Working Motherhood

Working Mom Blues

As much as I love my job, I am really missing my babies.

Maybe my vacation was too long. I became too content in my home-all-day routine. Now that I’m back to being a working mom again, I miss those days.

I miss the quiet mornings the most. While on vacation, I’d begin the day by waking up before the rest of the family, reading my Bible and enjoying a cup of coffee in the quiet. Then when Emily woke up (our early riser), I’d cuddle with her on the couch until the rest of the family was awake and ready for breakfast.

Now that I’m back at work I still get up before the family (earlier than when on vacation), rush through my Bible reading and try and get my hair and makeup ready before Emily wakes up so I can be out the door by 7:15 with minimal toddler clinging and crying.

The mornings just aren’t the same.

Then at work I daydream about my kids all day. I wonder what the girls are playing with. I imagine their little munchkin voices saying “thank you!”, their new favorite thing to say.

I come home to a messy house, a sink full of dishes, laundry on the couch that someone washed days ago and still hasn’t folded, and babies that want to be held by their Mama. But when Mama comes home, it’s time to hit the kitchen and start dinner. From day job to home job.

I’m sorry for grumbling. Sometimes you just gotta vent about being a working mom, and this is my space to do that.

Although there are a few reasons I can get down on myself for having to go to work, there are many, many more reasons for why my working brings me joy.

I love, love, love being a teacher. I couldn’t see myself finding joy in any other profession.

Through my job, I can provide quality health insurance for my family.

I work at a school that really values its staff and students.

I am incredibly blessed to and live work in the same city.

I go to work every day and do what I love (I know I said that already but I really do love teaching!).

My “bosses” are six-year-olds who can’t tie their own shoes and think I’m way more amazing than I really am.

I have summers and holidays off. Believe me, I know how priceless that is. I worked years at a beachfront restaurant, where weekends, summers, and holidays were mandatory.

I may wake up and start work early, but I have the potential to leave work at 3:00. Although no teacher can realistically get her job done well in just 6.5 hours, if for some reason I need to see my kids right after school, I can.

I spend my work day surrounded by children. The most innocent and trusting of humans are in my care, and I love that.

When grumbling starts to take over my thoughts, I have to turn to what grounds me: The word of the Lord and the blessings he has showered me with.

Do you get bummed out about being away from your kids while you’re working? What do you do to keep your spirits up?

Launching into the New (School) Year

Today I officially returned to school. What? It’s barely the first of August, you say? Yes, our school district let out in MAY so we are all back at work now and kids return to class on the 11^th. Until then my calendar is packed with staff “retreats” (apparently a cute name for staff development days, I looked for the poolside lounge chairs but there were none in sight!), “Welcome Back Breakfasts”, and Common Core Math trainings. Although I’m not thrilled to be back to the early morning wake-ups and early start times, I am actually really excited to get back to school.

I can’t wait to greet my new students!

I have a few DIY classroom décor projects that I’m eager to get finished before the big first day… I just need to get started on them…

My classroom still has 5 boxes I haven’t unpacked. I don’t have a file cabinet, but the custodian is looking for one for me. My walls are bare and yet to be covered in bright-colored paper. The desks are pushed against one wall, waiting to be organized into groups with rainbow-patterned name tags at each seat. I have a stack of postcards with my students’ addresses on them that are in need of sweet “I can’t wait to meet you” notes (English and Spanish, of course) before mailing. I’ll be completing a zillion prep projects over the next 9 days (weekend included) after a full day of training or sitting in on staff meetings. Just thinking about all that needs to be done makes me hyperventilate just a little bit.

But it’s all going to be ok. I know it is. I always pull it off in the nick of time, and I can be grateful that this year I actually have plenty of time. Last year I was hired the day before school started, and had to set my room up and move in with two almost-one-year-olds crawling all over my butcher paper and making my room smell like dirty diapers.

I just need to breathe…

Wish me luck!

Working Mom After Hours

You know the saying, “Stop and smell the roses”? Well, after work this week we did almost just that. It was more like, “Stop and smell the library books”. Because sometimes a working mom just needs to have some fun with her kiddos.

With leftovers chillin’ in the fridge and lacrosse practice cancelled for the evening, I was like

Source

So, still in my frumpy teacher slacks that don’t make me look fat and “I can stand all day in these” pumps, I scooped up my big kid and my hair unkempt, peanut-butter-and-jelly-on-the-fronts-of-their-dresses, no-shoes-on babies and we went to our local library.

Isn’t it pretty?

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You may argue that it isn’t a great idea to take two 18-month-olds to the library. And you may be right, but we went anyway.

We read books

We tried out all the chairs

Madeline will apparently walk off of any edge (don’t worry, she didn’t!)

We played with the big block thingy with mirrors and letters on it.

When we discovered that the building extended far beyond the children’s section, we thought it would be fun to race up and down and around and around the aisles.

So Mommy thought it might be time to check out our books and go home.

Did you know that September is National Library Card Signup Month? Don’t wait until then-go explore your local library today!

And no this is not a PSA for the San Diego Library ;-)

Stay Focused, Momma! Getting More Done at Work and Home

I have what I jokingly refer to as “Flashy Light Syndrome”. Because of this disorder I am easily thrown off task by any and every flashy light in the distance. If I were a fish in a pond, I’d be hooked by a shimmery lure, no problem!

In reality, it’s not just flashy lights and glittery objects that get me distracted. It can be Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter… Who am I kidding, the whole internet is my playground. When I’m near a computer it is really hard to stay on task and not start bouncing around the web. Thankfully, my job as a teacher doesn’t have me at the computer very often. It’s during the weekends and during my before/after school prep time that I really have to maintain focus. Here are a few ways I have found to help keep me on track:

Write out your duties. Get laser-focused from the get-go by quickly jotting down what you need to do. I write down my tasks, no matter how small, because the act of writing it down helps me to remember what I’m supposed to get done. At work, my time is limited because my room fills with students at 8:00 so I write out my tasks in order of urgency, making sure that I can get the big stuff done before school starts.

Set a timer. Try a productivity app like RescueTime or Pomodoro’s Focus Booster. I like Pomodoro because it is a cute little timer that you set for 25 minutes while you work. When it goes off, you take a short (maybe 5-minute) brain break, then reset it for another 25 minutes. After 4 25-minute work sessions, you take a longer break. Their website has additional productivity tracking tools and a book that gives more detail about the technique, but I just like the cute timer.

Ditch the phone. Give yourself cell-phone free work time. Set the phone in another room, out of sight, or to airplane mode while you work. I have to stay away from my phone when I’m doing my weekend cleaning and making dinner at night. Otherwise I just can’t resist checking all my apps.

Find a tidy workspace. Stack papers out of your way at your desk and put away office supplies. Give yourself some elbow room.

Keep a snack and water nearby. Low blood sugar and lack of hydration can affect your ability to concentrate. With some water and crackers or apple slices at your side, you’ll have no reason to start rummaging around for something to munch on and you will be able to focus better!

Play some music (if you’re allowed to). Listening to music can improve your mood and boost your ability to think creatively. Read this article for some great arguments from researchers in support of listening to music while you work.

Beware the email monster. Resist checking emails all day long, as they come in. Set specific times for checking email, like when you complete a task or on the hour. Don’t respond in-depth to every email, either. Be brief and concise in your communication, then move on to other tasks.

Delegate! Ask yourself at the beginning of each week, “Is there any part of my upcoming assignments that someone else can do?” Don’t become overworked because it will get done better or sooner if you do it yourself. Don’t be afraid to allow another’s talents to shine and grow, meanwhile offloading a burden from yourself.

Reward yourself. Celebrate your successes, whether large or small. Upon completion of a task, give yourself a brief break to play a short game on your phone or text a friend. After a productive work day, spend some time doing something that makes you happy, like watching some of a favorite movie or taking the scenic route home.

Being able to stay focused is a continuing area of growth for me. Hopefully, with some determination and a little planning, I can make the most of my work time and enjoy more personal time and time with my family. If you have any tips that work for you, please share them in the comments below!

Working Mom in Balance: Having a Successful Morning Routine

Picture the ideal morning: You wake up, a Sleeping Beauty smile on your face as birds chirp in your sunlit window. You gracefully don your silk robe and softly kiss your sleeping offspring, who eager leap from their beds and begin dressing themselves. Humming a happy tune and flitting down the clutter-free stairs, you move into the kitchen where you swiftly bag up lunches. The children chatter like best friends as they eat their breakfast, remember to brush their teeth and put their shoes on, and finally gratefully accept their packed lunch before transitioning easily into the car. If this doesn’t sound like a typical morning at your home, it’s probably because you’re normal and sometimes chaos just happens. However, there are some things a working mom can do to help ensure that everyone has a great day, right from the morning routine.

9 tips for a successful morning routine:

Get a good night’s sleep. Everyone (even mom!) should be getting enough sleep at night. According to the National Sleep Foundation, preschoolers need as much as 13 hours of sleep, school aged children need up to 11 hours of sleep, and teens need up to 9.5 hours of sleep. A good night’s sleep is known to improve mood and health, so make sure you’re hitting the sack early enough to guarantee a successful day!
Plan ahead. Choose everyone’s clothing the night before. It takes just a minute to pull out the next day’s outfits before tucking the kiddos in to bed. You should also plan what you will have for lunch the next day. You are less likely to get fast food for lunch (which is costly and bad for your health) if you have a lunch that you can just grab and go.
Challenge your kids. To get them to move a little quicker, give them something to do and a limited time to do it in. For example, when my big boy was younger, he took forever to get dressed. He was distracted by toys, he would lose a sock… By the time he finally emerged from his room with all of his clothes on I was agitated at how long he had been dawdling-and that’s no way to begin your day. So we made it into a game. I’d maybe ask him to see if he could be dressed before his favorite song was done playing on iTunes, or we’d set the microwave timer and see if he could be ready in 90 seconds. Whatever you do, make it fun.
Eat breakfast. I don’t need to tell you that eating breakfast provides you with energy for the day and improves your mood and alertness. But did you know that skipping breakfast may also be related to obesity? So before you race out the door, leave time for a bowl of cereal and a banana.
Institute rewards (for kiddos). I love sticker and reward charts. They can be found at dollar stores and teacher supply stores. One idea is to set a goal for when you want to leave the house, say 7:00. Each day your children are on task and the family leaves the house on time, they can put a sticker on the chart. When they reach some set number of stickers they get a movie night, frozen yogurt, or some other reward of their choice.
Leave the mess. The morning will move along at a more steady clip if you aren’t trying to clean up toys and fold laundry at the same time as you are getting yourself and kiddos ready to leave the house.
Focus on what’s most important: Getting to school and work on time. In the rush of the morning is not the time to pull out your iPhone and check the latest social media posts. Resist the urge to check Facebook! It’s not going anywhere. ?
Don’t stress. Set the tone for the day by keeping your cool. No mom is perfect. There will be slight hiccups in your day, but don’t let these ruin it for you.
Kiss and hug. Make sure you part each other on a good note. Some mornings I’ve been particularly irritated with my bog boy for whatever reason. But then I think to myself, “What if this is the last time I’ll see him?” I guarantee you will feel better all day if the last thing you remember telling your child was something sweet, instead of how ticked off you were that he didn’t tell you about that big project due tomorrow. Let your kids and hubs begin their day with no doubt in their mind that you love them.

Working Mom in Balance

If you’re just joining in, this is part one of a miniseries on finding balance as a working mom. It just so happens that this is what my life is centered on right now, so I’d like to share experiences of what works/doesn’t work for me in hopes that other working moms may be dealing with the same stuff.

Being a Working Mom Isn’t my First Choice

I have to be honest, I love my job but I would much prefer not working, wouldn’t you? As a teacher mom I get up before the sun rises, take papers home with me, plan on the weekends, and spend the evenings making phone calls to my students’ parents. Do I have to do all this? Of course not. I do it because it’s where my heart is and it’s what gives me joy. But I also like being a mom. I like baking a special birthday cake for my big boy’s birthday, having a tidy house (a neverending battle), watching my girls play at the park or my big kid run down the football field. But working seems to take up so much of the day that there’s not enough time left to do much else. So, although I love love love being a teacher and prefer it to any other job on the planet, it would be super cool if it were just a one day a week job. Any chance that idea might pass through legislation? 😉

Attitude is a Choice

So here’s the choice a working mom has to make: What attitude do you want to have? Humans have the unique gift of free will, so how you respond to your environment is completely up to you. As I said before, I choose to work (ok, if I didn’t we would be well below the poverty level but again, it’s my choice). Since this is a situation that I have chosen, while I’m in it I try to maintain a positive attitude. Being optimistic makes me feel happier, it makes my coworkers likely to enjoy my company, and best of all it encourages my clients (my second and third graders) to believe in me and also in themselves. I could choose to grumble and complain about the being a working mom, but that doesn’t sound like much fun.

Check out the other posts in this series:

Getting it All Done

A Successful Morning Routine

Stay Focused

Discovering Your Purpose

Save Time and Money-Do a Leftovers Night!

Before I had three kids, I meticulously planned breakfast, lunch, dinner-even snacks for each day of the week! Well, I don’t have time for that anymore. And, really, it’s not one of my priorities anymore either. Some weeks it’s all I can do just to crank out that dinner menu and accompanying grocery list.

Once a week, I make a double batch of at least one of our dishes. Then on Thursday or Friday (the two nights I’m the most exhausted and don’t want to cook!) we do a leftovers night. If there are several family favorites on the weekly menu, even better! I always make extra of the favorites. On leftovers night , family members get a few meals to choose from and we also get the freedom to not have any meal prep to clean up!

My big kid loves spaghetti, I like this quick chili recipe, and bless his heart my husband will eat anything that’s put in from of him. But I understand that this is not the norm, and there are some husbands who will flat-out refuse to eat leftovers. In that case, here are some ideas:

On leftovers night, add new life to the leftovers. For example, use last night’s cooked chicken breast, dice it up, and add it to quesadillas or something else. It would involve some cooking, but it’s easier than a whole meal from scratch.
Only use favorites for leftovers night. That mediocre meal may have a lot of leftovers for a reason. If the leftovers are something your husband really likes, maybe he will be more prone to eat it.
Consider reheating in the oven, on the stove, or in a crock pot instead of in the microwave. My grandpa would refuse to eat anything cooked in a microwave (although that might have been a result of his not trusting modern appliances). Food tastes better when reheated on the stove.
Tell your husband to fend for himself on leftovers night. He’s a big boy, he knows how to make a sandwich.

When you have a busy family, getting a healthy meal on the table each night can be a challenge. Using a meal plan that includes a leftovers night can save time and money, especially if you make careful choices about what to serve each night. By the way, have you checked out my meal plan template? It’s a great resource for getting your meal ideas organized.

Make the Most of Your Time

If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality. -Benjamin Franklin

Have you noticed that people can’t wait around anymore? With the increase of available technology, it seems that we are no longer capable of just standing in line. We reach to our cell phones or eReaders the second we are forced to wait for anything.

Instead of spending 10 minutes checking Facebook, the next time you are stuck in line, try this: Use this wait time to make some notes or plan a project. Using a small notebook or a note-keeping app, jot down the things that are pressing on your mind. Usually, having to wait causes us anxiety because we have a million other things we could be doing instead. Free up your mind by making a list of those things, so you don’t forget to do them later.

If you carry a notebook, it should be small enough to fit in your pocket. Moleskine© makes a notebook as small as 2.5” x 4”. You can also find small top-bound spiral memo books at the dollar store.

If you have a smart phone, I suggest looking into an app that will store your lists digitally. Two of my favorites are available for both Android and iTunes marketplaces:

Evernote (free). With Evernote you can save notes, record voice memos, and save favorite websites. You can access your Evernote files from your smart phone’s app or from any computer connected to the internet.

Wunderlist (free). This app will share your lists with others, a useful feature if you and your spouse have to complete the same project. You can also set reminders with Wunderlist.

More time-management ideas here:

7 Tips to Help You Manage Your Time Each Day

Finding Time for the Working Mom

Why You Never have Enough Time in the Day

Edited with permission from Steve Wilson

How do you make the most of your time?

Top Ten Dumb Things I’ve Done When I Didn’t Get Enough Sleep

The babies were unusually rough yesterday, then didn’t sleep well last night. It didn’t help that I was already up late testing this recipe. I woke up super tired and making some dumb mistakes as I was getting ready for work. It made me realize how many dumb things I’ve done out of sleep deprivation over the past few years. Here are some of the mishaps that incurred, for your enjoyment.

10: Massaged a big glob of Olay face wash between my palms and then put it in my hair

9: Peanut buttered both sides of the sandwich I was making

8: Shaved one leg but not the other

7: Couldn’t remember if what I was rinsing out was shampoo or conditioner so,quite possibly, re-conditioned

6: Forgot to put on a bra before going to work. You can imagine how *sexy* that was. I Wore my coat all day so as not to burn the corneas of my first graders.

5. Many times I’ve gotten out of the shower, not having washed my hair. I had to get back in, of course.

4. Almostput formula in my coffee instead of milk

3. Filled my coffee mug with milk instead of coffee. Giggled, drank it down, then did it again!

2. Poured coffee into my or my son’s cereal bowl

1. Put diaper rash cream on my toothbrush

That’s all for now! I’m glad I can end my list of dumb things there. In the comments, finish the sentence “I was so tired that I_________.” I’d love to hear what you have done while living in a state of exhaustion!

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We’ve Earned This Day

Well, I certainly didn’t do anything worthy of a free day off… And maybe you haven’t either. But the collective “we” as past and present Americans are why this day is such a big deal.

100 years ago, uneducated men and women worked long hours for small paychecks. They risked on-the-job injuries which would result not in a lifetime of Social Security pension and disability insurance, but definite poverty with little hope of recovery. Mothers, fathers, and their children were working. They expected to work from daybreak to evening, from childhood to death.

50 years ago people of color were still suffering the same working conditions, with the same lifetime commitment to struggle.

And us? I don’t know about you but I recently went through a brief period of unemployment and now, happily, I have a job. There is air-conditioning where I work. In fact, someone came by last week to make sure it was working properly. Granted, I teach children and ultimately that guy was concerned with the comfort of the kids. Even so, aren’t we fortunate that our children’s comfort is such a priority? That they aren’t expected to join the workforce? And in 2013 we are fortunate that, if you or I accidentally get hurt at work, someone else is going to pay our medical bills and provide us with a small income.

I am not a political person and don’t want to take this to the level of being a political debate. My point is that we don’t suffer nearly as much as our ancestors did to make a living. The path to a college education is more possible today than it ever was before. For those who are motivated, the world is their oyster. We live in the country that many people dream of being a part of.

I feel very thankful today. For the opportunities that Americans have, for the comforts that we enjoy, and for the country that protected us all along. Let’s set aside our political ideas and be thankful for the men and women who fought for our day, for our country, and for our rights.

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