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Simply Sweet Days

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The First Year

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Everything in my early pregnancy seemed to go so well. I didn’t have any complications. The girls were born healthy and we came right home from the hospital. But once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. I bought the right nursery gear, read books on breastfeeding, but had I given any consideration to myself and how I would handle life after birth? Had I researched what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins? Nope.

Today I hope to offer some answers to expecting twin mamas. If there was any advice I needed before the babies were born, any reassurance that what I was going through was normal, this would be it. In case you also are journeying into twin motherhood, this is everything a new mom of twins needs to hear. And because this is such a crazy time for you, I’m also adding advice about what you can tell friends and family. Please do not forget to speak up about what you need. Your loved ones want to be there for you!

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. Here's the advice I wish I was given before the twins were born.

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

Your hormones are going to be crazy after the babies are born. This is normal. I remember sobbing over trivial things like the weather being too warm to dress the girls in their cute outfits. Just know that the emotional roller coaster will soon be over. Tell your friends to keep an eye on you.

Watch out for the “Baby Blues”

Crazy hormones are nothing to worry about. A little crying is normal. But be mindful of symptoms that could be signs of postpartum depression. Some of them are hard to recognize in an already-exhausted new mother of twins, such as fatigue, feeling sad, and trouble sleeping. Some definite red flags are feelings of depression, changes in appetite (not eating/eating too much), feelings of harming yourself or your babies, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and difficulty bonding with your baby. Read these articles from the American Pregnancy Association and MGH Center for Women’s Health if you or a loved one may be experiencing postpartum depression. Tell your friends to make sure you take your mental health seriously.

You’re going to need help

Unfortunately, I know that not everyone in a situation where help is available. When my girls were born we didn’t have family who could come help us. My husband went back to work as soon as we got home from the hospital so I was pretty much by myself with 2 babies and their older brother from the get-go. Trust me, you can manage on your own. But if you can get help, these are some things that a mom of twins could benefit from:

  • A mother, mother in law, or other family coming to stay and help for a time. Set aside your differences and accept their help!
  • Hiring a night nanny or postpartum doula. You could even ask friends and family to pitch in to hire one instead of giving baby shower gifts.
  • A babysitter or mother’s helper who can come help you for an hour or two. If money is tight, see if you can barter. Post in your local neighborhood page and I’m sure some kind-hearted individuals will step up.
twin babies hiding under a blanket

You will be sleep deprived for a few months

Babies need some time to settle into life on the outside world. Their days and nights are flipped in those first few weeks. You will survive, and you can even go back to work. I highly recommend getting them on some sort of a schedule. We fed the girls on demand… kind of. When one baby woke up to eat, we woke her sister up and fed her too. Eventually they started getting hungry at the same time and in turn feeling sleepy at the same time. Tell your friends to come over, hold babies, and let you take a nap!

Becoming a mom of twins is a big change, but one that brings with it so much joy and love. You can still live your normal life, it’s just going to have two babies in it. You can get out of the house and you won’t have to take everything but the kitchen sink when you do. These babies are a tremendous blessing and I know you’re going to love being a twin mom.

To read more about my experience as an expecting mom of twins, check out these related posts:

Surviving with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep

Twins in One Crib or Two?

When I First Found Out I was Having Twins

If you’re here because you’re expecting twins or you know someone who is, I’d love to connect with you. Drop a comment down below and say hi. If you need encouragement or a virtual hug, I’m here for you.

~Nikki

12 Ways We Financially Prepared for Twins

12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

Twins are an amazing treasure. With how often they draw the attention of people as they pass, it’s impossible not to be constantly reminded of the tremendous blessing that these little oddities of nature are. But when we first found out we were expecting twins, one of our biggest joy-crushers was the fear of how we were going to afford them. As early as the first trimester, I started working to make sure that we were financially prepared for twins. It took a little more effort to save money, but it was totally worth it.   

We financially prepared for twins by examining the cost

What’s the expense parents loathe the most? Daycare. For about 5 months we struggled financially as almost an entire paycheck from my husband’s job was signed away to daycare costs. Whether both parents worked or not, we were broke either way. As much as I never thought we could survive as a family of 5 (and growing!), we had to face reality and take the kids out of daycare to stay home with Daddy. The issue of affording childcare was the biggest financial struggle we faced financially, and there was really no way to prepare for it. But with belt tightening, grit, determination, and creative thinking we have been able to make it on my pennies teacher’s salary so John could be home with the kids. You’d be surprised how manageable it is to go down to one income, and the benefits of having your children home with you are tremendous.

We began with the “end” in mind

Since I knew we couldn’t financially prepare for the cost of daycare, I started early with preparing for other expenses, like diapers. Every time we went grocery shopping we’d buy a single package of diapers. Spreading out the expense over time meant that when the girls came we didn’t have to buy diapers for almost 9 months! It’s a good idea to stockpile other non-perishables, like store bought baby food and wipes.

Reusing and recycling

12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

We reached out to our friends and family and asked for any baby- or pregnancy-related items that they were willing to hand down to us. Amazingly, we ended up with TWO cribs, plenty of maternity clothes, and little girl clothes up to age 2! I also kept an eye on the forums in our local Twin Parents club website. It’s how I ended up with the nursing pillow that helped me with breastfeeding twins.        

What if breastfeeding doesn’t work out?

If you subscribe to the Huggies, Enfamil, Similac or Honest emails or mailing lists, they often send out coupons for formula and other baby items. I saved these coupons just in case breastfeeding was too hard with twins.

Thrift shop, baby!

For necessities like maternity clothes for twins, which I was only going to need for a few months, I made do with thrift store finds. We ended up getting so many baby clothes from friends and family that we didn’t need to go into the children’s section of the thrift shop. Between secondhand shops and visiting yard sales, I was able to fully stock the nursery (including a $10 glider!). What I hadn’t thought about, even though this wasn’t my first pregnancy, was how I would also need larger-than-usual clothing for AFTER the girls came. I didn’t exactly “bounce back” to my old shape but I was plenty “bouncy” in the midsection for at least a year. 😉

Let’s be real:

I had to be realistic about what I could and couldn’t afford. I wanted new cribs and playpens, but settled for hand-me-downs that were in great shape. We chose generic over name-brand baby products and found them to still be of good quality. When friends and family asked what I needed, I would ask for diapers or for them to buy us the things we wanted but didn’t really need, like cute designer outfits and fancy baby toys.

One is enough

At first we didn’t buy two of each of the more expensive baby items. We bought one, gave the babies a chance to use it and considered if they like it enough to make it worth getting a second one. The girls absolutely hated the baby swing, so thankfully we only had to pack one up to return it. We also were able to last a long time with only one crib because we had our twins sleep in the same crib.

Bank sick days

My job allowed my sick days to roll over to the next year, and those got used up first when I went on maternity leave with the twins. As a teacher, I can’t collect State Disability Insurance, so I planned ahead and signed up for short-term disability insurance through my employer’s benefits provider. This actually helped us out a lot because the insurance granted me 60% of my pre-tax paycheck, and since I had a lot of deductions taken out of my check for health and dental insurance, taxes, union dues and retirement, my maternity leave checks were bigger than what I was used to!

Calling all angels!

Bringing twins into the world is as exhausting as it is rewarding. Two of my mom’s friends were kind enough to come and help around the house about once a week, which totally saved my sanity. It got to where I’d just leave the dishes and pile of clean laundry because I knew they were coming the next day to help with housekeeping. Before the twins arrive, I strongly suggest lining up volunteers to come over and help with housework. Once the babies come you’re too overwhelmed to do it all.

For dinner we’re having…?

A few other thing that can be arranged in advance are a Meal Train and groceries. During the first 2-3 months, the days were such a blur that we were just trying to survive  newborn twins on little sleep. Trying to wrap our heads around dinner plans or the contents of the pantry was more than we could handle. Thankfully, our friends and family pitched in to provide us with a delivery of groceries. There is also a website, mealtrain.com, where your friends can sign up for nights to bring over dinner.

Thinking long-term

Twins, or just children in general, are expensive. Their wants and needs just get more and more pricey as they grow older. I can’t even fathom having to pay for two weddings. Thankfully that challenge is still a looooong way off. However, we recently set up a 529 college savings plan for the twins. It’s a great investment because the savings can only be used for college expenses, of which there are plenty!

Join the Amazon Family

Did you know you can join Amazon Family and get discounts on diapers? Plus they offer a variety of coupons and discounts on products for babies and toddlers. We used Amazon Family (formerly Amazon Mom) when the twins were little, and since we’re already Prime members we get our orders in 2 days or less.

When you are expecting twins, it’s a good idea to save money wherever you can. We wanted to have enough in the bank so that we didn’t have to worry about expenses, and could focus on enjoying our new babies. It’s ok to ask your friends and family to pitch in, since bringing home newborn twins is likely to be the biggest challenge you will face as a parent.

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Hello sunny days!?? ?? Being at home is not so bad when your sister is your best friend. ???? ?? I busted out my big camera for some family pics. ? This is a great time to jump back into an old hobby! Have you started or picked up an old hobby during shelter in place? ?? . . . . . . #cameramama #selfcareformoms #thehappynow #momplusjoy #simplychildren #sandiegomom #twinsisters #bestfriendsforlife #twinning #sistersquad #ipreview via @preview.app

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12 financial planning ideas for couples who are wanting to start saving money before the arrival of their baby twins. If you are wondering about stretching your budget to fit the needs of twins, you can find some advice here. New moms, check this first before preparing a financial plan for your newborn babies.

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Multiples Illuminated Review

Disclaimer: I received a free .pdf copy of this book but the opinions expressed here are my own. Some links may be affiliate.

A few years ago a childhood friend found out she was pregnant with twins. She didn’t know many people who had twins so we sat down together one afternoon and hashed it all out. We covered topics like what the pregnancy might be like, what help she will need once they arrive, breastfeeding twins, and on and on.

being a mother of twins

To be honest, each mom’s experience with twins is different from the next. Every family comes with their own set of struggles and triumphs, and there is a lesson to be learned from the challenges they’ve faced. That’s why I think the book Multiples Illuminated is ideal for any mom-of-multiples-to-be. It’s packed with stories written by women who carried twins or triplets.

Multiples Illuminated is encouraging

When my twins were first born, I was so overwhelmed. I desperately needed to hear that I was going to be ok, that things will get easier. The personal stories in this book do just that. I’m amazed at how every type of mother (and father!) of multiples is represented here. From struggling with infertility to what to do on bed rest to finding out you’re having triplets to visiting your babies in the NICU, a piece of me can relate to every voice on these pages. From them I hear the glorious messages of hope, survival, bravery, and love.   

multiples illuminated facebook

From Multiples Illuminated Facebook

Multiples Illuminated gives you the whole scoop

This is not just a book of stories, my friends. The two main authors wisely included practical “what do I need for___” lists. Through the narratives, you get an idea of what it may be like to have one twin born with a learning disability, how to manage getting out of the house with two babies, and much more.

… And a bit of humor!

An excerpt from one of the essays, The Main Attraction by Briton Underwood pretty much sums up every parent of multiples’s experience in public:

“Did you plan them?” You don’t plan twins. How would you do that? Yeah, my wife planned to knock it all out in one pregnancy. We wanted one of them to be a girl, but that would have taken even more planning.

“Do twins run in your family?” Well, you can see they certainly don’t walk. Excuse me while I chase down those two wonders headed towards the candy aisle.

Be sure to find Punk Rock Papa on Facebook. He’s hilarious!

Having twins is like becoming a first time mom all over again, which makes it doubly scary if your twins are your first babies! I can’t stress enough the power in the words on these pages to lift up and warm the hearts of parents of multiples. Order a copy for a gift to a mom of multiples. This makes a perfect baby shower gift, too!  

multiples illuminated cover

Find out more at www.multiplesilluminated.com.

Twins in One Crib or Two?

When we were expecting our twins, one of the questions people always asked us was whether we would put our twins to sleep in one crib or two cribs. Sleeping arrangements for your twins is a big deal because you want to do what’s best for them, and after about day 2 you will realize that you REALLY want to do whatever gets you the most sleep at night. When it comes to making the big decision about their cribs, safety should be your number one concern. Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. If you choose to click through to buy,  at no  additional cost to you, the company sends me a few pennies. Your support of this blog is much appreciated.

should you put your twins in one crib or two cribs

Copyright: karenr / 123RF Stock Photo

 

Do you want them to cosleep?

Cosleeping twins share a crib space and go to sleep at the same time. Putting them to bed at the same time is ideal, whether or not they are in the same crib. Until they start to move around too much it is safe for them to share a bed. For the first few weeks, twins sleep better when placed near each other. As they grow and learn to move, one wiggly twin scooting around can wake up the other twin. Our twins actually slept just fine in one crib until they were a year old. HOWEVER, since that time I have heard numerous stories of mothers who lost a twin due to an incidence of SIDS. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against putting twins in one crib because the risk of SIDS is increased for low-birthweight babies and when babies share a crib. For more information on safely putting your twins to sleep, visit SIDS and Kids or read this publication.    

why raising twins is awesome

How much room do you have?

When our twins were little, we didn’t know that twins weren’t supposed to be in the same bed. We were short on space, so we only had room for one crib in our room. This was a few years before the space- and budget-friendly Swaddle Me By Your Side Sleeper. We would have definitely used that if it was available back then! They both slept in the same crib in our tiny bedroom for a full year. That’s a long time to have to sneak around the room at bedtime! But it was convenient keeping them in the room with us. Newborn twins come with two times the nighttime wake-ups. Ours were within 2 feet of Mommy and Daddy so getting up to help them find their pacifier every few hours was no big deal. If your bedrooms are small but you want separate cribs, another option would be to put one crib or Pack and Play in the living room and one in the bedroom. Dad’s Guide to Twins has more crib arrangement ideas for small space living.

how do you decide if you put your twins in one crib or two

A Pack ‘N Play with a double bassinet keeps both babies close by and safe!

 

What is your budget like?

Don’t we all wish we could just go on a shopping spree before setting up the nursery? If it is in your budget to have matching cribs and bedding, you might as well get two right away. We didn’t have it in our budget to buy two brand-new cribs, but we got lucky with hand-me-downs. 2 different friends had a crib they wanted to get rid of, and they were both similar in color and design. If your budget is tight, keep your eyes peeled for nursery gear at garage sales and thrift stores, and ask around. Cribs are a big ticket item that parents hang on to long after they are outgrown, and they are usually happy to donate or resell a crib to someone who needs it. Also, check out our 12 tips for financially planning for twins.

When it comes to deciding if you want your twins in one crib or two, my best advice is to put them in separate cribs just to be on the safe side. Even though our twins co-slept, I was constantly worried that one was going to smother her sister while they slept. You’re going to need a second one sooner or later, and once the twins arrive life gets pretty crazy. Twins often arrive earlier than expected, so it’s best to be prepared and have a second crib ready. That way you can sleep better knowing your twins are sleeping safely.

Are you or someone you know expecting twins? You might also like this post on what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins.

Getting Twins on a Schedule

It was so important to me to get my twins on a schedule. I wanted to be able to dictate when they slept and ate, thinking it would give me more freedom. This vlog tells how getting twins on a schedule went down for us.

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How to Survive with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep

The first few months with your new twin babies are a wonderful time of bonding. But it is also a lot of work and you aren’t going to get a lot of sleep. If you are looking at going back to work when your standard maternity leave is up (6 weeks post-partum for vaginal delivery, 8 weeks for C-Section), there is a good chance that you are going to be pretty sleep-deprived. It’s going to be tough, but there are some things you can do to help you survive on very little sleep.

tired mom

  • Try a different sleeping arrangement. Newborns wiggle around a lot and make all sorts of tiny noises that may be unnecessarily keeping you up. If your babies are in the room with you, try moving them to another room. Or try co-sleeping if you feel that you are losing too much sleep by frequent trips to the nursery (although the American Academy of Pediatrics warns against bed-sharing due to the increased risk of SIDS).

  • Take turns with mid-night feedings. Your partner can give the babies a bottle of pumped breastmilk, formula, or a mixture of the two while you catch a few more Zzz’s. Newborns usually wake up 2-3 times a night, so if you also feed them well just before bedtime, they may last a bit longer until the next feeding. Your spouse can take that feeding, and you can do the next one.
  • Recruit help. Reach out to friends and family. If anyone can come over to help with the twins (and better yet, see if they can bring along a second helper), don’t try and get cleaning or laundry done! Lay down for a few minutes in a dark and quiet room and take a nap. This is not the time to be the perfect hostess. You asked people to come and help you, which they can best do by letting you sleep and maybe even taking care of some of the housekeeping while you’re napping.
  • Find alternatives to caffeine, especially if you are breastfeeding. Drinking caffeine after noon may affect your ability to get a good night’s sleep, so stick to drinking water and eating healthy, high-energy snacks.
  • Let the house get messy. Don’t try and keep up with every dirty dish, load of laundry, and messy floor, because you just can’t at this time in your life. What you can do is commit to tackling one chore a day. Choose one cleaning activity, like vacuuming, and be content that you at least cleaned something. Right now, sleep is more important than a spic-and-span house. tips-for-surviving-the-newborn-stage-of-twins
  • Don’t feel obligated to take on any extra responsibilities. You won’t make a good room mom or team parent or PTA chairperson if you can’t stay awake to do your job well. For just a few months, say no to additional tasks and obligations. Your other children/church friends/coworkers will understand.
  • Catch up by getting extra sleep on the weekends. On the weekend, you can nap when the babies do and hopefully get a little more sleep than you would on work days. Read this article for more info about “banking” sleep.
  • Prioritize. At work, do your important, complicated tasks first-while you are still alert! Save easier, less-involved tasks for after lunch, when you are more likely to be getting tired.
  • Take a lunchtime siesta. Your lunch break is your time, if you need to take a 20-minute catnap in the car or at your desk-do it! And don’t feel silly about it either. A short nap may just be the perfect way to revive yourself in order to take on the rest of the work day feeling refreshed.
  • Be cognizant of your mood swings. Extreme sleep deprivation can bring about changes in mood, and new moms should be alert for signs of “The Baby Blues” and post-partum depression. Talk to your doctor if you think you may be experiencing any of these symptoms.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. None of the above should be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. All content is for informational purposes only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in regards to any health or sleep-related questions or concerns you may have.

 

How Do You Tell Twins Apart?

At the school where I teach, there are the most adorable set of identical twin boys. They haven’t been in my class, so I don’t know them very well, but I see them almost every day at dismissal as they are waiting for their mom. I’ve spent a (probably unnecessarily) long time trying to study their faces in hopes of being able to figure out who is who. I’m sure their mom can tell in an instant which one of the twins is Joey and which is Jimmy, but for anyone not in their immediate family this seems like an impossible thing to know.

Which makes me really sympathize for people who can’t tell my fraternal twins apart. twins look alike

It’s just amazing to me that two people can look so much alike but are really as different as night and day. People will tell you to paint their toenails different colors or put an elastic band on their wrist so you don’t get them confused, but you won’t need any of those things. Whether you decide to dress them alike or not you will always know who is who.

So how do you tell twins apart?

There is no specific rule to follow when it comes to telling twins apart. You’ll recognize them by their newborn cry,  the shape of their nose, by the position they’re in as they sleep. You’ll easily notice differences in their walk or their voice or the way they smile. With your own twins, you learn pretty early on how to tell them apart.  And if they aren’t yours, you’ll learn their differences soon enough.

newborn twins

While we were still in the hospital  in the hospital the medical bands placed on the girls when they were born helped us keep them straight. But, honestly, as soon as we got home we didn’t need those bands anymore. We could tell them apart by looking at the shape of Emily’s lips or of Madeline’s face. We got their ears pierced as soon as we could, which helped our relatives to know who is who by the color of their earrings.

But our twins, like all other children, are so much more different than simply having pink or purple earrings.

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Emily wants to sit with you and be held on your lap for hours on end. There is a stubborn streak to her, especially if you want her to do something that she doesn’t want to do. And she is often content just playing by herself. Madeline is the adventurous one. She thinks nothing of leaping off of the couch or into the pool, regardless if there is someone there to catch her. She keeps tabs on Emily, calling for her when she’s not nearby.  And, even though I try often, she is just not a cuddler.  She is happy sitting next to me, but needs to be free to run off and play at a moment’s notice. Emily likes to go down the slide, while Madeline prefers the swings. Emily won’t walk on sand, but Madeline isn’t bothered by it. Emily is shy around new people, meanwhile Madeline says hi to anyone who looks her way. I could go on and on…

twins

People always ask me how I tell them apart, and I’m not very good with my words so I never know what to say. Usually I look down and find some clothing difference like “Her shoe has a scratch on the toe” or “She’s wearing a red clip”, because I know that they just want some way that they can use to differentiate the girls. They want to be able to relate to the twins, and appreciate that kindness. I don’t get offended when people can’t tell my girls apart since they don’t know my girls like I do.  As special as my twins are to me, I don’t ever want to make someone feel awkward. So I treasure up their unique little differences in my heart and beam with pride when people ask, “How do you tell them apart?” because I can’t wait to share how each one is wonderful in her own way.

Surviving the First Weeks of Twin Babies

Congratulations! Your twins are here! … Now what do you do with them? Coming from a Mama who has been there, here are some solutions for surviving the first weeks of twins babies.

surviving the first weeks of twin babies

The arrival of twins can be a real reality check for parents. Even parents who have older children take some time adjusting to their new twin babies.
Along with all the wonderful things about having twins comes just a smidgen of hardship.

Your biggest challenge will be the tandem crying.

Once you are on your own with your twins, it can be really hard to deal with two babies crying at once. You may even find it stressful not being able to care for them immediately when they cry. One mommy can’t hold two crying babies and soothe them as effectively as she can one baby. And no matter how you try to plan feeding times, inevitably they will get hungry at the same time. Until you are confident with feeding your twins at the same time, one will cry while the other is fed.

Some solutions for surviving the first weeks of twin babies:

Solution 1: The Art of Distraction

Parents of twins swear by baby swings and vibrating bouncy chairs. By setting the babies in a swing or bouncer, you can soothe both at once, or soothe one while you nurse/tend to the other. Another option is to play a Baby Einstein musical video. They may not be able to see the video at this young age, but the rhythmic sounds may calm them down.

Solution 2: Hit the Road

Car rides for most babies are very soothing. While every baby is different, many find the mellow hum of the motor to be comforting. Taking a short car ride may be just the trick a mom or dad needs to reclaim some of their sanity. If car rides don’t soothe your baby, you’re not alone. We had a screamer that earned herself the nickname “Screamy McHates-the-Car”.

Solution 3: Double Carriers

Check this bad boy out. Someone invented a way to hold two babies! This may be more of a “daddy” solution and not a “post-C-section mommy” solution. Strap those little ones on and go for a relaxing walk. Some fresh air would benefit both mommy and babies.

Solution 4: Get a Helper

My one and only word of advice for parents expecting twins is to get some help. We didn’t have family who could stay with us, but a friend would come over for a couple hours once a week. Just that extra set of hands was a tremendous help. If you are like us and are without family in the area to help you, check this post for some ideas on how to get help.

Solution 5: Look Inwards

If you are overwhelmed, stressed, or dealing with anxiety or depression, your babies may have trouble calming down. If you are having trouble reacting to your babies in a soothing way, look into getting some help for yourself. You may also try giving yourself a “time out”: Count to ten, take deep breaths, go outside or walk around the house.

For most parents, the first 4 or 5 months of having twins are the hardest. It seems terrible at times. You will want nothing more than to console and comfort your babies but you can’t at all times. Somehow we get th

rough those rough patches. Thankfully they were few and far between.

Surviving the first weeks of twin babies is the toughest thing you will have to do. Hang in there, it won’t be this way forever. After that, parenting twins will get a little easier every month.

 

Bringing Home Newborn Twins

I couldn’t begin to describe the total elation that I felt the moment my newborn twins arrived. The emotions that had built up all those months, as I waited impatiently to see their tiny faces, all came to the surface in those glorious minutes after their birth. My husband took at least 20 pictures as the girls were weighed and measured. Then I was wheeled from the bright, chaotic operating room full of doctors and nurses to a small, dark, side room. For a few minutes it was just me, my babies, my husband, and my mom in the dark. We were full of excitement and energy even though it was 4 a.m. and we’d been up all night. newborn twins

The next few days in the hospital are a blur in my mind now. My husband and I slept and ate whenever we could, which was not often because one or both of the girls were crying at all hours. I remember feeling irritated at the constant inflow of nurses and doctors. At one point I may have gotten a little short-tempered with a nurse after being woken up for the umpteenth time from my brief catnap for yet another vitals check, and then this note was posted on our door (probably as a warning to potential intruders).  P1000938 But our time in the busy maternity ward only lasted a few days and then we were on our way home. My husband drove more slowly and carefully than I’ve ever seen him drive, with our two precious girls snugly fitted into their new carseats. newborn twins

The twins were 3 days old when we brought them home. My husband and I went through my struggles with breastfeeding twins together. He was by my side whenever possible, even in the middle of the night when he had to get up for work at 4 a.m. the next day. We couldn’t really afford for him to take off more time to help me at home, so he stayed with the twins and I one more day and then went back to work. My mom came over the first 2 days to take my 4th grade son to school. Then, when the girls were 6 days old, I loaded them into a stroller and walked my big kid to and from school.

From day 5 I was caring for newborn twins on my own. Of course my husband did more than half of the work when he wasn’t at work. But for most of the day it was just me.

And I did it. I survived! To you mothers of newborn twins, I can assure that you will also survive (read here to find out how I survived those first few weeks, and here to read about how to deal with the lack of sleep!). In the meanwhile, take some deep breaths, laugh often, and treasure this time. Your twins are only small for a little while. They will be grown up before you know it.

When Your Twin Babies Are not Sleeping

I have to say that the hardest part of welcoming twins into our home was the months and months of not sleeping well. I look back at those photos when the girls were newborns and all I can think is how haggard and greasy-haired I looked. I’m pretty sure I sacrificed a shower for a few more minutes of sleep way more often than I should have.

haggard looking twin mommy

Ick. Let’s blame the lighting.

When your twin babies are not sleeping, you’ll try anything. I tried sleep training methods, particularly from the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins”, and found them to be unsuccessful. I think the key component for sleep training that authors don’t mention is that one parent has to always be home, and with other children in the family that just isn’t possible. Naps and bedtimes in our home were frequently off-schedule because of needing to go to football practice or run some errand that really couldn’t wait. Moms have sleep trained their twins, and they’re very vocal about their success in the online communities, but I’ve never met such a miracle worker in person.;-)

Many other twin moms have dealt with twins not sleeping (and survived to tell about it), so there are some things you can do.

Swaddling is a great way to help twin or singleton babies sleep better. My twins were eensy-beensy, so I had to go online to find a preemie swaddle blanket. We used the Halo swaddle sack and it worked well for their tiny size.

I just love this post from reddit of the new daddy who likes to swaddle!

With twins, you have to decide early on if they are going to be co-sleeping with mom and dad, sleeping in separate cribs, or sleeping in the same crib. Some moms decide to keep their twins in one crib after months of having slept in separate cribs, and the babies don’t respond well to the addition of their sibling in their sleeping space. Ours slept in the same crib for just over a year, and transitioned well to separate cribs after that. newborn twins

Another suggestion that I’ve heard from moms is to “powerfeed” right before bedtime. Give your babies a really big feeding (bottle or breastfeeding) right before putting them down, and then don’t feed them overnight. According to Children’s Health Network pediatrician Barton D. Schmitt, MD, babies can be weaned from night feedings at 6 months. That being said, many moms (not this one) feel more comfortable knowing that their babies are nice and full if they are given a little rice cereal in their bedtime bottle. I personally didn’t do that, and my twins were still sleeping through the night at 6 months.

At around 6 months, many babies begin teething. No matter what you do, your twins may struggle with sleeping through the night because they are going through the discomfort of getting their first teeth. You can try Orajel or infant Tylenol to ease the babies’ pain. Moms also rave about the effectiveness of a Baltic Amber teething necklace. I’m going to give this a try during the next round of teething, I’ll let you know how it goes.

To sum up, here’s my advice for when your twins babies are not sleeping :

Sleep training? Meh. Swaddling? Definitely. Also, stick to one sleep arrangement, powerfeed, and teething is a bummer. Did I miss any good tips? Please share in the comments!

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Hi, I’m Nikki!

I'm Nikki, a lover of coffee, chef for 6, elementary teacher, and expert in the art of wrangling twins. I'm also a working mom with a passion for having fun and keeping a cozy home. Come along with me on the journey of a joyful mom! Learn More…

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