Twins

Check Us Out, We’re Two!

I can’t believe that just a year ago I was going nuts trying to make the best 1-year party I could.

This year? Not so much.

I’m not sure if I have my third trimester exhaustion to blame or what, but I had no desire to make a big deal out of this year’s birthday. Sorry, girlies. Momma will do better next year.

Here’s what we did to celebrate:

Ate a family dinner at home.

Got a new outdoor toy. I’m not showing you ours because it’s on our itty bitty apartment patio surrounded by bags of recycling, a grill, a large, orange, half-deflated kiddie pool, and way too many pots of dead plants.

Via Toys R Us

Had pink and purple homemade-from-the-box birthday cake.

Got some toddler-sized brooms, a new baby doll, and pretty Mega Blocks. I feel kind of guilty giving cleaning supplies as a gift, but really they love trying to sweep with our broom and I can’t stand them knocking everything over with it and fighting over the one broom.

Rode our new trikes from Aunt and Uncle (thank you!).

We would’ve loved to have family and friends over to celebrate, but our apartment is pretty small. So it was just the 5 of us this year, and none of the adorable decorations from their first birthday. Still, I think it’s not too shabby for a second birthday, don’t you?

How to Survive with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep

The first few months with your new twin babies are a wonderful time of bonding. But it is also a lot of work and you aren’t going to get a lot of sleep. If you are looking at going back to work when your standard maternity leave is up (6 weeks post-partum for vaginal delivery, 8 weeks for C-Section), there is a good chance that you are going to be pretty sleep-deprived. It’s going to be tough, but there are some things you can do to help you survive on very little sleep.

Try a different sleeping arrangement. Newborns wiggle around a lot and make all sorts of tiny noises that may be unnecessarily keeping you up. If your babies are in the room with you, try moving them to another room. Or try co-sleeping if you feel that you are losing too much sleep by frequent trips to the nursery (although the American Academy of Pediatrics warns against bed-sharing due to the increased risk of SIDS).
Take turns with mid-night feedings. Your partner can give the babies a bottle of pumped breastmilk, formula, or a mixture of the two while you catch a few more Zzz’s. Newborns usually wake up 2-3 times a night, so if you also feed them well just before bedtime, they may last a bit longer until the next feeding. Your spouse can take that feeding, and you can do the next one.
Recruit help. Reach out to friends and family. If anyone can come over to help with the twins (and better yet, see if they can bring along a second helper), don’t try and get cleaning or laundry done! Lay down for a few minutes in a dark and quiet room and take a nap. This is not the time to be the perfect hostess. You asked people to come and help you, which they can best do by letting you sleep and maybe even taking care of some of the housekeeping while you’re napping.
Find alternatives to caffeine, especially if you are breastfeeding. Drinking caffeine after noon may affect your ability to get a good night’s sleep, so stick to drinking water and eating healthy, high-energy snacks.
Let the house get messy. Don’t try and keep up with every dirty dish, load of laundry, and messy floor, because you just can’t at this time in your life. What you can do is commit to tackling one chore a day. Choose one cleaning activity, like vacuuming, and be content that you at least cleaned something. Right now, sleep is more important than a spic-and-span house.
Don’t feel obligated to take on any extra responsibilities. You won’t make a good room mom or team parent or PTA chairperson if you can’t stay awake to do your job well. For just a few months, say no to additional tasks and obligations. Your other children/church friends/coworkers will understand.
Catch up by getting extra sleep on the weekends. On the weekend, you can nap when the babies do and hopefully get a little more sleep than you would on work days. Read this article for more info about “banking” sleep.
Prioritize. At work, do your important, complicated tasks first-while you are still alert! Save easier, less-involved tasks for after lunch, when you are more likely to be getting tired.
Take a lunchtime siesta. Your lunch break is your time, if you need to take a 20-minute catnap in the car or at your desk-do it! And don’t feel silly about it either. A short nap may just be the perfect way to revive yourself in order to take on the rest of the work day feeling refreshed.
Be cognizant of your mood swings. Extreme sleep deprivation can bring about changes in mood, and new moms should be alert for signs of “The Baby Blues” and post-partum depression. Talk to your doctor if you think you may be experiencing any of these symptoms.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. None of the above should be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. All content is for informational purposes only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in regards to any health or sleep-related questions or concerns you may have.

How Do You Tell Twins Apart?

At the school where I teach, there are the most adorable set of identical twin boys. They haven’t been in my class, so I don’t know them very well, but I see them almost every day at dismissal as they are waiting for their mom. I’ve spent a (probably unnecessarily) long time trying to study their faces in hopes of being able to figure out who is who. I’m sure their mom can tell in an instant which one of the twins is Joey and which is Jimmy, but for anyone not in their immediate family this seems like an impossible thing to know.

Which makes me really sympathize for people who can’t tell my fraternal twins apart.

It’s just amazing to me that two people can look so much alike but are really as different as night and day. People will tell you to paint their toenails different colors or put an elastic band on their wrist so you don’t get them confused, but you won’t need any of those things. Whether you decide to dress them alike or not you will always know who is who.

So how do you tell twins apart?

There is no specific rule to follow when it comes to telling twins apart. You’ll recognize them by their newborn cry, the shape of their nose, by the position they’re in as they sleep. You’ll easily notice differences in their walk or their voice or the way they smile. With your own twins, you learn pretty early on how to tell them apart. And if they aren’t yours, you’ll learn their differences soon enough.

While we were still in the hospital in the hospital the medical bands placed on the girls when they were born helped us keep them straight. But, honestly, as soon as we got home we didn’t need those bands anymore. We could tell them apart by looking at the shape of Emily’s lips or of Madeline’s face. We got their ears pierced as soon as we could, which helped our relatives to know who is who by the color of their earrings.

But our twins, like all other children, are so much more different than simply having pink or purple earrings.

Emily wants to sit with you and be held on your lap for hours on end. There is a stubborn streak to her, especially if you want her to do something that she doesn’t want to do. And she is often content just playing by herself. Madeline is the adventurous one. She thinks nothing of leaping off of the couch or into the pool, regardless if there is someone there to catch her. She keeps tabs on Emily, calling for her when she’s not nearby. And, even though I try often, she is just not a cuddler. She is happy sitting next to me, but needs to be free to run off and play at a moment’s notice. Emily likes to go down the slide, while Madeline prefers the swings. Emily won’t walk on sand, but Madeline isn’t bothered by it. Emily is shy around new people, meanwhile Madeline says hi to anyone who looks her way. I could go on and on…

People always ask me how I tell them apart, and I’m not very good with my words so I never know what to say. Usually I look down and find some clothing difference like “Her shoe has a scratch on the toe” or “She’s wearing a red clip”, because I know that they just want some way that they can use to differentiate the girls. They want to be able to relate to the twins, and appreciate that kindness. I don’t get offended when people can’t tell my girls apart since they don’t know my girls like I do. As special as my twins are to me, I don’t ever want to make someone feel awkward. So I treasure up their unique little differences in my heart and beam with pride when people ask, “How do you tell them apart?” because I can’t wait to share how each one is wonderful in her own way.

Fun Twin Stuff

One of the coolest things about having twin children is watching their two little unique personalities simultaneously emerging. Lately I’ve been delighting in the very different preferences that they are developing. Emily is a bigtime cuddle bug, while Madeline is usually content on her own. Emily is a pretty good eater, but we’ve been having a lot of difficulty getting Madeline to try new things. When the meal doesn’t appeal to her, Madeline gives her food away to Emily. Little stinker!

“Want my broccoli?”

Emily is the more nurturing of the two. She pats her baby dolls on the back and puts them down for naps. When Madeline throws herself on the floor in a tantrum, Emily starts patting her and saying, “S’ok, s’ok” (it’s ok, it’s ok). What a sweet sister!

Most of the time they get along pretty well. They like to chase each other around the house and jump on the bed together (much to Mommy’s frustration). Occasionally they will sit together for a quiet activity like coloring.

Last weekend Daddy took Emily to get her shots while Mommy stayed home with Maddie. Several times that morning Maddie would search for her twin and call out her name.

I sometimes wonder if twins behave the same as singleton siblings. Did your children care for each other and look out for one another?

We Survived Another Road Trip With Twins!

Folks, I am happy to say that we have now driven 2 looooooooong road trips with twins in the same year and have lived to tell the tale.

Back in November when the girls were just over 1 year old we traveled from our home in San Diego my father-in-law’s house which is at basically the northernmost tip of California. We loaded the minivan with snacks, toys, 2 Pack ‘n Plays, winter coats that had to be dug out of storage, and hit the road for a 13-hour road trip with twins. We spread the drive out over two days and it was pretty manageable for our little ones.

Last week we had a great trip with the twins and their big brother. From San Diego, we drove for what felt like a zillion miles up the I-15, past Las Vegas, through hours and hours of desert, and finally arrived at my family’s home just north of Salt Lake City, Utah. The drive took us across 3 states, but was shorter by 2 hours (going by Google Maps) than our Thanksgiving route to Modoc County, CA. It took us much longer than that, but we stopped often to change a diaper, let Momma pee, or give the girls a chance to stretch their legs.

Some of the highlights were:

Staying in a hotel-what a treat!

My Aunt’s beautiful garden. This is a picture of the girls sitting near her “Fairy Garden”, which resembles Pixie Hollow. If you don’t know what Pixie Hollow is you probably a) don’t have a young girl in the home or b) watch grown-up TV shows (lucky!).

Lots of boy-cousin activity. Logan spent 3 days deeply involved in various Nerf battles.

Gorgeous scenery from the road (in Utah. I’m not so much a fan of the Nevada and California desert scenes).

The girls weren’t too excited to pose for a pic after 7 hours in the car

We took a little detour and visited Zion National Park. There we went through the famous tunnel entrance and checked out the massive and beautiful rock formations.

And of course, the whole point of the trip was to see my Grandma for her 90^th birthday and to see my cousin get married. Both events were incredible, thanks to the efforts of my Aunt and cousins.

We’re Big Girls Now! Weaning the Twins from Pacifiers

It was time. My husband and I had talked about it for a while, but when we heard the pediatrician’s offhanded comment, “You should really think about taking those things away”, we figured the time was now. I had my reasons:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents consider weaning their baby from a pacifier after one year (and our girls were past that age).
I was starting to get embarrassed by the fact that all of our Instagram and Facebook photos looked like this:

In my mind, the pacifiers were preventing the world from seeing my pretty babies’ faces like a small pediatric face mask. See also Exhibit A and Exhibit B.

I scoured the internet for suggestions on how to make the process as painless as possible. I found some ideas I liked and others that didn’t work for me. Some were just plain mean-like dipping pacifiers in hot sauce! Others, like the The “cold turkey” method had seemed too harsh for me right off the bat. The girls were so hooked on their pacifiers that they would cry for them, as if not having a pacifier was causing them unbearable pain. In the end, this is how we ended up weaning our twins from pacifiers:

First, we cut back on the pacifiers so that they were only used for car trips and bed times. At 15 months old, our twins still weren’t great at entertaining themselves in the car. They also needed their pacifiers to get themselves to sleep. If it came out of their mouth during the night they would wake up whimpering for their lost binky. I could only imagine the unending crying that would ensue if we took the night time pacifier away completely. In a few days we stopped bringing pacifiers on car trips. At that point, the girls were only given pacifiers as they were laid down in their cribs. When a baby was removed from her crib, the pacifier was removed from the baby. Bing, bang, boom.

After a few weeks we went cold turkey and stopped offering pacifiers at bed times. In the evenings, the girls would fall asleep rather quickly. Nap time turned out to be a bit more difficult. The girls hadn’t developed any other soothing skills than the pacifier. With kids playing outside their window and other midday distractions, they flat-out couldn’t get to sleep without a pacifier. We went 3 days without naps. Meanwhile, in a panic that my toddlers would never nap again, I tried to come up with a scheme to help them soothe.

To help them learn to calm down at nap and bed time, we encouraged a relationship with a different comfort object. Madeline had already gotten attached to a raggedy, hand-me-down bear, which became her nighttime buddy. Emily, who is more social-emotional, easily became attached to a soft stuffed puppy. I spent many evenings after work snuggling a baby and her stuffed animal to help them associate the animal with comfort. I’m no expert, but it worked!

Now, when Mommy or Daddy reach for a baby and her accompanying comfort item at mid-afternoon and evening, she knows it is time for bed. This new routine has helped the girls to transfer their attachment and to sleep well without the help of pacifiers. And the best thing is that, unlike the pacifiers, the girls don’t insist on taking their stuffed animal everywhere they go.

While everyone’s method of weaning from pacifiers is different, this worked well for our family. Thankfully, we all survived the process. I now have girls who show their whole goofy grins in photos and sleep well without a pacifier!

When did your baby stop using a pacifier?

Surviving the First Weeks of Twin Babies

Congratulations! Your twins are here! … Now what do you do with them? Coming from a Mama who has been there, here are some solutions for surviving the first weeks of twins babies.

The arrival of twins can be a real reality check for parents. Even parents who have older children take some time adjusting to their new twin babies.
Along with all the wonderful things about having twins comes just a smidgen of hardship.

Your biggest challenge will be the tandem crying.

Once you are on your own with your twins, it can be really hard to deal with two babies crying at once. You may even find it stressful not being able to care for them immediately when they cry. One mommy can’t hold two crying babies and soothe them as effectively as she can one baby. And no matter how you try to plan feeding times, inevitably they will get hungry at the same time. Until you are confident with feeding your twins at the same time, one will cry while the other is fed.

Some solutions for surviving the first weeks of twin babies:

Solution 1: The Art of Distraction

Parents of twins swear by baby swings and vibrating bouncy chairs. By setting the babies in a swing or bouncer, you can soothe both at once, or soothe one while you nurse/tend to the other. Another option is to play a Baby Einstein musical video. They may not be able to see the video at this young age, but the rhythmic sounds may calm them down.

Solution 2: Hit the Road

Car rides for most babies are very soothing. While every baby is different, many find the mellow hum of the motor to be comforting. Taking a short car ride may be just the trick a mom or dad needs to reclaim some of their sanity. If car rides don’t soothe your baby, you’re not alone. We had a screamer that earned herself the nickname “Screamy McHates-the-Car”.

Solution 3: Double Carriers

Check this bad boy out. Someone invented a way to hold two babies! This may be more of a “daddy” solution and not a “post-C-section mommy” solution. Strap those little ones on and go for a relaxing walk. Some fresh air would benefit both mommy and babies.

Solution 4: Get a Helper

My one and only word of advice for parents expecting twins is to get some help. We didn’t have family who could stay with us, but a friend would come over for a couple hours once a week. Just that extra set of hands was a tremendous help. If you are like us and are without family in the area to help you, check this post for some ideas on how to get help.

Solution 5: Look Inwards

If you are overwhelmed, stressed, or dealing with anxiety or depression, your babies may have trouble calming down. If you are having trouble reacting to your babies in a soothing way, look into getting some help for yourself. You may also try giving yourself a “time out”: Count to ten, take deep breaths, go outside or walk around the house.

For most parents, the first 4 or 5 months of having twins are the hardest. It seems terrible at times. You will want nothing more than to console and comfort your babies but you can’t at all times. Somehow we get th

rough those rough patches. Thankfully they were few and far between.

Surviving the first weeks of twin babies is the toughest thing you will have to do. Hang in there, it won’t be this way forever. After that, parenting twins will get a little easier every month.

Crayons Are For Paper!

We were so excited when the twins showed an interest in coloring. We started by giving them the backs of old papers to color on. Then we found a bunch of $1 coloring books at Wal Mart. Score! At that point, their love of coloring really grew.

They soon found out that the crayons work on other stuff, not just paper.

I was hoping to paint the walls in our apartment this summer. We’ve been living here for almost 6 years and the walls are beyond clean-able. Plus, that’s not how I want to spend my vacation. But in light of the new coloring craze, it might be best if we wait to paint the walls until the girls stop coloring on them!

It’s not just the walls that are getting a new look. They’ve drawn on the front of the oven, the dishwasher, cupboards, the table, the bathtub… Emily loves to read books, but she’s also been quietly defacing the pages of her board books with crayon when I think she is looking at the pictures! AND they discovered our drawer of office products. They’re now tall enough to reach the top drawers and counters in the kitchen. They don’t care much for any of the drawers except the one with all the pens and pencils. Which they used to mark up every available wall in the house at about 1 ½ feet high. They even got to the walls on the stairs!

We recently moved the pens and pencils to a new, out-of-reach spot. We now have only washable crayons. I’ve already had to do some purple-crayon-removal from the front of the oven, dishwasher, and cupboards. We keep a close eye on the girls when they have a crayon in their chubby little hand. As soon as one of them picks up a crayon, we remind her, “Paper! Get some paper!”, and she will toddle over to the shelf for a coloring book.

I mentioned in my post about twins talking how Emily really loves coloring. One sure-fire way to calm her when she is upset is to bring our some crayons and paper. Madeline will color, but only if you or Emily color with her. Thankfully, they have finally learned that crayons are for paper-and pens are a no-no!

I’m still debating on painting our place. It’s just over 1,000 sq. feet, so it wouldn’t take much time or money to paint it. Of course, we could just move… Either way, I think we have a couple of artists on our hands.

Twins Talk to Each Other!

… And sometimes it ain’t in English. These two will chat away with one another in some secret baby babble that only they understand.

One morning they sat in front of the toy shelf, pointing at something and chatting away. Then one of them reached up and took a stuffed bunny off the shelf. They both laughed and took turns giving it kisses. Like that was the plan all along. Sometimes they are just so cute, I almost can’t stand it.

Madeline

Emily

Maddie and Emmy are just over 1 ½. Their doctor says they should be talking more than they do, but that their delayed speech is ok because they’re twins. I’m not sure how that makes sense, but if he’s not worried then neither am I. They say ball, bubble, Dada, hi, bye-bye, ni-nite, shoes, go, and of course the ever popular “NO”. They each have a few words of their own, too.

Maddie says mommy, Emmy, book and more.

Emmy says sock, car, Mama, and for some reason poo-poo. I really get a kick out of poo poo (because I have the maturity level of a 13-year-old boy :razz: ).

Maddie understands that “Emmy” is the name of her sister, and she’s recognized that Emily’s stuff looks different than hers. She often chases after Emily to offer her the yellow sippy cup, stuffed puppy, or purple ball that belong to Emily. When we put Emily to bed before her, Madeline thwarts our plans by standing on the stairs and happily hollering for her sister.

Emily is turning out to be the more introverted of the two. She loves to cuddle with Mommy and sit quietly, reading a story or coloring.

They understand so much of what we say. We can tell them, “Go get your shoes” and they will come back with 2 shoes (although getting them to bring back two matching shoes takes some work). We say, “jump!” and they do little hops with their short baby legs. We ask, “Where’s your nose? Feet? Tummy?” and they will point to the appropriate parts. I’m not sure what is more fun-watching the twins talk to one another or talking with them and seeing how they react.

As an educator, watching them pick up on language is fascinating. It’s been almost 10 years since my big kid was at this stage, so everything is new again to me as a parent. Do you have any stories of your kids’ (or grandkids’) first words?

Bringing Home Newborn Twins

I couldn’t begin to describe the total elation that I felt the moment my newborn twins arrived. The emotions that had built up all those months, as I waited impatiently to see their tiny faces, all came to the surface in those glorious minutes after their birth. My husband took at least 20 pictures as the girls were weighed and measured. Then I was wheeled from the bright, chaotic operating room full of doctors and nurses to a small, dark, side room. For a few minutes it was just me, my babies, my husband, and my mom in the dark. We were full of excitement and energy even though it was 4 a.m. and we’d been up all night.

The next few days in the hospital are a blur in my mind now. My husband and I slept and ate whenever we could, which was not often because one or both of the girls were crying at all hours. I remember feeling irritated at the constant inflow of nurses and doctors. At one point I may have gotten a little short-tempered with a nurse after being woken up for the umpteenth time from my brief catnap for yet another vitals check, and then this note was posted on our door (probably as a warning to potential intruders). But our time in the busy maternity ward only lasted a few days and then we were on our way home. My husband drove more slowly and carefully than I’ve ever seen him drive, with our two precious girls snugly fitted into their new carseats.

The twins were 3 days old when we brought them home. My husband and I went through my struggles with breastfeeding twins together. He was by my side whenever possible, even in the middle of the night when he had to get up for work at 4 a.m. the next day. We couldn’t really afford for him to take off more time to help me at home, so he stayed with the twins and I one more day and then went back to work. My mom came over the first 2 days to take my 4^th grade son to school. Then, when the girls were 6 days old, I loaded them into a stroller and walked my big kid to and from school.

From day 5 I was caring for newborn twins on my own. Of course my husband did more than half of the work when he wasn’t at work. But for most of the day it was just me.

And I did it. I survived! To you mothers of newborn twins, I can assure that you will also survive (read here to find out how I survived those first few weeks, and here to read about how to deal with the lack of sleep!). In the meanwhile, take some deep breaths, laugh often, and treasure this time. Your twins are only small for a little while. They will be grown up before you know it.

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