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Twin Pregnancy

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Everything in my early pregnancy seemed to go so well. I didn’t have any complications. The girls were born healthy and we came right home from the hospital. But once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. I bought the right nursery gear, read books on breastfeeding, but had I given any consideration to myself and how I would handle life after birth? Had I researched what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins? Nope.

Today I hope to offer some answers to expecting twin mamas. If there was any advice I needed before the babies were born, any reassurance that what I was going through was normal, this would be it. In case you also are journeying into twin motherhood, this is everything a new mom of twins needs to hear. And because this is such a crazy time for you, I’m also adding advice about what you can tell friends and family. Please do not forget to speak up about what you need. Your loved ones want to be there for you!

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. Here's the advice I wish I was given before the twins were born.

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

Your hormones are going to be crazy after the babies are born. This is normal. I remember sobbing over trivial things like the weather being too warm to dress the girls in their cute outfits. Just know that the emotional roller coaster will soon be over. Tell your friends to keep an eye on you.

Watch out for the “Baby Blues”

Crazy hormones are nothing to worry about. A little crying is normal. But be mindful of symptoms that could be signs of postpartum depression. Some of them are hard to recognize in an already-exhausted new mother of twins, such as fatigue, feeling sad, and trouble sleeping. Some definite red flags are feelings of depression, changes in appetite (not eating/eating too much), feelings of harming yourself or your babies, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and difficulty bonding with your baby. Read these articles from the American Pregnancy Association and MGH Center for Women’s Health if you or a loved one may be experiencing postpartum depression. Tell your friends to make sure you take your mental health seriously.

You’re going to need help

Unfortunately, I know that not everyone in a situation where help is available. When my girls were born we didn’t have family who could come help us. My husband went back to work as soon as we got home from the hospital so I was pretty much by myself with 2 babies and their older brother from the get-go. Trust me, you can manage on your own. But if you can get help, these are some things that a mom of twins could benefit from:

  • A mother, mother in law, or other family coming to stay and help for a time. Set aside your differences and accept their help!
  • Hiring a night nanny or postpartum doula. You could even ask friends and family to pitch in to hire one instead of giving baby shower gifts.
  • A babysitter or mother’s helper who can come help you for an hour or two. If money is tight, see if you can barter. Post in your local neighborhood page and I’m sure some kind-hearted individuals will step up.
twin babies hiding under a blanket

You will be sleep deprived for a few months

Babies need some time to settle into life on the outside world. Their days and nights are flipped in those first few weeks. You will survive, and you can even go back to work. I highly recommend getting them on some sort of a schedule. We fed the girls on demand… kind of. When one baby woke up to eat, we woke her sister up and fed her too. Eventually they started getting hungry at the same time and in turn feeling sleepy at the same time. Tell your friends to come over, hold babies, and let you take a nap!

Becoming a mom of twins is a big change, but one that brings with it so much joy and love. You can still live your normal life, it’s just going to have two babies in it. You can get out of the house and you won’t have to take everything but the kitchen sink when you do. These babies are a tremendous blessing and I know you’re going to love being a twin mom.

To read more about my experience as an expecting mom of twins, check out these related posts:

Surviving with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep

Twins in One Crib or Two?

When I First Found Out I was Having Twins

If you’re here because you’re expecting twins or you know someone who is, I’d love to connect with you. Drop a comment down below and say hi. If you need encouragement or a virtual hug, I’m here for you.

~Nikki

When I First Heard I was Having Twins

There’s nothing like that first visit with the OBGYN when the doctor casually announces (as if she’s not about to totally rock your world) that you’re carrying twins. It’s a game-changer. I can still remember how it felt to hear Dr. Basu say, in her singsong Indian accent, “Oh! It looks like there are two in there!”. I had no idea we were even capable of having twins! After picking my jaw up off the floor I had a lot to think about. I’ve written before about when we first found out we were expecting twins, but I didn’t share this little backstory you’ll find in this month’s Real Talk post. This week in the “Real Talk with Real Twin Moms” series, I’m sharing what I was really thinking when I first learned I was having twins.

On the 15th of every month, the Real Talk with Real Twin Moms Series will bring you real answers to questions most moms of twins have. Everything from finding out you are having twins, to delivering twins, the struggles and rewards, and even marriage after twins. We are ready to get real about what it’s like raising twins, and hope it helps you through this adventure! Last month’s question was “When did you find out you were having twins?” and this month we are following that up with “What did you think the first time you heard it was twins?”. Learn a little bit about this month’s moms and their answer to the question at SippyCupMom.com!

Aren’t these mamas lovely? 🙂

this month's real talk with twin moms series is on "What did you think when you found out you were having twins?"

So What’s it Like Having Twins?

Myself, along with 11 other twin mamas, are spilling the beans about our experiences. We’ll keep the conversation going throughout the year with many more revealing twin topics. So check those links above and stick around for the rest of what’s in store as we share the ins and outs of twin parenting!  having twins is one crazy adventure after another

Recently I’ve had 2 friends who were expecting baby #3. One mom has 2 girls, and the other has 2 boys. I kinda wonder what their thoughts were when they found out they were going to have another girl for the one mom and boy for the other. The OBGYN visit when they first check the heartbeat(s) and gender(s) are such an exciting time!

I’ll be perfectly honest, I was reeeeeally hoping for a girl with baby #1 (he’s a boy 😉 ) Did you get what you were hoping for when your OBGYN gave you the good news?

My Twin Pregnancy Timeline | 37 Life-Changing Weeks

4 years ago my twins were born, healthy and full-term. Of course, I knew at the time how lucky I was. Since then I’ve met many other women who had difficult twin pregnancy experiences. Now it’s clear that, while not uncommon, my easy pregnancy was a tremendous blessing!

My Twin Pregnancy Timeline

Weeks 1-6

As soon as I had a missed period, I took a home pregnancy test and was elated to discover out that I was pregnant! We went to the doctor, who did an ultrasound and completely blew our minds by showing us two itty bitty babies on the screen. Finding out we were expecting twins was exciting news, but I was confident that a multiple pregnancy wouldn’t have an affect on my lifestyle. My husband and I were training for a half marathon in July even though we were trying for a baby. I had met other women who had run during their pregnancy so I wasn’t worried about it. I set my mind to the idea that I was going to maintain my regular activity level throughout the pregnancy (HA! We’ll see how well that worked out for me).    
barely-pregnant-with-twins

Weeks 6-12

I was exhausted. Pretty quickly into the first trimester I had major fatigue and nausea. My belly was growing more rapidly than it had with my first baby. I had food aversions to everything except strawberries, jello, and anything lemon-flavored. I continued to hit the gym at least once a week, but I was also prone to napping on the weekends and calling it a night by 6pm! I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret for the first 12 weeks, but by about week 10 it was getting hard to conceal. I remember a lady coworker giving me almost an elevator look one day, as if trying to figure out what looked different about me. What a relief when I could finally come clean to everyone! Although, by that time, I wasn’t fooling anyone. They all could tell I was pregnant. The real fun was in telling them it was with twins!

twin-pregnancy-timeline-fitness

Weeks 12-27

Can you say “tests”?! I was poked and prodded and had my fluids checked on a regular basis. I was assigned to a doctor who specialized in high-risk pregnancies. Still, I maintained that this was going to be just a regular pregnancy… Except with an enormous belly in front. I was unable to sleep on my stomach sometime in the first trimester, and by now my doctor was also advising against sleeping on my back because my weight could disrupt blood flow to the babies. A good night’s sleep required plenty of pillows and tossing and turning.

I felt weird about being so humongously pregnant at the gym that my weekly visits tapered off to nothing. As the summer neared, my exercise routine was mostly swimming at the beach and walking. I skated through my twin pregnancy without any gestational diabetes and moved on to trimester three with hardly a hiccup!     big-belly-towards-the-end-of-my-twin-pregnancy-timeline

Weeks 27-37

I was beginning to feel like a blimp. For a while now, people on the streets had been declaring that I was “due any day!”. Having to constantly reply that I still had months to go didn’t help the feeling that this was the world’s longest pregnancy. Some of the major life disruptions were:

  • Trying to fit in the narrow doorways of public bathrooms.
  • Not being able to sit upright because of my huge belly. I had to drive slouched down like a chola, eat in a reclined position, and my legs were always untastefully spread apart.
  • Eating was an exhausting chore. I had trouble taking deep breaths, I was starving but didn’t have very much room for food, and I am one of the 30% of women who get nasal congestion for their entire pregnancy. My nose was stuffy 24/7, which meant I had to hold my breath to chew my food.
  • I had to use the bathroom once an hour.
  • Between getting up every hour or so to pee and being only able to sleep on my side, a good night’s sleep was a distant memory.
pretty much how I looked by the end of my twin pregnancy timeline

Image Via The Bump

I had outgrown maternity clothes a long time ago because they just wouldn’t stretch over my big belly. The shirts rode up in front, and the pants that did fit over me were usually not very good at staying on. I lived in dresses, so it’s a good thing it’s always hot in San Diego!    twin-baby-shower

I was still determined to treat this pregnancy like any other moment in life, and planned to work until my due date. HA! My doctor vetoed that plan pretty quickly. She let me work until 35 weeks, and said if the babies hadn’t come by week 38 I would have to be induced. She had my and the babies’ best interest in mind so I took her advice and went on maternity leave at 35 weeks.

They were born at 37 weeks and 3 days, which saved me the trouble of being induced.

I know how fortunate I was to have a safe and easy pregnancy. There were uncomfortable times, but they were temporary. In the end, my husband and I welcomed our two beautiful girls into the world.

I always tell people that carrying them was the easy part. It’s raising twins that is the real challenge!

   big-belly-towards-the-end-of-my-twin-pregnancy-37-week-timeline big-belly-towards-the-end-of-my-twin-pregnancy-trimester-timeline
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Hello sunny days!?? ?? Being at home is not so bad when your sister is your best friend. ???? ?? I busted out my big camera for some family pics. ? This is a great time to jump back into an old hobby! Have you started or picked up an old hobby during shelter in place? ?? . . . . . . #cameramama #selfcareformoms #thehappynow #momplusjoy #simplychildren #sandiegomom #twinsisters #bestfriendsforlife #twinning #sistersquad #ipreview via @preview.app

A post shared by Nikki | Simply Sweet Days (@simply_sweet_days) on May 26, 2020 at 12:25pm PDT

12 Ways We Financially Prepared for Twins

12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

Twins are an amazing treasure. With how often they draw the attention of people as they pass, it’s impossible not to be constantly reminded of the tremendous blessing that these little oddities of nature are. But when we first found out we were expecting twins, one of our biggest joy-crushers was the fear of how we were going to afford them. As early as the first trimester, I started working to make sure that we were financially prepared for twins. It took a little more effort to save money, but it was totally worth it.   

We financially prepared for twins by examining the cost

What’s the expense parents loathe the most? Daycare. For about 5 months we struggled financially as almost an entire paycheck from my husband’s job was signed away to daycare costs. Whether both parents worked or not, we were broke either way. As much as I never thought we could survive as a family of 5 (and growing!), we had to face reality and take the kids out of daycare to stay home with Daddy. The issue of affording childcare was the biggest financial struggle we faced financially, and there was really no way to prepare for it. But with belt tightening, grit, determination, and creative thinking we have been able to make it on my pennies teacher’s salary so John could be home with the kids. You’d be surprised how manageable it is to go down to one income, and the benefits of having your children home with you are tremendous.

We began with the “end” in mind

Since I knew we couldn’t financially prepare for the cost of daycare, I started early with preparing for other expenses, like diapers. Every time we went grocery shopping we’d buy a single package of diapers. Spreading out the expense over time meant that when the girls came we didn’t have to buy diapers for almost 9 months! It’s a good idea to stockpile other non-perishables, like store bought baby food and wipes.

Reusing and recycling

12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

We reached out to our friends and family and asked for any baby- or pregnancy-related items that they were willing to hand down to us. Amazingly, we ended up with TWO cribs, plenty of maternity clothes, and little girl clothes up to age 2! I also kept an eye on the forums in our local Twin Parents club website. It’s how I ended up with the nursing pillow that helped me with breastfeeding twins.        

What if breastfeeding doesn’t work out?

If you subscribe to the Huggies, Enfamil, Similac or Honest emails or mailing lists, they often send out coupons for formula and other baby items. I saved these coupons just in case breastfeeding was too hard with twins.

Thrift shop, baby!

For necessities like maternity clothes for twins, which I was only going to need for a few months, I made do with thrift store finds. We ended up getting so many baby clothes from friends and family that we didn’t need to go into the children’s section of the thrift shop. Between secondhand shops and visiting yard sales, I was able to fully stock the nursery (including a $10 glider!). What I hadn’t thought about, even though this wasn’t my first pregnancy, was how I would also need larger-than-usual clothing for AFTER the girls came. I didn’t exactly “bounce back” to my old shape but I was plenty “bouncy” in the midsection for at least a year. 😉

Let’s be real:

I had to be realistic about what I could and couldn’t afford. I wanted new cribs and playpens, but settled for hand-me-downs that were in great shape. We chose generic over name-brand baby products and found them to still be of good quality. When friends and family asked what I needed, I would ask for diapers or for them to buy us the things we wanted but didn’t really need, like cute designer outfits and fancy baby toys.

One is enough

At first we didn’t buy two of each of the more expensive baby items. We bought one, gave the babies a chance to use it and considered if they like it enough to make it worth getting a second one. The girls absolutely hated the baby swing, so thankfully we only had to pack one up to return it. We also were able to last a long time with only one crib because we had our twins sleep in the same crib.

Bank sick days

My job allowed my sick days to roll over to the next year, and those got used up first when I went on maternity leave with the twins. As a teacher, I can’t collect State Disability Insurance, so I planned ahead and signed up for short-term disability insurance through my employer’s benefits provider. This actually helped us out a lot because the insurance granted me 60% of my pre-tax paycheck, and since I had a lot of deductions taken out of my check for health and dental insurance, taxes, union dues and retirement, my maternity leave checks were bigger than what I was used to!

Calling all angels!

Bringing twins into the world is as exhausting as it is rewarding. Two of my mom’s friends were kind enough to come and help around the house about once a week, which totally saved my sanity. It got to where I’d just leave the dishes and pile of clean laundry because I knew they were coming the next day to help with housekeeping. Before the twins arrive, I strongly suggest lining up volunteers to come over and help with housework. Once the babies come you’re too overwhelmed to do it all.

For dinner we’re having…?

A few other thing that can be arranged in advance are a Meal Train and groceries. During the first 2-3 months, the days were such a blur that we were just trying to survive  newborn twins on little sleep. Trying to wrap our heads around dinner plans or the contents of the pantry was more than we could handle. Thankfully, our friends and family pitched in to provide us with a delivery of groceries. There is also a website, mealtrain.com, where your friends can sign up for nights to bring over dinner.

Thinking long-term

Twins, or just children in general, are expensive. Their wants and needs just get more and more pricey as they grow older. I can’t even fathom having to pay for two weddings. Thankfully that challenge is still a looooong way off. However, we recently set up a 529 college savings plan for the twins. It’s a great investment because the savings can only be used for college expenses, of which there are plenty!

Join the Amazon Family

Did you know you can join Amazon Family and get discounts on diapers? Plus they offer a variety of coupons and discounts on products for babies and toddlers. We used Amazon Family (formerly Amazon Mom) when the twins were little, and since we’re already Prime members we get our orders in 2 days or less.

When you are expecting twins, it’s a good idea to save money wherever you can. We wanted to have enough in the bank so that we didn’t have to worry about expenses, and could focus on enjoying our new babies. It’s ok to ask your friends and family to pitch in, since bringing home newborn twins is likely to be the biggest challenge you will face as a parent.

View this post on Instagram

Hello sunny days!?? ?? Being at home is not so bad when your sister is your best friend. ???? ?? I busted out my big camera for some family pics. ? This is a great time to jump back into an old hobby! Have you started or picked up an old hobby during shelter in place? ?? . . . . . . #cameramama #selfcareformoms #thehappynow #momplusjoy #simplychildren #sandiegomom #twinsisters #bestfriendsforlife #twinning #sistersquad #ipreview via @preview.app

A post shared by Nikki | Simply Sweet Days (@simply_sweet_days) on May 26, 2020 at 12:25pm PDT

12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

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Multiples Illuminated Review

Disclaimer: I received a free .pdf copy of this book but the opinions expressed here are my own. Some links may be affiliate.

A few years ago a childhood friend found out she was pregnant with twins. She didn’t know many people who had twins so we sat down together one afternoon and hashed it all out. We covered topics like what the pregnancy might be like, what help she will need once they arrive, breastfeeding twins, and on and on.

being a mother of twins

To be honest, each mom’s experience with twins is different from the next. Every family comes with their own set of struggles and triumphs, and there is a lesson to be learned from the challenges they’ve faced. That’s why I think the book Multiples Illuminated is ideal for any mom-of-multiples-to-be. It’s packed with stories written by women who carried twins or triplets.

Multiples Illuminated is encouraging

When my twins were first born, I was so overwhelmed. I desperately needed to hear that I was going to be ok, that things will get easier. The personal stories in this book do just that. I’m amazed at how every type of mother (and father!) of multiples is represented here. From struggling with infertility to what to do on bed rest to finding out you’re having triplets to visiting your babies in the NICU, a piece of me can relate to every voice on these pages. From them I hear the glorious messages of hope, survival, bravery, and love.   

multiples illuminated facebook

From Multiples Illuminated Facebook

Multiples Illuminated gives you the whole scoop

This is not just a book of stories, my friends. The two main authors wisely included practical “what do I need for___” lists. Through the narratives, you get an idea of what it may be like to have one twin born with a learning disability, how to manage getting out of the house with two babies, and much more.

… And a bit of humor!

An excerpt from one of the essays, The Main Attraction by Briton Underwood pretty much sums up every parent of multiples’s experience in public:

“Did you plan them?” You don’t plan twins. How would you do that? Yeah, my wife planned to knock it all out in one pregnancy. We wanted one of them to be a girl, but that would have taken even more planning.

“Do twins run in your family?” Well, you can see they certainly don’t walk. Excuse me while I chase down those two wonders headed towards the candy aisle.

Be sure to find Punk Rock Papa on Facebook. He’s hilarious!

Having twins is like becoming a first time mom all over again, which makes it doubly scary if your twins are your first babies! I can’t stress enough the power in the words on these pages to lift up and warm the hearts of parents of multiples. Order a copy for a gift to a mom of multiples. This makes a perfect baby shower gift, too!  

multiples illuminated cover

Find out more at www.multiplesilluminated.com.

Maternity Clothes for a Twin Pregnancy

Getting ready for the arrival of twin babies is an incredibly exciting and joyful time. Maternity clothes are going to play a big role in your twin pregnancy. But shopping for them can pose a dilemma because you don’t want to be wasteful. You don’t want to buy a bunch of outfits in advance only to find out they aren’t going to fit later on. Even if you come across a great sale, there are a few reasons why it’s best not to buy a lot of maternity clothes right away. Moms of multiples do have some maternity clothes recommendations, which I’ll share below as well.

Young pregnant woman relaxing in park outdoors, healthy twin pregnancy

Reason number 1: No two pregnancies are the same.

You don’t know how your body is going to develop or how fast it is going to grow during a twin pregnancy. Just because you may have gained a lot of weight with your first pregnancy does not mean that you will gain as much with this one. It may seem like a good idea to buy a size up because it should fit, but you may be surprised at how fast you will grow. It is best not to buy the next size until you are close to needing it and know it will fit.

Reason number 2: Every woman develops at her own rate.

You simply can’t predict what your pregnancy is going to be like based on the experiences of someone else. There is no ‘normal’ when it comes to pregnancy. My twin pregnancy story was different from that of other women I know. Some women have to be put on bed rest early on while others maintain a busy lifestyle right up until their babies are born. Doctors and scientists can come up with some good mathematical averages, but each woman will still experience a growth rate different from the next. 

clothes-166848_640

Reason number 3: Your comfort level is very likely to change the farther along you are in your twin pregnancy.

What feels comfortable in the beginning may not be comfortable by the end of your pregnancy. If your babies are growing straight out in front, the pants that you thought would last you for three trimesters might be causing you to itch like crazy as the skin on your belly stretches. Or you may find that as your belly grows, your dresses will start to pull up pretty high in the front. Dresses that began at a nice knee length will be showing off your thighs and more the closer you get to the end of your pregnancy. If you plan to buy in advance, maxi dresses are probably the safest bet.

I’ve spoken with my fellow twin moms about their maternity clothing and noticed similarities in what other moms experienced. For one, carrying twins makes your belly grow – BIG! It’s ok if the only thing that fits you in the maternity section are the plus size outfits, even if you weren’t a plus size before. Another complication that twin moms experience is, because your belly is so big, the average maternity shirt won’t fully cover you in front.  And pants can be very uncomfortable. Towards the end of your pregnancy, you may want to get creative about wearing dresses. If you’re pregnant during the winter, use layers to keep warm. Personally, I couldn’t see spending piles of money on clothes that wouldn’t fit in a few months, so I shopped at thrift stores for maxi dresses and long cotton dresses. These were great because I ended up wearing them long after the babies were born too!

Maternity clothes shopping can almost be a gamble because it’s hard to know when advance what your body is going to look like 4 or 5 months from now. Don’t get too caught up in shopping for maternity clothes. It’s best to think twice before loading up your shopping bag since you have no idea how your twin pregnancy is going to go. Take clothes shopping slowly, buying only a little bit at a time. This way you can be sure to get the best value for your money.

Twins Maternity Leave: My Story

At our first ultrasound, we never thought we’d hear the doctor say that we were expecting twins. Once we had some time to wrap our heads around this incredible and unexpected news, it was time to start thinking about how we were going to plan for their arrival.

pregnant with twins maternity leave

Bies/ Flickr/ Creative Commons

In the beginning I was bound and determined to work right up until the day the twins came. However, my OBGYN recommended I go on maternity leave at 32 weeks. By then I was already pretty enormous, but I convinced her that I was ok to work a liiiiiittle longer. I was teaching third grade at the time, spending the day on my feet and with a commute of just under an hour either way. As my pregnancy progressed she insisted I stop working at 35 weeks, and I was so uncomfortable that I took her advice without hesitation.

Then, at 37 ½ weeks, the girls came! They were beautiful and delicate and oh so much work! I wanted to spend every minute looking at their sweet faces and holding their tiny bodies.

RELATED: This post explains how we financially prepared for twins.

newborn twins

I got what I wanted, and then some. That first week home from the hospital was rough, to say the least. Twins require a LOT of holding. They also cry a lot, have to be fed ‘round the clock, and between the two of them they keep you up all night. After weeks of literally sleepless nights I began to panic. How was I going to keep this up AND work a full-time job? Work started at 7:15. Factoring in the time it took to drop off the girls at daycare and my older son at school, we would all have to be out the door before 6 a.m. Adding to my anxiety was the fact that the on-campus before-school care for my oldest wasn’t even open until 6:30 and the only childcare I was able to find for the twins was 25 minutes away.

All my worries tore me apart on the inside. What was I to do about my oldest child? When was I going to spend time with my children? How was I going to be a good teacher when I wasn’t getting more than a few hours of sleep a night?

As unreasonable as it sounds, I truly felt like I was destroying all possibilities of happiness for my little family. As if any unpleasantness in the home was ultimately my fault. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was rapidly plunging into post-partum depression.

I was really hoping that I would be entitled to twice as long a paid maternity leave since I had given birth to twice the usual number of babies. Unfortunately, whether you give birth to one child or quadruplets, you are only allowed 6 weeks of paid disability leave for a vaginal delivery (even with insurance). But only 6 weeks after having twins, there is no way I was functioning at full capacity. I was a wreck, and I looked it.

I went to see my doctor, hoping that he could help me figure things out. I told him about how I was having difficulty concentrating, how I was forgetting things like the lyrics to the ABCs, and how I was losing control of my emotions. He must have recognized the symptoms of PPD, because he gave me a note for an extra week off of work and referred me to a therapist.

Because of post-partum recovery and the ensuing depression, I ended up taking a full 3 months off of work. Looking back, I really needed that time to mentally recuperate and adjust to the chaos that having twins threw my life into. In all, my maternity leave went from when I was 35 weeks pregnant to 12 weeks post-partum. When I finally went back to work, I was in a good place mentally. I could find things to laugh about, my relationship with my husband had improved, and I was enjoying my little girls more every day. Of course, it helped that a major leap of faith got me into a job that was much closer to home.

twins maternity leave

I hope this post doesn’t sound like the downer it reads in my head. Things are rough that first few months as a parent of twins, but you will survive. And even in the midst of those hard times you will find that your babies bring you so much joy.

I love hearing from other Mommies, please share your maternity story in the comments section below!

twins maternity leave

Finding Out We Were Expecting Twins

People always ask us, “What was your reaction when you found out you were having twins?” expecting twins

Well, the first thing I did was cry tears of joy and amazement. What a unique and awesome thing to find out that you are carrying two babies in your womb! I was on the phone with my mom the second we were out of the doctor’s office, and then my 3 sisters, my best friend, my grandma… You get the picture. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share their fabulous news with the whole world?

Then reality hit. It took a few days, but people started asking me questions that I didn’t have the answer to and I started to get a little anxious about how having twins would change my life.

“Are you going to go back to work?”
“How will you afford daycare?”
“Where will they sleep?”
“Do you want my baby’s hand-me-downs?”

As the gifts and second-hand baby stuff began to fill every spare corner of our apartment, my anxiety grew. Where were we supposed to fit two more people in our small apartment? Could we really handle taking on two newborns?

For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why we were having twins, and for some reason that drove me bonkers. In my hormonal preggo mind, I had to have an answer for myself and for others. Why were we having twins? My grandfather had twin sisters, and my mom’s cousin had twins, but that doesn’t seem like enough examples to say with confidence that twins run in the family. Twins are common among women who are tall (nope, not me. I’m 5’2″) and who are in their late 30’s (I was 32). Cute as they were, I just had no explanation for the twins’ presence.

Not that expecting twins was a bad thing, of course. Oddly enough, ever since we began trying for a baby, my husband wanted twins so badly that he insisted we would have twins. Imagine his surprise when turned out to be right! Naturally, I wanted to prove that this twin pregnancy was therefore his fault.

I was entirely unsuccessful. It turns out that twins are pretty much always a result of the mother. Without getting into biology and boring sciency-stuff, let’s just summarize by saying that, in spite of the fact that my husband was the one who “willed” the twins to happen, I was the one who gave them life.

And I think that’s a pretty cool thing to be able to say, don’t you? ;-)

Be sure to check out my first weeks and  first trimester experiences, and what you really need to know when you are expecting twins!

Foods I Craved while Pregnant with Twins

Did you know that some cravings are your body’s way of telling you that you are deficient in an important nutrient? In this vlog I share the 2 main things I craved  while pregnant with twins. I had no idea that my craving was because I was low in vitamin C. Check out my vlog to find out what it was!

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So what were your food cravings? Anything strange? Normal stuff? Please share! 

What You Really Need to Know if your Family is Expecting Twins

Being a parent of twins can be pretty awesome, but at times it is very difficult. If you are expecting twins, here are some things you should know. From experience, these are the difficult things about having twin babies. But there are a lot of amazing and wonderful things that go along with raising twins as well.

what you need to know when you are expecting twins

 

Teething.

Sometimes they go through phases where they are both teething at the same time and you have 2 babies who are seemingly never-ending crying. Other times one will start teething just after the other one is done getting a tooth. In that case you will always have a fussy baby and it will last for weeks.

Always holding or caring for a baby.

Babies are cute and all, but sometimes parents want a few moments where they don’t have to hold a baby. For at least a year, you and your spouse will be responsible for holding and caring for a baby at every party and social event you go to. This can get to be a drag when you are visiting with friends who don’t have kids and everyone is hanging out watching the game but you and your husband are spending the whole time chasing babies.

Breastfeeding will be a challenge. While many moms are able to breastfeed their twins for as long as they want, from experience this mom would say that breastfeeding twins is twice as hard as breastfeeding a singleton. For the full disclosure on struggles with breastfeeding twins, read this post. But to be fair there is a more successful story by Mercedes from Project Procrastinot  that you may find helpful as well.

If you have other children, you will need a bigger car. Two car seats take up a lot of space, and if you already have a toddler when the twins arrive you will need room for THREE car seats. Sure, it’s possible to fit the whole family in a sedan, but it will occasionally mean that you can’t fit grandma or a friend for your older child in the car with your family. There is also the challenge of fitting a double stroller in the back, which won’t leave a lot of room for groceries, other purchases, or luggage.

Every activity is harder when the other parent isn’t around. Carrying 2 car seats to the car, taking 2 babies to the grocery store, doing housekeeping and making meals are very unpleasant when both babies are upset and you are on your own.

“Fairness” will always be an issue.

If one baby sees you playing with the other baby, she will want to join in and you can’t do everything with 2 babies. Holding 2 babies in your lap while reading a story is quite difficult. And unless you have 2 of everything, they will often want to play with the same toy at the same time, which leads to crying and frustration.

If you are bottle feeding, you will have to figure out a system that works for your family.

Both parents will not always be around to feed both babies a bottle at the same time. One option is to prop one baby in a bouncer or Boppy pillow while holding the other baby. If there are other children in your family, holding a baby while she has her bottle is a luxury. It is not uncommon for moms of twins to place both babies in a bouncer or propped on Boppy pillows while they have their bottles, freeing up mom for a few minutes to get some housekeeping done or to care for the other children.

Expecting Twins? You’re not alone!

Parents of twins will frequently tell you, “It gets easer,” and they are right. The first 2 years are pretty tough when you are raising twins. But from then on it is a lot easier.

Are you expecting twins? Do you have any questions about what lies ahead? I wanna hear ‘em, leave me a comment!

 

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Hi, I’m Nikki!

I'm Nikki, a lover of coffee, chef for 6, elementary teacher, and expert in the art of wrangling twins. I'm also a working mom with a passion for having fun and keeping a cozy home. Come along with me on the journey of a joyful mom! Learn More…

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