Finding Balance

Embracing Change | What’s New Behind the Scenes

Today I want to take a step back from the tutorials and recipes to get a little bit more personal with you all. There has been a lot going on here, both behind the scenes and right out in front, and I feel like this would not be an open place for everyone if I didn’t acknowledge that. I’ve always been a slave to routine, so experiencing so many new and different things is very outside my comfort zone. This week has been an excellent lesson in learning to embrace change.

Embracing Change with a New Look on Social Media and the Blog

If you’re one of my Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram fans, you may have noticed the name switch lately from Rushed Mommy to Simply Sweet Days. Both are still me, but Simply Sweet Days is more closely aligned with the message I want to send to the world. It’s a message of encouragement, of finding the fun in life, and bringing family together. I’d love for you to join me on social media channels, shared at the bottom of this post, as we begin this journey of embracing the sweet opportunities of each day.

The blog has had a bit of a facelift too, thanks to the wonderful web design company Eye Heart Creative. I hope you like it!

Embracing Change with A New Chapter at Work

Next school year I’ll be taking a big leap and going from teaching 2nd grade to teaching 6th grade. My nine years of experience so far has always been in the lower grades, from Pre-K to 3rd. This will be my first full year as a 6th grade teacher. I’ve met some of the students and I have a ton of support from my boss so I know I’m going to like it. However it will be the fifth year in a row that I’ve changed grade levels, and the seventh time in 5 years that I’ve had to move classrooms. It would be nice to have a mellow, predictable start to the new school year but apparently that’s not how things go for Nikki. 😉

So what am I doing to embrace all these new changes?

Lots of deep breaths. When you’re working with technology and social media transitions, things can and often do go wrong. I’ve had my fair share of frustrations over the last week or two. But I have to keep reminding myself that nothing has to be fixed right this very minute. Patience is a virtue.

Remaining thankful for what I have. I love blogging and being a part of the online community of women. Last week I connected with hundreds of bloggers at an LA conference called BlogHer. The drive and courage these women have is so incredibly inspiring. It makes me want to reach for the stars with them.

Find me on social media and let’s stay in touch!

simplysweetday

@SimplySweetDays

@Simply_Sweet_Days

Finding Joy When Life is Crazy Busy

As a working mom of 4, I’m becoming quite the expert on how to survive as a busy parent. But while survival is great, if that’s all I’m trying to do is just survive, then I’m selling myself short. The real challenge is to get through each day with a smile on your face and a bounce in your step. That, my friends, was the struggle I found myself in not long ago. I felt like my life was so busy that there was little left of my time or energy to spend on anyone else. It wasn’t easy at first, but I learned to be joyful in spite of a crazy busy schedule. I even managed to find a little time for myself!

4 essential habits for finding joy when life is crazy busy.

Resist the urge to compare.

I often catch myself making the mistake of looking at my life under a microscope, comparing what I’m going through to how my friends and coworkers appear to be living. Besides being a sure-fire way to wallow in discontentment, I’ve learned there is one big reason why you shouldn’t compare your life to someone else’s, and that is because you are not him. Your finances are not his finances. Your talents are not his talents. Each of us have a different skill set which qualifies us for our unique place in life. There is no guarantee that you would be any happier if you were to trade lives with another person anyway. You don’t know what struggles and hardships he may be facing, even though he appears to have it all together. When you start looking at your life in comparison to someone else’s, you’re setting yourself up for discontentment and you are ignoring the truth of how fortunate you really are.

Be laser-focused.

By this I mean stay focused on what is the most important to you. Do you love to exercise but feel like there’s never any time? Take your gym shoes with you in the car so you can get in a quick walk or circuit train while you’re out. Feel like you don’t spend enough time with your family? Make the moments … [read the rest of this post on Empowered Living]

Thanks for taking the time to visit Craig’s blog www.whowillyouempower.com and read my guest post! He is an amazing speaker and I’m honored to have him share my writing.

Turning Grouchiness into Gratitude

Last week I was all prepared to do a “day in the life” post, where I would show pictures of what a typical day looks like in the Rushed Mommy household. Unfortunately, right off the bat, I realized that my heart was not in the right place. When I should be taking this as a chance to share our day with my readers in a reality-TV sort of way, I could see my inner desires pushing me to making it into a “look how hard my life is” kind of thing. Who wants to read that sort of stuff? Not me! And I’m sure you don’t want to read about it either. So instead of sharing the whole day (you can thank me now because it was a long one!), I decided instead to share with you the times when I realized how truly blessed I am.

Turning grouchiness into gratitude: Mornings are hard but things could be a lot worse

Even though it put me behind a little bit, I left for work fully prepared with everything the little guys would need for after daycare. I made their fave pasta and even snuck in some whole-wheat noodles to make it a tad bit healthier. I sorted through all of our “pouches” for three of the flavor that they love. I brought along a big jug of milk and some sippy cups so they’d have something to eat and drink later that evening at their brother’s baseball game. And, as a last-minute thought, I threw a big playground ball in my bag so they’d also have something to play with.

This all went with me to work. It included my breakfast, plus a bunch of snacks for the little guys!

I’m pretty lucky because, since I leave for work before daycare opens, I don’t have to get all the kids ready and out the door in the morning. Daddy gets to do all that.

PLUS I went through Starbucks and got a special treat just for me. 😉

Work is crazy but I am appreciated

The Mother’s Day craft my class made for their moms

From then on it was easy to keep the positivity going.

At lunch the PTO had planned a decadent catered meal for the entire staff (secretaries and supervision aides included) in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week. They laid out a beautiful table and gave us each a canvas bag with “It takes a big heart to teach little minds” printed on the back, plus several other goodies. By the end of lunch we all felt refreshed, happy, and best of all FULL!

After work it took TWO trips to get all my teacher appreciation gifts and flowers into the car. No joke! I drove back to our hometown, grabbed the little guys from daycare and the oldest from home, and we all piled in the car to go to Logan’s out-of-town baseball game. And, let me tell you, he rocked it. He got a hit every at-bat and, even though his team lost, they are all a bunch of great kids and their spirits were high the whole game. It was a lot of fun to watch them play.

Baby John Cheering on his big brother

Evening activities give me more time to enjoy with my kids

The little guys loved the pouches and pasta. I had a deeeelicious Yerba Mate tea in the car, which gave me the energy I needed to keep up with everyone. The girls found a friend in a sweet, sweet girl who is about 7 or 8 years old. The three of them played the whole time and I got to spend most of the game cuddling and playing with Baby John. On the way home I got Logan a hamburger, which he was stoked about because we never eat out. I enjoyed leftovers on the couch with a glass of wine once everyone was in bed.

With that, Thursday came to a close.

I’m really glad I didn’t do a “day in the life” post after all. I don’t think that kind of sharing is good for me because I already struggle with putting a positive spin on things. I want to encourage you, the next time you feel that your thoughts are going down a negative path, to find 3 things to be thankful for. It’s amazing the change you will feel when your start turning grouchiness into gratitude.

My Descent into Sub-Par Parenting

After my first child, I was the perfect mom. I loved him so much! That love was expressed through my desire to do everything in my power to make sure he was taken care of in all the right ways. I also felt like, because I was a young single mother, I had something to prove. I went the extra mile for my son as much as possible.

A few years later I had twins, and then our fourth and final baby came not long after that. My, oh my, things sure do change once child number 4 enters the picture! Obviously I still love my kids and take care of them, but my slow descent into sub-par parenting is unmistakeable if you look back on the last 13 years.

Nutrition:

After Child 1: Homemade baby food, carefully strained of irregular-sized pieces. Meticulously planned meals with attention paid to calories and full inclusion of the 5 food groups.

After Child 2 & 3: Fruits and vegetables at most meals.

After Child 4 I introduce “bathtub dining”. After a long day of work, errands, and driving children to and from events there has been more than one occasion when we’ve gotten home late and my dirty little children finished their last few bites of dinner in the tub. We pretended we were mermaids though, and they thought it was awesome. 🙂

Extracurricular:

After Child 1: Mommy and me playgroups until old enough to play sports. Mom sits and watches every single weekend game and after-work practice. Mom volunteers at AWANAS and VBS.

After Child 2 & 3: Weekly trips to the library for story time and sing-alongs. We learn our Sunday School verse in the car on the way to church.

After Child 4- free time? What’s that? 😉

Bedtime:

After Child 1: After a relaxing bath and some soothing lavender lotion, we read stories for at least 20 minutes. Then Mommy sings songs while child drifts off to sleep.

After Child 2 & 3: Snuggle up on the couch and read a story after bath time, then off to bed where we sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”.

After Child 4 Mommy runs out of steam at around 7 pm. Baths sometimes go like this: Screen Shot 2016-03-29 at 5.06.00 PM

Followed by rousing games of “catch the naked baby” and “who peed on the floor?”

Academic Enrichment:

After Child 1: Home-made pocket charts to help learn sorting and early phonics skills. Educational CD-ROM computer games. Flash cards to practice skills in the car.

After Child 2 & 3: We sometimes read stories. Mommy doesn’t correct their speech errors because she thinks their toddler talk is cute .

After Child 4: Story time always ends up with someone crawling across the book or turning all the pages too fast.

Outfit of the day: rain boots, jammies, and an Easter dress #ootd #twins #sisters
A photo posted by Nikki Stevens (@nstevens223) on Mar 25, 2016 at 12:32pm PDT

Wardrobe:

After Child 1: All the latest styles from expensive boutiques. Brand-new clothing and toys with each developmental milestone.

After Child 2 & 3: Hand-me-downs for the win!

After Child 4 we still have a lot of baby girl stuff in good condition, so baby boy sometimes wears a pink bib or his sisters’ pajama pants. But only around the house, I promise!

When my oldest was born 13 years ago, I did things a lot differently because I just had him to take care of. But over the last few years I was running myself ragged trying to keep up with everything I was able to do when I only had one child. Now that I am a mom of 4, I no longer think I have to prove my love for my kids by doing all the extra things. Not that there is anything wrong with spending extra time and effort on your kids, I just don’t have the minutes in my day to do that anymore! I love them, and do as much as I can for them, and that is all that matters to me.

Create Your Own Stillness

Times are hectic these days. Whether you’re a student, working a full-time job, retired, or a stay-at-home mom, the minutes between sunrise and sunset just seem to fly past. If you try and keep up with everything that there is to do you will find yourself running around like a crazy person. That’s why, in spite of all the things on your to-do list, it’s important to take time to create your own stillness.

What does it mean to create your own stillness?

Via Pixabay

When you create your own stillness, you spend time doing whatever it is that makes you feel better. For some it may be reading, other may prefer a jog in the fresh air, still others find rest and relaxation from a weekly pedicure or massage.

Creating stillness is not “making time for yourself”

Via Pixabay

Making time for yourself is something completely different because “time for yourself” encompasses self care needs like getting exercise and working on a hobby. These are things you should do because they are important for your well-being. Stillness, on the other hand, implies time of quiet inner reflection.

Are you ready to create your own stillness?

Here’s how to make this happen in your life. First, you have to find a time in your day when you can be quiet. This may be in the morning or at night, or on your lunch break or while the children are napping. Second, set aside anything that will distract you. Put your phone on silent or in the other room and don’t turn on the TV or computer. Third, set your mind on the present. There are plenty of other things you could be doing at this moment, but for your own peace and well-being you have to choose to focus on your current activity. Fourth, be still and enjoy your time with yourself. If you are doing something physical like exercising, concentrate on your muscles as you move. If you are reading, make a mental picture of the text. Enjoy this time because the rest of the day is probably going to be very rushed!

What Makes You Feel at Peace?

Via Pixabay

What works for me may not work for others. I am a morning person so I get up before the family to spend some time in the peace and quiet. I’ve noticed that this helps me to start my day off on the right foot. That quiet morning time gives me an opportunity to think about the important things that have to happen that day so that I stay focused and don’t get sidetracked by the unimportant. In the span of about 25 minutes I read my Bible, pray, and think about how I want to conduct myself that day. I often write little reminders on a sticky note or even my hand to keep my mind on the right track. But even before I was a Christian, I still got up early and worked out in my living room or listened to music. Those quiet moments by myself have always helped me to feel centered before I start my day.

Peace and tranquility aren’t going to just come to you. You have to make time for them in your busy schedule. It takes some purposeful planning, but once you’ve been at it for a while you will find that creating time for stillness will become a habit. It will be something you look forward to because it recharges you and brings you inner refreshment.

Do you make time to be still? What do you like to do in your quiet time?

Housekeeping Hack: Easy Way to Clean Garland

Who has time for cleaning? Not this girl! I’d much rather use a housekeeping hack and spend less time cleaning and more time with my family.

During the cleaning frenzy that took place in preparation for the baby’s birthday, I noticed that a garland that decorates one of our shelves in the living room had gotten really dusty. Granted, it wouldn’t have been too expensive to replace. But again, who has time for that? The garland has adorned the same shelf for about four years and I’ve never dusted it (hey now, don’t judge me~I’ve been busy having babies and working! ;). And with our crazy schedules, I don’t really have time right now to figure out an alternative decor arrangement there.

About two hours before the birthday party, I looked up and saw a thick layer of dust on what was supposed to be the bright green leaves of the garland. Pressed for time, I was not about to meticulously Windex every leaf of the vine. Nor did I want to mess with a big tub of water for handwashing it. So here’s the housekeeping hack I came up with for cleaning a garland.

Three simple steps to the garland cleaning housekeeping hack:

Put the garland in the top rack of the dishwasher.
Set the dishwasher to the rinse cycle.
Take the garland out of the dishwasher when the dry cycle starts and let it air dry.

How simple is that? It was way faster than cleaning each and every leaf by hand or stooping over a tub of water to wash it.

I hope this housekeeping hack helped you, and if you have any of your own that you’d like to share I would love to hear them!

Twins Maternity Leave: My Story

At our first ultrasound, we never thought we’d hear the doctor say that we were expecting twins. Once we had some time to wrap our heads around this incredible and unexpected news, it was time to start thinking about how we were going to plan for their arrival.

Bies/ Flickr/ Creative Commons

In the beginning I was bound and determined to work right up until the day the twins came. However, my OBGYN recommended I go on maternity leave at 32 weeks. By then I was already pretty enormous, but I convinced her that I was ok to work a liiiiiittle longer. I was teaching third grade at the time, spending the day on my feet and with a commute of just under an hour either way. As my pregnancy progressed she insisted I stop working at 35 weeks, and I was so uncomfortable that I took her advice without hesitation.

Then, at 37 ½ weeks, the girls came! They were beautiful and delicate and oh so much work! I wanted to spend every minute looking at their sweet faces and holding their tiny bodies.

RELATED: This post explains how we financially prepared for twins.

I got what I wanted, and then some. That first week home from the hospital was rough, to say the least. Twins require a LOT of holding. They also cry a lot, have to be fed ‘round the clock, and between the two of them they keep you up all night. After weeks of literally sleepless nights I began to panic. How was I going to keep this up AND work a full-time job? Work started at 7:15. Factoring in the time it took to drop off the girls at daycare and my older son at school, we would all have to be out the door before 6 a.m. Adding to my anxiety was the fact that the on-campus before-school care for my oldest wasn’t even open until 6:30 and the only childcare I was able to find for the twins was 25 minutes away.

All my worries tore me apart on the inside. What was I to do about my oldest child? When was I going to spend time with my children? How was I going to be a good teacher when I wasn’t getting more than a few hours of sleep a night?

As unreasonable as it sounds, I truly felt like I was destroying all possibilities of happiness for my little family. As if any unpleasantness in the home was ultimately my fault. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was rapidly plunging into post-partum depression.

I was really hoping that I would be entitled to twice as long a paid maternity leave since I had given birth to twice the usual number of babies. Unfortunately, whether you give birth to one child or quadruplets, you are only allowed 6 weeks of paid disability leave for a vaginal delivery (even with insurance). But only 6 weeks after having twins, there is no way I was functioning at full capacity. I was a wreck, and I looked it.

I went to see my doctor, hoping that he could help me figure things out. I told him about how I was having difficulty concentrating, how I was forgetting things like the lyrics to the ABCs, and how I was losing control of my emotions. He must have recognized the symptoms of PPD, because he gave me a note for an extra week off of work and referred me to a therapist.

Because of post-partum recovery and the ensuing depression, I ended up taking a full 3 months off of work. Looking back, I really needed that time to mentally recuperate and adjust to the chaos that having twins threw my life into. In all, my maternity leave went from when I was 35 weeks pregnant to 12 weeks post-partum. When I finally went back to work, I was in a good place mentally. I could find things to laugh about, my relationship with my husband had improved, and I was enjoying my little girls more every day. Of course, it helped that a major leap of faith got me into a job that was much closer to home.

I hope this post doesn’t sound like the downer it reads in my head. Things are rough that first few months as a parent of twins, but you will survive. And even in the midst of those hard times you will find that your babies bring you so much joy.

I love hearing from other Mommies, please share your maternity story in the comments section below!

There Was A Mommy

Once upon a time, there was a mommy. She loved being a mommy, but she was also a teacher and she loved that too.

Some times during her life she was just a mommy. She stayed at home with her children, showing them how much she cared for them with hugs and kisses and by making nutritious lunches and squatting down to talk with them at their eye level. When they woke up in the morning she would bundle up in blankets with them on the couch and drink her coffee, stroking their soft hair as they sat contentedly reading stories. She sang lullabies at nap time to send them off to sleep. Her children loved having their mommy with them, On sunny days they would all go to the park, and on cold days they would stay in and color and watch movies. Those days were filled with little giggles and learning new things together.

There were other times when, very early in the morning, the mommy would quietly slip out of the house and go to work. When she was working, she was so busy that she often didn’t have time to eat lunch. She was hurried along all day by loud bells clamoring a constant reminder to “Hurry up!” The mommy bustled here and there, sending important messages and doing important things. Everything is very important at work. But when she had a moment to herself, she would think about her children and their soft hair and squeaky voices. When those moments came, she just might cry.

When work was over she would come home and hug her happy children, hang up her purse and start making dinner. The house was loud and busy. Her children would pat the couch cushion next to them and plead their mommy to “Sit! Sit!”, which sometimes she did. But other times she knew that dinner had to be made or everyone would be hungry and grouchy, so she would kiss them on the cheek and invite them into the kitchen with her.

After dinner the family would visit for a little while. They would tell stories from their day and laugh at the funny things the little ones did. All too soon, it was time for baths and jammies. When the mommy tucked her young children in to bed they would sob, begging for their mommy to sing a lullaby, which sometimes she did. But other times she knew that if she was asleep in 20 minutes, she would get 6 hours of sleep that night. And she was just so tired from being a teacher and a mommy. So, with tears softly running down her cheek, she sang one short lullaby. Her darling children’s voices called out to her in the dark as she walked from the room,

“I love you, mommy”

And she cried a little bit more. She loved her children so very much and , even though she liked work, there were times when she didn’t want to do it anymore.

My maternity leave is over, I’m going back to work today, and I’m pretty sad to leave my babies all day. I keep telling myself that things could be worse. I could have a longer commute, I could have longer hours, I could have a child with special needs… The list of worse situations goes on and on. Unfortunately, thinking of those things doesn’t make me feel any better. I choose to work, but if I had the option I would much rather be just a mommy.

I know there can be a lot of animosity between working vs. stay-at-home moms, and I’m a little too sad for any of that right now. If you have something to share, please leave a kindly worded comment.

Making Your Goals A Reality

24 hours
1440 minutes
86, 400 seconds

That’s all the time you have in the span of one day.

Do you have a dream, a goal, a vision for your life that you have been keeping on the backburner? Here are a few ideas to help you get the ball rolling and start making your goals a reality.

Put it in writing. Write out your goal in a journal. Or better yet, create a vision board: a collage of pictures, phrases, words or items that represent you and your goals. Check out this Pinterest board for great vision board ideas.Follow Nikki Stevens’s board Vision Boards on Pinterest.

Take risks. Although risk-taking can be a scary thing, if we never step outside of our comfort zone, we may miss great opportunities.
Get organized. Set a system in place for keeping track of your documents, notes, and commitments. Check out Google calendar, Evernote, and Dropbox for easy methods to organize your life across your devices.

Carve out the time. When it comes to a goal for your life, it’s worth it to sacrifice even just 20-30 minutes a day in order to make your goal a reality. Maybe it means you wake up a half hour earlier, or maybe you work on your goal during your lunch break. If something is important to you, you have to find time for it.

Don’t sweat the little stuff. Plenty of time-wasters like responding to Facebook messages and emails and responding to phone messages eat away at our available time. Stay focused on your task at hand, get it done well, and use any available time after that for playing Candy Crush or browsing Pinterest. Read this post for some secrets to staying focused and getting more done at work and home.

Get tied in to a support network. A few years back I had a friend who was struggling to save money and spend less. She knew that she didn’t have the strength to say no to a good sale so she gave her credit cards to someone she trusted, who froze them in ice to keep her from using them. You will find that you are more motivated to meet your goal if you tell others about it. Share your goal with your friends and family. Not only can they support you in your efforts, but they can help hold you accountable as well.

Good luck to you on your goal-setting journey! I wish you all the best as you make your goals a reality.

And please, if you want more accountability, share your personal goal in the comments section below.

How Does a Busy Mom Get it All Done?

Your coworkers are all stressing about upcoming deadlines in your department. You’re bogged down by emails, and there is a pile of paperwork overflowing from your inbox. As the day turns into afternoon you plod through the day’s tasks and daydream of eventually getting home to your kids.

To get out of the office (or classroom, in may case) in a timely manner, I brainstorm all the tasks that I feel need to get done. Then I sort them into the 4 quadrants of the Stephen Covey matrix, and rank them in order to importance.

According to this matrix, everything we do fits into one of four quadrants:

When you are faced with a task, it can be categorized as

Quadrant 1: Urgent and important. This includes crises and last-minute deadline changes
Quadrant 2: Important but not urgent. Things like exercising and preparing things ahead of time belong in this quadrant
Quadrant 3: Not important but urgent. Facebook distractions and phone or email interruptions fall into this quadrant.
Quadrant 4: Not important and not urgent. Time-wasters like Pinterest browsing and playing candy crush go here, and are not at all helpful when you’re trying to get your work done quickly.

As you can see from my personal task list, I don’t get it all done. But the tasks I am able to cross off are the ones that were of the most importance.

When those last few hours of the workday seem like they take forever, yet you feel like you didn’t finish all that you needed to in the day, maybe you’re not taking the right approach to completing your tasks. To be the most effective in the shortest amount of time possible, you really have to prioritize. It’s how a busy mom like me gets stuff done!

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