Babies

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Everything in my early pregnancy seemed to go so well. I didn’t have any complications. The girls were born healthy and we came right home from the hospital. But once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. I bought the right nursery gear, read books on breastfeeding, but had I given any consideration to myself and how I would handle life after birth? Had I researched what to expect as a postpartum mom of twins? Nope.

Today I hope to offer some answers to expecting twin mamas. If there was any advice I needed before the babies were born, any reassurance that what I was going through was normal, this would be it. In case you also are journeying into twin motherhood, this is everything a new mom of twins needs to hear. And because this is such a crazy time for you, I’m also adding advice about what you can tell friends and family. Please do not forget to speak up about what you need. Your loved ones want to be there for you!

When I was expecting twins, I had no idea what I was getting into! Once we were home it was clear how little thought I had put into the 4th trimester of a twin pregnancy. Here's the advice I wish I was given before the twins were born.

What to Expect as a Postpartum Mom of Twins

Your hormones are going to be crazy after the babies are born. This is normal. I remember sobbing over trivial things like the weather being too warm to dress the girls in their cute outfits. Just know that the emotional roller coaster will soon be over. Tell your friends to keep an eye on you.

Watch out for the “Baby Blues”

Crazy hormones are nothing to worry about. A little crying is normal. But be mindful of symptoms that could be signs of postpartum depression. Some of them are hard to recognize in an already-exhausted new mother of twins, such as fatigue, feeling sad, and trouble sleeping. Some definite red flags are feelings of depression, changes in appetite (not eating/eating too much), feelings of harming yourself or your babies, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and difficulty bonding with your baby. Read these articles from the American Pregnancy Association and MGH Center for Women’s Health if you or a loved one may be experiencing postpartum depression. Tell your friends to make sure you take your mental health seriously.

You’re going to need help

Unfortunately, I know that not everyone in a situation where help is available. When my girls were born we didn’t have family who could come help us. My husband went back to work as soon as we got home from the hospital so I was pretty much by myself with 2 babies and their older brother from the get-go. Trust me, you can manage on your own. But if you can get help, these are some things that a mom of twins could benefit from:

A mother, mother in law, or other family coming to stay and help for a time. Set aside your differences and accept their help!
Hiring a night nanny or postpartum doula. You could even ask friends and family to pitch in to hire one instead of giving baby shower gifts.
A babysitter or mother’s helper who can come help you for an hour or two. If money is tight, see if you can barter. Post in your local neighborhood page and I’m sure some kind-hearted individuals will step up.

You will be sleep deprived for a few months

Babies need some time to settle into life on the outside world. Their days and nights are flipped in those first few weeks. You will survive, and you can even go back to work. I highly recommend getting them on some sort of a schedule. We fed the girls on demand… kind of. When one baby woke up to eat, we woke her sister up and fed her too. Eventually they started getting hungry at the same time and in turn feeling sleepy at the same time. Tell your friends to come over, hold babies, and let you take a nap!

Becoming a mom of twins is a big change, but one that brings with it so much joy and love. You can still live your normal life, it’s just going to have two babies in it. You can get out of the house and you won’t have to take everything but the kitchen sink when you do. These babies are a tremendous blessing and I know you’re going to love being a twin mom.

To read more about my experience as an expecting mom of twins, check out these related posts:

Surviving with Newborn Twins and Little Sleep

Twins in One Crib or Two?

When I First Found Out I was Having Twins

If you’re here because you’re expecting twins or you know someone who is, I’d love to connect with you. Drop a comment down below and say hi. If you need encouragement or a virtual hug, I’m here for you.

~Nikki

Who is this “Mommy” You Speak of?

Baby John has officially earned himself the nickname “StinkerButt”. Not because of any diaper-related incident, it’s because he really is a little stinker to his Mommy.

This little guy drops everything and runs to me when I come in the door from work. He wants me, not Daddy, to hold him all.the.time. When he’s tired he wants me to cuddle him until he falls asleep (which I love to do, any chance I get!). If I dare to use the restroom alone you can bet he’ll be standing outside the door knocking, sticking his fingers under the door, and waiting for me to come out.

I know what you’re thinking: So far, this baby doesn’t sound like such a stinker. He sounds like a little guy who loves his Mommy to pieces. That would appear to be so. But folks, I’m not buying it. It’s an act, I tell you. He’s figured out that Mommy will do whatever he wants if he just uses the right tactics. But if Mommy ever wants anything (like for him to say her name…), he won’t do it. Won’t utter a “Ma”, “Mama”, “Mom”, “Mommy”, “Madre”–nothing! I’m getting zip diddly over here and, baby, the jig is up.

Don’t believe that cute face. He can talk, although the words are still hard to make out since they’re coming from a mouth with only 5 teeth. In fact, he can say at least SIX words. He can say “Daddy” with no problem (of course). From the many times he’s been thwarted at trying to dig things out of the trash he has picked up on “yucky”. He can also say “go”, “owie”, and “down”. One of his newest words is “Duster”, the name of the daycare woman’s dog. I am beside myself! How is it that the furry, 4-legged, can’t-even-talk-back-to-you family pet of the home daycare where Baby John goes 2 days a week has a place in his vocabulary, but Mommy? Not happening.

Here’s how things go down when I try to get him to say Mommy:

Me: Baby, can you say go?

John: Doh!

Me: Can you say Daddy?

John: Daddy!

Me: Can you say yucky?

John: Yutty!

Me: Can you say Mommy?

John: Mmm-hmmm!

No joke.

It’s like he’s really saying, “Mmm-hmmm, I can say your name, Mom. I’m just not gonna do it, muahahaha!”

See? He’s a stinkerbutt.

From now on I’m not going to let him play me. No, sir.

So you want me to blow raspberries on your tummy, huh? Nuh-uh, buddy. You gotta say Mommy first.

Oh, you want to feed me some of your crackers? No way, dude. Say Mommy.

Want me to talk on your toy phone? Nope, how about you say Mommy.

What’s that? Pick you up and snuggle? Well… Ok… But just this once.

One of these days, you’ve got to learn my name. Until then I guess I’ll still be putty in your hands. Cuz you’re just that cute.

Weaning My Last Baby-Sad Transition or Cause to Celebrate?

It’s here. The change I’ve known would eventually happen finally did. Now that baby John is 1 year old, I’ve decided it’s time to think about weaning him.

My breastfeeding journey has been a challenging one through all 4 children. With my oldest, I worked 2 jobs and pumped on my breaks. But no matter what they tried, the daycare ladies couldn’t get him to take a bottle. I weaned him at 9 months and he basically went straight from breastfeeding to using a sippy cup of formula. The twins were a whole different story. I struggled for 5 hard months to make enough milk to feed 2 babies before I finally gave up. Nursing baby John was not exactly a stroll down easy street but I stuck with it thanks to the help of an amazing lactation consultant and a breastfeeding support group.

Every milestone with this baby seems monumental because it is my last everything. Last pregnancy, last crawler, last teething child… I get emotional just writing this post because in my heart I feel like this is my last chance to mother a baby. I’m not in any rush for him to grow up.

Being a nursing, working mom is a lot of work. And my work environment makes it extremely difficult to take breaks to pump. My school shares our facility with another organization, so the nearest ‘private’ space is a bathroom on the other side of the building. There is no wifi service in there so I can’t get any computer work done while I pump. The refrigerator I store milk in is in the office at the front of the building but the microwave I use for heating my lunch is someplace else. These little hassles make it so that I need at least 25 minutes for a pump break. I arrive at work 30 minutes early to pump before work, then I pump on my lunch, and then again after work. That’s almost 90 minutes while I’m at work when I’m not actually able to get any work done. Teachers just don’t have 90 minutes to spare. I don’t think anyone does, for that matter!

My infant is quickly moving into toddlerhood. This past week Johnny started walking everywhere he goes. Our supplemental food nutrition vouchers can’t be used for pureed baby food any more. Now that he’s 1 he gets vouchers for vegetables, eggs, milk, beans, cheese, and cereal. He’s not a picky eater and has been stealing his sister’s milk sippy cups for months. It’s been a cinch to transition him to ‘solid’/mashed table foods and milk in a cup. He loves cuddling with Mommy or riding around in the baby carrier. It just seems like it’s time to wean him. He’s ready. So why aren’t I?

I think I need to change my mindset. When we weaned the twins I was ecstatic because there were so many drawbacks to bottle feeding 2 babies. Just like I did back then, I need to start focusing on all the perks that go along with no longer being a nursing mom. Perks like:

I get my lunch break all to myself
I don’t have to get up 30 minutes early to nurse before leaving for work (we’re talking 4 a.m., folks 😛 )
I can wear strapless bras again-and all my clothing the require a strapless bra (it’s like shopping!) 🙂
I’ll save $40 a month by not renting a pump anymore… Cha-ching!
No more ouchie boobies when I’ve had a too-busy-to-pump kind of day
NO MORE PUMPING!!!! 😀
I can toss that threadbare nursing nightgown I’ve had for 3 years now
I can drink alcohol (not that I’m a big drinker but hey at least I can now! 😉
No more leakage during meetings or in the middle of sex (both happened this last year! Awwwwwkwarrrddd!)
I’ll have more time to spend with my other 3 kids. At home Johnny has to be nursed in a quiet room because if he’s distracted by a noise, a light, anything– he won’t nurse. So I’ve spent a lot of time in my room away from my family
We can be more spontaneous. Road trips, day hikes-these are an option again! Not having to stop and nurse means I can hand Johnny a cup and keep moving!

Maybe weaning my last baby isn’t such a sad transition after all. Sure, he’s growing up faster than I’m prepared for. But the same is true for all my children. Instead of moping over it, I can choose to embrace this new stage of our family life. In fact, I might even go so far as to celebrate it – with a bottle of champagne, a new bra, and a nice long day hike in the mountains! Maybe not all at the same time though. 😉

Twins Maternity Leave: My Story

At our first ultrasound, we never thought we’d hear the doctor say that we were expecting twins. Once we had some time to wrap our heads around this incredible and unexpected news, it was time to start thinking about how we were going to plan for their arrival.

Bies/ Flickr/ Creative Commons

In the beginning I was bound and determined to work right up until the day the twins came. However, my OBGYN recommended I go on maternity leave at 32 weeks. By then I was already pretty enormous, but I convinced her that I was ok to work a liiiiiittle longer. I was teaching third grade at the time, spending the day on my feet and with a commute of just under an hour either way. As my pregnancy progressed she insisted I stop working at 35 weeks, and I was so uncomfortable that I took her advice without hesitation.

Then, at 37 ½ weeks, the girls came! They were beautiful and delicate and oh so much work! I wanted to spend every minute looking at their sweet faces and holding their tiny bodies.

RELATED: This post explains how we financially prepared for twins.

I got what I wanted, and then some. That first week home from the hospital was rough, to say the least. Twins require a LOT of holding. They also cry a lot, have to be fed ‘round the clock, and between the two of them they keep you up all night. After weeks of literally sleepless nights I began to panic. How was I going to keep this up AND work a full-time job? Work started at 7:15. Factoring in the time it took to drop off the girls at daycare and my older son at school, we would all have to be out the door before 6 a.m. Adding to my anxiety was the fact that the on-campus before-school care for my oldest wasn’t even open until 6:30 and the only childcare I was able to find for the twins was 25 minutes away.

All my worries tore me apart on the inside. What was I to do about my oldest child? When was I going to spend time with my children? How was I going to be a good teacher when I wasn’t getting more than a few hours of sleep a night?

As unreasonable as it sounds, I truly felt like I was destroying all possibilities of happiness for my little family. As if any unpleasantness in the home was ultimately my fault. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was rapidly plunging into post-partum depression.

I was really hoping that I would be entitled to twice as long a paid maternity leave since I had given birth to twice the usual number of babies. Unfortunately, whether you give birth to one child or quadruplets, you are only allowed 6 weeks of paid disability leave for a vaginal delivery (even with insurance). But only 6 weeks after having twins, there is no way I was functioning at full capacity. I was a wreck, and I looked it.

I went to see my doctor, hoping that he could help me figure things out. I told him about how I was having difficulty concentrating, how I was forgetting things like the lyrics to the ABCs, and how I was losing control of my emotions. He must have recognized the symptoms of PPD, because he gave me a note for an extra week off of work and referred me to a therapist.

Because of post-partum recovery and the ensuing depression, I ended up taking a full 3 months off of work. Looking back, I really needed that time to mentally recuperate and adjust to the chaos that having twins threw my life into. In all, my maternity leave went from when I was 35 weeks pregnant to 12 weeks post-partum. When I finally went back to work, I was in a good place mentally. I could find things to laugh about, my relationship with my husband had improved, and I was enjoying my little girls more every day. Of course, it helped that a major leap of faith got me into a job that was much closer to home.

I hope this post doesn’t sound like the downer it reads in my head. Things are rough that first few months as a parent of twins, but you will survive. And even in the midst of those hard times you will find that your babies bring you so much joy.

I love hearing from other Mommies, please share your maternity story in the comments section below!

So What Are You Wearing Out This Evening?

Me? I’m going to wear a baby.

One of the hardest adjustments to having newborn twins was that I was constantly trying to hold them. I had no idea how much easier things could have been if I just carried both in a wrap. It’s crazy that it took having the fourth baby to figure out the ease and convenience of babywearing, but this is my new favorite thing EVER.

My journey to enlightenment started with a lactation consultant. She’s this awesome and knows-everything woman who is the perfect mix between the best grandma ever, a nurse, and maybe even a little of Mother Teresa. On each of the many visits I’ve had with her this month, she has mentioned how baby-wearing could benefit me. Of course, since I know everything (sarcasm intended), I paid no attention because I thought wraps were for hipsters and yuppies (no offense, wrapping mamas. Read on and you’ll see that I’ve come around).

Then I ended up at a different doctor’s office, and she also suggested that I try baby-wearing. Ok, now I was listening. They both recommended I visit a certain local boutique for advice and support with breastfeeding and, of course, babywearing.

Here’s what I learned about babywearing:

~With your baby wrapped, you can use both hands to do stuff. I can help the twins with their dinner, haul a load of clothes to the laundromat, or even (gasp!) go to the bathroom! All while holding/wearing baby John. Happy baby, productive mommy. Smiles all around.

~Wrapping a baby provides a lot of benefits for baby, including improved socialization, less fussiness, and a strong sense of attachment to their mommy.

~Babywearing benefits Mommy by creating more physical contact with baby, which decreases the chance of postpartum depression and improves breastfeeding.

~There is even an international babywearing organization, and local San Diegans can also join the Babywearing San Diego group!

~My lactation consultant said that wearing baby John will help keep my milk up by boosting oxytocin levels and will give me the warm baby snuggles that I’ll miss all day at work, if I “put him on” when I get home each evening.

I was so ignorant before. Baby wearing is not just a bandwagon trend for yogis and yuppies. Or maybe it is? I think it’s a great way for working moms to still have a bond with their little one. Either way, the benefits have me sold and I’m now a babywearing mama!

Baby #4 Gender Reveal

And baby #4 is a…

Nope, I’m not telling yet! And no fair scrolling down to the end of the post! I’ve got my eye on you…

Source

Let me start by saying that my husband and I are ok with baby #4 being either a boy or a girl. Of course, we just want a strong and healthy baby. But in my heart I really want a boy. Our big kid is mine from before we were married, and together my husband and I have the twin girls. Even though he has been a part of Logan’s life since Logan was 3, if I had my choice I would want him to also have a son of his own.

However, I’m ok with having a girl because we currently have a 5’x15’ storage unit that is nearly full with outgrown girl clothes – enough for twins, actually . We would be saving a bunch of money if we could use those hand-me-downs for the new baby. If it was a girl.

But I still want a boy.

We had our ultrasound last week and the radiologist said without a doubt that we are expecting a (drumroll please) bouncing baby BOY! Yippee!!

I’m continuing to pray for a normal, healthy baby boy and giving major thanks to God for blessing our family.

We’re Big Girls Now! Weaning the Twins from Pacifiers

It was time. My husband and I had talked about it for a while, but when we heard the pediatrician’s offhanded comment, “You should really think about taking those things away”, we figured the time was now. I had my reasons:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents consider weaning their baby from a pacifier after one year (and our girls were past that age).
I was starting to get embarrassed by the fact that all of our Instagram and Facebook photos looked like this:

In my mind, the pacifiers were preventing the world from seeing my pretty babies’ faces like a small pediatric face mask. See also Exhibit A and Exhibit B.

I scoured the internet for suggestions on how to make the process as painless as possible. I found some ideas I liked and others that didn’t work for me. Some were just plain mean-like dipping pacifiers in hot sauce! Others, like the The “cold turkey” method had seemed too harsh for me right off the bat. The girls were so hooked on their pacifiers that they would cry for them, as if not having a pacifier was causing them unbearable pain. In the end, this is how we ended up weaning our twins from pacifiers:

First, we cut back on the pacifiers so that they were only used for car trips and bed times. At 15 months old, our twins still weren’t great at entertaining themselves in the car. They also needed their pacifiers to get themselves to sleep. If it came out of their mouth during the night they would wake up whimpering for their lost binky. I could only imagine the unending crying that would ensue if we took the night time pacifier away completely. In a few days we stopped bringing pacifiers on car trips. At that point, the girls were only given pacifiers as they were laid down in their cribs. When a baby was removed from her crib, the pacifier was removed from the baby. Bing, bang, boom.

After a few weeks we went cold turkey and stopped offering pacifiers at bed times. In the evenings, the girls would fall asleep rather quickly. Nap time turned out to be a bit more difficult. The girls hadn’t developed any other soothing skills than the pacifier. With kids playing outside their window and other midday distractions, they flat-out couldn’t get to sleep without a pacifier. We went 3 days without naps. Meanwhile, in a panic that my toddlers would never nap again, I tried to come up with a scheme to help them soothe.

To help them learn to calm down at nap and bed time, we encouraged a relationship with a different comfort object. Madeline had already gotten attached to a raggedy, hand-me-down bear, which became her nighttime buddy. Emily, who is more social-emotional, easily became attached to a soft stuffed puppy. I spent many evenings after work snuggling a baby and her stuffed animal to help them associate the animal with comfort. I’m no expert, but it worked!

Now, when Mommy or Daddy reach for a baby and her accompanying comfort item at mid-afternoon and evening, she knows it is time for bed. This new routine has helped the girls to transfer their attachment and to sleep well without the help of pacifiers. And the best thing is that, unlike the pacifiers, the girls don’t insist on taking their stuffed animal everywhere they go.

While everyone’s method of weaning from pacifiers is different, this worked well for our family. Thankfully, we all survived the process. I now have girls who show their whole goofy grins in photos and sleep well without a pacifier!

When did your baby stop using a pacifier?

Crayons Are For Paper!

We were so excited when the twins showed an interest in coloring. We started by giving them the backs of old papers to color on. Then we found a bunch of $1 coloring books at Wal Mart. Score! At that point, their love of coloring really grew.

They soon found out that the crayons work on other stuff, not just paper.

I was hoping to paint the walls in our apartment this summer. We’ve been living here for almost 6 years and the walls are beyond clean-able. Plus, that’s not how I want to spend my vacation. But in light of the new coloring craze, it might be best if we wait to paint the walls until the girls stop coloring on them!

It’s not just the walls that are getting a new look. They’ve drawn on the front of the oven, the dishwasher, cupboards, the table, the bathtub… Emily loves to read books, but she’s also been quietly defacing the pages of her board books with crayon when I think she is looking at the pictures! AND they discovered our drawer of office products. They’re now tall enough to reach the top drawers and counters in the kitchen. They don’t care much for any of the drawers except the one with all the pens and pencils. Which they used to mark up every available wall in the house at about 1 ½ feet high. They even got to the walls on the stairs!

We recently moved the pens and pencils to a new, out-of-reach spot. We now have only washable crayons. I’ve already had to do some purple-crayon-removal from the front of the oven, dishwasher, and cupboards. We keep a close eye on the girls when they have a crayon in their chubby little hand. As soon as one of them picks up a crayon, we remind her, “Paper! Get some paper!”, and she will toddle over to the shelf for a coloring book.

I mentioned in my post about twins talking how Emily really loves coloring. One sure-fire way to calm her when she is upset is to bring our some crayons and paper. Madeline will color, but only if you or Emily color with her. Thankfully, they have finally learned that crayons are for paper-and pens are a no-no!

I’m still debating on painting our place. It’s just over 1,000 sq. feet, so it wouldn’t take much time or money to paint it. Of course, we could just move… Either way, I think we have a couple of artists on our hands.

Shaggy Little Ragamuffins

We have a growing bangs situation.

My other child is a boy, so this whole “doing hair” thing is new to me. I don’t do hair. I never did, actually, which is weird coming from a girl with 3 sisters, but it’s true. I never learned to French braid, I can’t make someone else’s hair do pretty things, and I can only put a ponytail in my own hair.

So now I have two adorable little girls with stringy hair that is always in their face.

But isn’t Madeline cute as a button, even when hiding behind shaggy bangs?

So far the only ‘do that seems to work is the clip.

Madeline

Emily

I tried a little ponytail for a while – you know, the kind that sticks right up in the air? A lady at Sunday School said they looked like little Christmas trees (she said it in a nice way, but still… Not the look I was going for).

What do you do with little girls’ hair? I’m seriously asking you, readers, because I am in need of hair-doing intervention!

Fun New Photo App

I am so excited about this new photo app! It’s called O’Baby, and with it you can add cutesie doodles and graphics to your family photos-right from your iPhone or Android device! Check out how I used it on a few of our twin pics this week:

Aren’t those fonts fun? There are plenty of doodles included, but you can always upgrade to a premium version if you need more.
obaby demo 2
I love how easy it is to use. Once you choose a doodle, you can pinch it to make it larger or smaller and use the color palette in the middle of the screen to change its color.
You can link your O’Baby app to your Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter accounts and share photos right from the app. twins in the tub At the moment, this app is only 99¢. I was given a free download, but I would have been willing to pay the dollar for it because it is so much fun to use.
Here’s the skinny:
Cost: Currently on promotion for 99¢, but this is a limited time promotion.
Devices: Android and Apple mobile devices. Not available for Mac computers.
Ease of Use: Very easy and fast-loading
Pros: Great fonts and graphics, easily organized, ability to share via social media, email, and message
Cons: Once you add a doodle to a pic, you’re pretty much committed to having it there. The only way to “delete” a doodle is to minimize it by pinching the screen until it is too small to see anymore
So what do you think? Is this photo app worth the 99 cents?