Adjusting to Life with Daddy Working Out of State. Well, that pretty much sums up what’s been going on over here, how about you?
Towards the end of March my husband heard about a job in Missouri. It sounded really cool, but it’s in Missouri so we discussed the pros and cons. Most of the “pro’s” are related to money and you all know I’m pretty good at penny pinching. Leaving everything I love in order to have more money is not a motivation, in my opinion. When it came down to it, there were no pro’s for me. The biggest con was that my oldest, Logan, would be staying in California. There is no way I could move that far away from my Logan, and… Well, fast forward a few weeks and this happened.
John was offered the job, he took it, and they moved him out to Missouri right away. As much as I wish I could say this was a unified marital decision, the truth is that it was not. The job is a 2-year contract, so he could end up moving again in 2 years anyway. More importantly, I simply can’t envision moving 1500 miles away from my child. I still see Logan constantly but when he moved in with his dad’s after junior high it literally crushed my spirit. And he’s only 40 minutes away! So my moving to Missouri is, in my book, not an option. At least not while Logan is under 18. He’s not driving, so he still needs rides everywhere. And we have a very close relationship, even though we don’t live in the same house. We talk daily and see each other often. So when John started making plans to move to Missouri, I did everything I could to find some sort of compromise. This is what we came up with.
John will take the job in Missouri, the kids and I will stay in California, and he’ll fly home as often as he can to spend time with us. In 2 years Logan will be off to college and won’t need me as much, so at that time I can rethink moving to Missouri or wherever John’s job takes him at that time. John found an apartment that’s pretty nice, and really affordable. His first day was last week, and we already have a flight booked for him to come visit with me and the kids in California. Shortly after that, the kids and I are headed out to Missouri to spend a week with him there while everyone is still on summer vacation. Right now our visits won’t be as frequent as we’d like because it’s nearly summer and plane tickets are pretty expensive. Hopefully in the fall we can make more trips back and forth.
The adjustment period has been rough for the kids. Granted, it’s only been just over a week since their daddy moved away. Madeline especially took it hard at first but they’re all getting used to things now. My family and friends have been tremendously supportive. They’ve been checking in on me, helping out with the kids, inviting us over, and just all around making this transition so much easier for all of us.
Looking ahead, I don’t know what our future holds. My marriage is a top priority for me, but then again so is my son. It’s a tough position to be in, when the people you love the most are spread across the country. I’m sure there are many of you who can relate to such a situation as this. We’re all taking things day by day, rejoicing in the blessings that come with a job that pays well, and appreciating the sacrifices that everyone is making.
You can see what it’s like (behind the scenes) on our Instagram stories. I’m brand new at this solo parenting thing so I appreciate any advice you have for a mom of 3 little ones with a husband who’s away!