Baby John has officially earned himself the nickname “StinkerButt”. Not because of any diaper-related incident, it’s because he really is a little stinker to his Mommy.
This little guy drops everything and runs to me when I come in the door from work. He wants me, not Daddy, to hold him all.the.time. When he’s tired he wants me to cuddle him until he falls asleep (which I love to do, any chance I get!). If I dare to use the restroom alone you can bet he’ll be standing outside the door knocking, sticking his fingers under the door, and waiting for me to come out.
I know what you’re thinking: So far, this baby doesn’t sound like such a stinker. He sounds like a little guy who loves his Mommy to pieces. That would appear to be so. But folks, I’m not buying it. It’s an act, I tell you. He’s figured out that Mommy will do whatever he wants if he just uses the right tactics. But if Mommy ever wants anything (like for him to say her name…), he won’t do it. Won’t utter a “Ma”, “Mama”, “Mom”, “Mommy”, “Madre”–nothing! I’m getting zip diddly over here and, baby, the jig is up.
Don’t believe that cute face. He can talk, although the words are still hard to make out since they’re coming from a mouth with only 5 teeth. In fact, he can say at least SIX words. He can say “Daddy” with no problem (of course). From the many times he’s been thwarted at trying to dig things out of the trash he has picked up on “yucky”. He can also say “go”, “owie”, and “down”. One of his newest words is “Duster”, the name of the daycare woman’s dog. I am beside myself! How is it that the furry, 4-legged, can’t-even-talk-back-to-you family pet of the home daycare where Baby John goes 2 days a week has a place in his vocabulary, but Mommy? Not happening.
Here’s how things go down when I try to get him to say Mommy:
Me: Baby, can you say go?
John: Doh!
Me: Can you say Daddy?
John: Daddy!
Me: Can you say yucky?
John: Yutty!
Me: Can you say Mommy?
John: Mmm-hmmm!
No joke.
It’s like he’s really saying, “Mmm-hmmm, I can say your name, Mom. I’m just not gonna do it, muahahaha!”
See? He’s a stinkerbutt.
From now on I’m not going to let him play me. No, sir.
So you want me to blow raspberries on your tummy, huh? Nuh-uh, buddy. You gotta say Mommy first.
Oh, you want to feed me some of your crackers? No way, dude. Say Mommy.
Want me to talk on your toy phone? Nope, how about you say Mommy.
What’s that? Pick you up and snuggle? Well… Ok… But just this once.
One of these days, you’ve got to learn my name. Until then I guess I’ll still be putty in your hands. Cuz you’re just that cute.