twin mamas. If there was any advice I needed before the babies were born, any reassurance that what I was going through was normal, this would be it. In case you also are journeying into twin motherhood, this is everything a new mom of twins needs to hear. And because this is such a crazy time for you, I’m also adding advice about what you can tell friends and family. Please do not forget to speak up about what you need. Your loved ones want to be there for you!
What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins
Your hormones are going to be crazy after the babies are born. This is normal. I remember sobbing over trivial things like the weather being too warm to dress the girls in their cute outfits. Just know that the emotional roller coaster will soon be over. Tell your friends to keep an eye on you.
Watch out for the “Baby Blues”
Crazy hormones are nothing to worry about. A little crying is normal. But be mindful of symptoms that could be signs of postpartum depression. Some of them are hard to recognize in an already-exhausted new mother of twins, such as fatigue, feeling sad, and trouble sleeping. Some definite red flags are feelings of depression, changes in appetite (not eating/eating too much), feelings of harming yourself or your babies, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and difficulty bonding with your baby. Read these articles from the American Pregnancy Association and MGH Center for Women’s Health if you or a loved one may be experiencing postpartum depression. Tell your friends to make sure you take your mental health seriously.
You’re going to need help
Unfortunately, I know that not everyone in a situation where help is available. When my girls were born we didn’t have family who could come help us. My husband went back to work as soon as we got home from the hospital so I was pretty much by myself with 2 babies and their older brother from the get-go. Trust me, you can manage on your own. But if you can get help, these are some things that a mom of twins could benefit from:
- A mother, mother in law, or other family coming to stay and help for a time. Set aside your differences and accept their help!
- Hiring a night nanny or postpartum doula. You could even ask friends and family to pitch in to hire one instead of giving baby shower gifts.
- A babysitter or mother’s helper who can come help you for an hour or two. If money is tight, see if you can barter. Post in your local neighborhood page and I’m sure some kind-hearted individuals will step up.
You will be sleep deprived for a few months
Babies need some time to settle into life on the outside world. Their days and nights are flipped in those first few weeks. You will survive, and you can even go back to work. I highly recommend getting them on some sort of a schedule. We fed the girls on demand… kind of. When one baby woke up to eat, we woke her sister up and fed her too. Eventually they started getting hungry at the same time and in turn feeling sleepy at the same time. Tell your friends to come over, hold babies, and let you take a nap!
Becoming a mom of twins is a big change, but one that brings with it so much joy and love. You can still live your normal life, it’s just going to have two babies in it. You can get out of the house and you won’t have to take everything but the kitchen sink when you do. These babies are a tremendous blessing and I know you’re going to love being a twin mom.
To read more about my experience as an expecting mom of twins, check out these related posts:
Surviving with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep
When I First Found Out I was Having Twins
If you’re here because you’re expecting twins or you know someone who is, I’d love to connect with you. Drop a comment down below and say hi. If you need encouragement or a virtual hug, I’m here for you.