The First Year

When we were expecting our twins, one of the questions people always asked us was whether we would put our twins to sleep in one crib or two cribs. Sleeping arrangements for your twins is a big deal because you want to do what’s best for them, and after about day 2 you will realize that you REALLY want to do whatever gets you the most sleep at night. When it comes to making the big decision about their cribs, safety should be your number one concern. Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. If you choose to click through to buy,  at no  additional cost to you, the company sends me a few pennies. Your support of this blog is much appreciated.

Copyright: karenr / 123RF Stock Photo

Do you want them to cosleep?

Cosleeping twins share a crib space and go to sleep at the same time. Putting them to bed at the same time is ideal, whether or not they are in the same crib. Until they start to move around too much it is safe for them to share a bed. For the first few weeks, twins sleep better when placed near each other. As they grow and learn to move, one wiggly twin scooting around can wake up the other twin. Our twins actually slept just fine in one crib until they were a year old. HOWEVER, since that time I have heard numerous stories of mothers who lost a twin due to an incidence of SIDS. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against putting twins in one crib because the risk of SIDS is increased for low-birthweight babies and when babies share a crib. For more information on safely putting your twins to sleep, visit SIDS and Kids or read this publication.    

How much room do you have?

When our twins were little, we didn’t know that twins weren’t supposed to be in the same bed. We were short on space, so we only had room for one crib in our room. This was a few years before the space- and budget-friendly Swaddle Me By Your Side Sleeper. We would have definitely used that if it was available back then! They both slept in the same crib in our tiny bedroom for a full year. That’s a long time to have to sneak around the room at bedtime! But it was convenient keeping them in the room with us. Newborn twins come with two times the nighttime wake-ups. Ours were within 2 feet of Mommy and Daddy so getting up to help them find their pacifier every few hours was no big deal. If your bedrooms are small but you want separate cribs, another option would be to put one crib or Pack and Play in the living room and one in the bedroom. Dad’s Guide to Twins has more crib arrangement ideas for small space living.

A Pack ‘N Play with a double bassinet keeps both babies close by and safe!

What is your budget like?

Don’t we all wish we could just go on a shopping spree before setting up the nursery? If it is in your budget to have matching cribs and bedding, you might as well get two right away. We didn’t have it in our budget to buy two brand-new cribs, but we got lucky with hand-me-downs. 2 different friends had a crib they wanted to get rid of, and they were both similar in color and design. If your budget is tight, keep your eyes peeled for nursery gear at garage sales and thrift stores, and ask around. Cribs are a big ticket item that parents hang on to long after they are outgrown, and they are usually happy to donate or resell a crib to someone who needs it. Also, check out our 12 tips for financially planning for twins.

When it comes to deciding if you want your twins in one crib or two, my best advice is to put them in separate cribs just to be on the safe side. Even though our twins co-slept, I was constantly worried that one was going to smother her sister while they slept. You’re going to need a second one sooner or later, and once the twins arrive life gets pretty crazy. Twins often arrive earlier than expected, so it’s best to be prepared and have a second crib ready. That way you can sleep better knowing your twins are sleeping safely.

Are you or someone you know expecting twins? You might also like this post on what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins.

The first few months with your new twin babies are a wonderful time of bonding. But it is also a lot of work and you aren’t going to get a lot of sleep. If you are looking at going back to work when your standard maternity leave is up (6 weeks post-partum for vaginal delivery, 8 weeks for C-Section), there is a good chance that you are going to be pretty sleep-deprived. It’s going to be tough, but there are some things you can do to help you survive on very little sleep.

• Try a different sleeping arrangement. Newborns wiggle around a lot and make all sorts of tiny noises that may be unnecessarily keeping you up. If your babies are in the room with you, try moving them to another room. Or try co-sleeping if you feel that you are losing too much sleep by frequent trips to the nursery (although the American Academy of Pediatrics warns against bed-sharing due to the increased risk of SIDS).

• Take turns with mid-night feedings. Your partner can give the babies a bottle of pumped breastmilk, formula, or a mixture of the two while you catch a few more Zzz’s. Newborns usually wake up 2-3 times a night, so if you also feed them well just before bedtime, they may last a bit longer until the next feeding. Your spouse can take that feeding, and you can do the next one.
• Recruit help. Reach out to friends and family. If anyone can come over to help with the twins (and better yet, see if they can bring along a second helper), don’t try and get cleaning or laundry done! Lay down for a few minutes in a dark and quiet room and take a nap. This is not the time to be the perfect hostess. You asked people to come and help you, which they can best do by letting you sleep and maybe even taking care of some of the housekeeping while you’re napping.
• Find alternatives to caffeine, especially if you are breastfeeding. Drinking caffeine after noon may affect your ability to get a good night’s sleep, so stick to drinking water and eating healthy, high-energy snacks.
• Let the house get messy. Don’t try and keep up with every dirty dish, load of laundry, and messy floor, because you just can’t at this time in your life. What you can do is commit to tackling one chore a day. Choose one cleaning activity, like vacuuming, and be content that you at least cleaned something. Right now, sleep is more important than a spic-and-span house.
  
• Don’t feel obligated to take on any extra responsibilities. You won’t make a good room mom or team parent or PTA chairperson if you can’t stay awake to do your job well. For just a few months, say no to additional tasks and obligations. Your other children/church friends/coworkers will understand.
• Catch up by getting extra sleep on the weekends. On the weekend, you can nap when the babies do and hopefully get a little more sleep than you would on work days. Read this article for more info about “banking” sleep.
• Prioritize. At work, do your important, complicated tasks first-while you are still alert! Save easier, less-involved tasks for after lunch, when you are more likely to be getting tired.
• Take a lunchtime siesta. Your lunch break is your time, if you need to take a 20-minute catnap in the car or at your desk-do it! And don’t feel silly about it either. A short nap may just be the perfect way to revive yourself in order to take on the rest of the work day feeling refreshed.
• Be cognizant of your mood swings. Extreme sleep deprivation can bring about changes in mood, and new moms should be alert for signs of “The Baby Blues” and post-partum depression. Talk to your doctor if you think you may be experiencing any of these symptoms.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. None of the above should be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. All content is for informational purposes only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in regards to any health or sleep-related questions or concerns you may have.

Congratulations! Your twins are here! … Now what do you do with them? Coming from a Mama who has been there, here are some solutions for surviving the first weeks of twins babies.

The arrival of twins can be a real reality check for parents. Even parents who have older children take some time adjusting to their new twin babies.
Along with all the wonderful things about having twins comes just a smidgen of hardship.

Your biggest challenge will be the tandem crying.

Once you are on your own with your twins, it can be really hard to deal with two babies crying at once. You may even find it stressful not being able to care for them immediately when they cry. One mommy can’t hold two crying babies and soothe them as effectively as she can one baby. And no matter how you try to plan feeding times, inevitably they will get hungry at the same time. Until you are confident with feeding your twins at the same time, one will cry while the other is fed.

Some solutions for surviving the first weeks of twin babies:

Solution 1: The Art of Distraction

Parents of twins swear by baby swings and vibrating bouncy chairs. By setting the babies in a swing or bouncer, you can soothe both at once, or soothe one while you nurse/tend to the other. Another option is to play a Baby Einstein musical video. They may not be able to see the video at this young age, but the rhythmic sounds may calm them down.

Solution 2: Hit the Road

Car rides for most babies are very soothing. While every baby is different, many find the mellow hum of the motor to be comforting. Taking a short car ride may be just the trick a mom or dad needs to reclaim some of their sanity. If car rides don’t soothe your baby, you’re not alone. We had a screamer that earned herself the nickname “Screamy McHates-the-Car”.

Solution 3: Double Carriers

Check this bad boy out. Someone invented a way to hold two babies! This may be more of a “daddy” solution and not a “post-C-section mommy” solution. Strap those little ones on and go for a relaxing walk. Some fresh air would benefit both mommy and babies.

Solution 4: Get a Helper

My one and only word of advice for parents expecting twins is to get some help. We didn’t have family who could stay with us, but a friend would come over for a couple hours once a week. Just that extra set of hands was a tremendous help. If you are like us and are without family in the area to help you, check this post for some ideas on how to get help.

Solution 5: Look Inwards

If you are overwhelmed, stressed, or dealing with anxiety or depression, your babies may have trouble calming down. If you are having trouble reacting to your babies in a soothing way, look into getting some help for yourself. You may also try giving yourself a “time out”: Count to ten, take deep breaths, go outside or walk around the house.

For most parents, the first 4 or 5 months of having twins are the hardest. It seems terrible at times. You will want nothing more than to console and comfort your babies but you can’t at all times. Somehow we get th

rough those rough patches. Thankfully they were few and far between.

Surviving the first weeks of twin babies is the toughest thing you will have to do. Hang in there, it won’t be this way forever. After that, parenting twins will get a little easier every month.

I couldn’t begin to describe the total elation that I felt the moment my newborn twins arrived. The emotions that had built up all those months, as I waited impatiently to see their tiny faces, all came to the surface in those glorious minutes after their birth. My husband took at least 20 pictures as the girls were weighed and measured. Then I was wheeled from the bright, chaotic operating room full of doctors and nurses to a small, dark, side room. For a few minutes it was just me, my babies, my husband, and my mom in the dark. We were full of excitement and energy even though it was 4 a.m. and we’d been up all night.

The next few days in the hospital are a blur in my mind now. My husband and I slept and ate whenever we could, which was not often because one or both of the girls were crying at all hours. I remember feeling irritated at the constant inflow of nurses and doctors. At one point I may have gotten a little short-tempered with a nurse after being woken up for the umpteenth time from my brief catnap for yet another vitals check, and then this note was posted on our door (probably as a warning to potential intruders).  But our time in the busy maternity ward only lasted a few days and then we were on our way home. My husband drove more slowly and carefully than I’ve ever seen him drive, with our two precious girls snugly fitted into their new carseats.

The twins were 3 days old when we brought them home. My husband and I went through my struggles with breastfeeding twins together. He was by my side whenever possible, even in the middle of the night when he had to get up for work at 4 a.m. the next day. We couldn’t really afford for him to take off more time to help me at home, so he stayed with the twins and I one more day and then went back to work. My mom came over the first 2 days to take my 4^th grade son to school. Then, when the girls were 6 days old, I loaded them into a stroller and walked my big kid to and from school.

From day 5 I was caring for newborn twins on my own. Of course my husband did more than half of the work when he wasn’t at work. But for most of the day it was just me.

And I did it. I survived! To you mothers of newborn twins, I can assure that you will also survive (read here to find out how I survived those first few weeks, and here to read about how to deal with the lack of sleep!). In the meanwhile, take some deep breaths, laugh often, and treasure this time. Your twins are only small for a little while. They will be grown up before you know it.

I have to say that the hardest part of welcoming twins into our home was the months and months of not sleeping well. I look back at those photos when the girls were newborns and all I can think is how haggard and greasy-haired I looked. I’m pretty sure I sacrificed a shower for a few more minutes of sleep way more often than I should have.

Ick. Let’s blame the lighting.

When your twin babies are not sleeping, you’ll try anything. I tried sleep training methods, particularly from the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins”, and found them to be unsuccessful. I think the key component for sleep training that authors don’t mention is that one parent has to always be home, and with other children in the family that just isn’t possible. Naps and bedtimes in our home were frequently off-schedule because of needing to go to football practice or run some errand that really couldn’t wait. Moms have sleep trained their twins, and they’re very vocal about their success in the online communities, but I’ve never met such a miracle worker in person.

Many other twin moms have dealt with twins not sleeping (and survived to tell about it), so there are some things you can do.

Swaddling is a great way to help twin or singleton babies sleep better. My twins were eensy-beensy, so I had to go online to find a preemie swaddle blanket. We used the Halo swaddle sack and it worked well for their tiny size.

I just love this post from reddit of the new daddy who likes to swaddle!

With twins, you have to decide early on if they are going to be co-sleeping with mom and dad, sleeping in separate cribs, or sleeping in the same crib. Some moms decide to keep their twins in one crib after months of having slept in separate cribs, and the babies don’t respond well to the addition of their sibling in their sleeping space. Ours slept in the same crib for just over a year, and transitioned well to separate cribs after that.

Another suggestion that I’ve heard from moms is to “powerfeed” right before bedtime. Give your babies a really big feeding (bottle or breastfeeding) right before putting them down, and then don’t feed them overnight. According to Children’s Health Network pediatrician Barton D. Schmitt, MD, babies can be weaned from night feedings at 6 months. That being said, many moms (not this one) feel more comfortable knowing that their babies are nice and full if they are given a little rice cereal in their bedtime bottle. I personally didn’t do that, and my twins were still sleeping through the night at 6 months.

At around 6 months, many babies begin teething. No matter what you do, your twins may struggle with sleeping through the night because they are going through the discomfort of getting their first teeth. You can try Orajel or infant Tylenol to ease the babies’ pain. Moms also rave about the effectiveness of a Baltic Amber teething necklace. I’m going to give this a try during the next round of teething, I’ll let you know how it goes.

To sum up, here’s my advice for when your twins babies are not sleeping :

Sleep training? Meh. Swaddling? Definitely. Also, stick to one sleep arrangement, powerfeed, and teething is a bummer. Did I miss any good tips? Please share in the comments!