Motherhood

When Every Milestone is the Last

This week my baby turned three.

It’s hard not to get sentimental when you know that from here on out, every milestone is the last one. This is our last third birthday, the last set of sippy cups and small plastic spoons. I wasn’t ok with not having any more babies. Yes, I know, we have 4 and we’re definitely blessed to have them all. And I know it’s crazy because we’re popping out at the seams as it is in our crowded apartment but I always wanted just one more…

But this isn’t about me, it’s about this little stinker and how did he ever get to be three already?

He loves to ride his trike, the one that was too big for him when we bought it just a few months ago.

He’s the biggest PJ Masks fan EVER. Gekko is his favorite, and he still wears his Gekko costume even though it’s more than a month past Halloween.

He is absolutely, 100%, all-boy. Johnny is so aggressive, always ready to wrestle, and never tires of teasing his sisters. How he gets away with it, when they are so much bigger than him and outnumber him, is beyond me.

But he also is my little snuggler. None of my other kids have carried a blanket with them except this little guy. He loves to be cozy, wrapped up, and hugged tightly. Waking up before his sisters, he crawls into my bed every morning and just cuddles up next to his Mommy and Daddy.

I regret so many things about my life as a working mom, and wish every day that our kids could experience a different kind of childhood. One where their parents had time/energy to read them stories and play imaginary games with them instead of always having to work. While so much of me wants to look back and weep over what can’t be, I know in my heart that I need to look forward at what is to come, and enjoy every moment of what is here right now.

Those little wispy curls that form over his ears.

The way he covers his eyes and pretends he’s hiding every single time I go to take him out of his car seat. The game of “find Johnny” never gets old to him.

But I especially love the way he is growing so independent. Every new challenge is met with a confident, “I got this, Mommy”.

Johnny, I pray you never lose confidence in yourself.

Happy birthday my littlest spitfire, and thank you for the exhausting days of busy chaos that you’ve blessed us with.

I love you to the moon and back.

Staying Happily Married in Hard Times: What Wives Need to Know

My husband started going to college when the twins were babies, and after 5 years of studies he’s {finally} almost done with school! Having a spouse in college can be rough, so today I’d like to share some encouragement to families who are also going through hard times. If you are a woman and your family is going through a stressful or difficult time, here are some important things to remember if you want to stay happily married. Surviving college as a married couple What wives need to know. Coming from a wife os a college student, there is some advice that can help keep your relationship strong during difficult times like getting your degree while married with kids

It’s hard on everyone

There are days when it feels like you’re the only one struggling. In some cases, it feels like you’re bearing the burden on your own and you’re handling it just fine (whether or not that’s true is a whole other story). At other moments it’s like the whole world is heaped on your shoulders as a burden for you alone to carry. In either situation, this is totally false. You, your husband, and your kids are all carrying this weight together.

It will all be worth it in the long-run

I’m not proud to admit that there were numerous times that I nagged at John to quit. Especially around midterms when we’re all feeling the stress of his classes, there’s nothing I want more than to for us all give up this crazy plan and get back to a ‘normal’ life. However, the whole reason John started school (at my prodding, I might add. Yes, I am a nagging wife but at least I have good intentions!) was to give our family better opportunities. One day I know we’ll be thankful that we persevered in our marriage during this short difficult time.

Finishing strong sets a good example for your children

I want my kids to go to college, but I also want them to grow up with the confidence that they can achieve their goals just like Mommy and Daddy did. Want kids who value hard work, love, and dedication? Show then what that looks like in your own life.

The hard times are only temporary

I finished college as a single mom so I know how challenging going to school with kids can be. Back then I had a lot of help from my parents. If you find yourself being offered help, take it! Now that I’m married with 4 kids, John and I are on our own. We rely on each other and give each other a lot of grace. It definitely helps to know that this will all be over soon!

Quitting is not an option

Together, you both can do this. I don’t talk about it often but our lifestyle is pretty crappy. We’ve been in a crummy apartment for over a decade. We drive a hand-me-down car. Although I have a full-time teaching job, it’s not enough to support 6 people so we shop at thrift stores, canned food outlets, and don’t take vacations. Our kids are in State-funded preschools for low-income families and we want so badly to provide a better life for our kids. My life is exponentially better as a teacher than it was when I was working two jobs just to make ends meet. Quitting school would make our current reality into a permanent one, all because it got hard for a bit. And how much would we regret giving up on school? So we ~~will not~~ can not quit.

Have fun as a family – often!

You know all those stories about how crazy broke people are when they’re in college? In our experience they’re right on the money (pun intended 😉 )! We don’t travel, partly because of the expense but mostly because you can’t take vacation days from college. So we have fun locally. We make a big deal about going to the pumpkin patch in October. We explore hiking trails nearby and hang out with friends. Whenever possible, we hang out as a family because our family is the whole reason for the crazy busy life we’re in while my husband is in college.

Be kind to one another

Remember to continue to being happily married is being compassionate and loving to one another, even when it doesn’t feel like the other person knows what you’re going through. It’s got to be a team effort or it’s not going to work out well for you all. And chances are, they’re dealing with burdens that you’re not even aware of.

I am so thankful to report that we are more than halfway through John’s final semester at college. Friends, it’s been a long journey. I never thought I’d see the end that is just peeking over our horizon, but sure enough there it is! Some days I can almost feel the relief. I hope to come back to this post in a few months and be blown away at how we all pulled together to get John through school. And I also hope that you find some validation for what you’re feeling. No one would argue that this is easy. But it is so very worth it.

So Much to be Thankful For

Have you ever gotten stuck in a slump, where it seems so easy to start dwelling on the hard things? This is me lately. Actually, this is me every August when I go back to work after 6-8 weeks of being home with my kids. I know that, as a teacher, I am beyond lucky to even have that time with my family. But when it’s over, I still feel bummed at returning to the stressful working mom routine.

Emily, Madeline, and Johnny came in to “help” me set up my classroom 🙂

I decided I didn’t want that heaviness weighing on my heart anymore. So today I just sat down and started listing all the things I’m thankful for. From the mundane to the grand, I write down every nice thing I’ve got going for me.

-I actually HAVE a job

-I was born in the USA

-My family is healthy

-My husband is thoughtful and loves me and our children

-I have a safe place to live

-My husband can go to college

-Both my parents are still living

-We have our own cars (ok, one is missing a front bumper and the other is 20 years old but hey, let’s not go there, right? 😉

-I belong to a wonderful online community (that’s you!)

-I have friends who love and support me

I could go on forever!

My oldest is such a good sport when I *need* a Snapchat selfie!

This is a habit I’m going to start doing on a regular basis. I’ll call it a thankfulness journal. Instead of taking all life’s little blessings for granted, I’ll write them down. Then it’s so much easier to focus on the good instead of the yucky stuff.

The thing that makes a thankfulness journal work is not to argue with yourself. See what I did there, with the thing about the cars? When I make excuses for why that nice thing isn’t so nice after all, I’m really saying I shouldn’t be thankful for it. When really, I am filled with joy every time my car makes it the 33 miles to my work because that’s just one more day we don’t have a car payment!

Let me know in the comments if you found this helpful, or if you want to join me in writing a thankfulness journal.

Connecting with Your Older Child

It feels like there is so much that needs to get done every day: Laundry, dishes, making meals… Whether you work outside the home or not, there just don’t seem to be enough minutes in the day to do it all. I’ve heard too many stories of parents who feel completely out of touch with their teen. I wonder how much of the disconnect started long before high school, when all the day-to-day life stuff got in the way. Connecting with your older child really starts earlier than you think. Maybe even right now.

Grainy, I know. We like to take selfies 🙂

How to Start Connecting with your Older Child

The biggest hurdle to get over is knowing what it is that makes your child feel loved. Some kids are easy to figure out, while my big kid others are more withdrawn and can be tough to understand. Last year I read the book The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively and it really helped me to get to know my oldest. I was able to figure out his needs and how I can let him know that he is loved. Once your child knows 100% that he is loved, your relationship will improve by leaps and bounds.

Make Sacrifices

John Crudele is known for saying “Kids spell love T-I-M-E”. It’s a hard thing for us busy moms to set aside what we want or even need to do, and spend time with our kids instead. I get it. I’ve been there. When you’ve got upcoming deadlines or projects and you just can’t stop what you’re doing. But spending time with your kids is an investment that you won’t regret.

Show an Interest in what Interests Them

You know what I couldn’t care less about? Minecraft. Or any video game for that matter. But I have a teenager who just loves playing video games. I could roll my eyes when he starts talking about the grand plan that he and his buddies have to kill an ender dragon and make a bunch of potions, but instead I listen carefully to what he has to say. I ask questions to show that I want to understand the game that he loves so much. Next thing you know, he’s asking me to come see the building he created. And it’s actually kind of interesting! Connecting with your older child starts with showing an interest in what they do. From there, you’ll get the chance to hang out and do other things together.

I’m not saying my relationship with my oldest is perfect. We have our ups and downs. I’m also not guaranteeing that every parent-child relationship will be perfect. Some kids will push back no matter what you try. I encourage you, my mom friends, to keep on loving your kids even when it is hard.

How do you connect with your older child? Do you feel like it is easy to encourage them to spend time with you? Let’s continue this conversation in the comments section below.

The Twins Aren’t So Identical After All

People always ask us if our twins are identical. To tell the truth, I can’t say for sure that they are. I guess people get their twins tested, so they can legitimately say that their kids are scientifically 100% the same. Well, ours aren’t the same. Madeline has a faint birthmark on the back of her hand, and she’s always been a fraction of an inch taller than Emily.

But when people want to know if they’re identical, we always say yes. It’s a much simpler answer than having to explain that they’ve never been tested, or that there are slight differences between them. I mean, my own parents can’t tell them apart so that’s got to hold some value, right?

They had their eyes dilated, and had to spend the rest of the day in these sunglasses. The twins thought they were pretty awesome!

This week we got some news that should make it easier for friends and family to tell them apart. Because very soon, Emily will start wearing glasses.

It all started when the girls had their eyes checked during a free screening at the preschool. They both didn’t pass the eye exam, but I just figured they were playing during the test and not taking the proctor seriously (they’re very giggly girls when they’re in a silly mood). We had to get a more intense eye exam done, which told us that both girls have astigmatism. Emily’s condition is more pronounced in one eye than the other, so she was prescribed glasses.

They Won’t Look Identical Anymore

It’s dumb, but I’m wrestling with this more than I should be. My two perfectly matching girls won’t match anymore. From now on Emily’s going to stand out as “the one with the glasses”. She’ll be noticeably different from her twin sister for the first time ever. They love each other so much, I just don’t want this to be something that breaks their attachment to one another.
Emily picked out a very cute pair of pink frames, kind of like these, and once they’re ready I’ll be sure to share a pic of her on my Instagram or Facebook.

I’m sure I’m just being overly emotional. I’m sure this is no big deal. Lately I’ve been crying over every stage of development, so I know this is a bigger problem for me than it needs to be. Have you ever been there? Tell me I’m not the only crazy, crying, “Stop growing up so fast” Mama out there.

Grab and Go Summer Fun Bag

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #SummerSkinReady #ChooseSkinHealth #CollectiveBias

A lot of our summer, we’re going out as a family on carefully planned trips and events. But some days, we totally change up our plans and go out for some super summer fun unexpectedly. That’s why I always keep a “grab and go summer fun” bag packed just in case we *need* to do something crazy and adventurous at the last minute. Besides, what is summer for if you’re not running off on spontaneous day trips?

Grab and Go Summer Fun Bag Must-Haves:

Sunscreen

One thing I always have with me is sunscreen. I prefer to use the waterproof stuff for beach trips. But if we’re not planning to get soaked, it can make my skin feel greasy and gooey. A friend recently recommended this Neutrogena® Sheer Zinc™ SPF 50 Lotion sunscreen and I am absolutely in love. I got mine at Target, where you can also get a 2oz. size of face lotion that is a perfect fit for your purse. When you choose sunscreen, make sure it’s got that UVA/UVB sun protection, also called broad spectrum. This Neutrogena Sheer Zinc has just that, plus it’s gentle on sensitive skin. They call it “sheer zinc” because it’s made with naturally-sourced zinc oxide. That sounds good for you skin, doesn’t it?

Snacks

I swear, my kids are bottomless pits. I’m baffled at how skinny they are when they’re constantly asking for snacks. My bag is stocked with kid-friendly snacks like crackers, granola bars, and those fruit pouch squeezie thingies.

Towels

We rarely have unplanned beach trips, but we have had plenty of outings that resulted in soaking wet kiddos.
We took a last-minute road trip last summer that had us at Lake Tahoe at one point. One stop was at grandpa’s place, in the wide open countryside of Modoc county. When you’re hanging out creekside in the middle of nowhere, it’s nice to have a towel handy.

Water

Hydration is important, especially on those hot summer days. We usually leave the house with a water bottle or two, but it’s always a good idea to have one stashed in the grab and go summer fun bag for when those run out. And speaking of water, did you know that Neutrogena Sheer Zinc is also sweat and water resistant for 80 minutes? That’s almost how much time I have in between the demands for more snacks coming from my 3 littles!

Book or Magazine

Wishful thinking, I know, But there’s always the off chance that the kids will be grossly entertained by something that doesn’t require mom’s help every second. Last summer I was into home and garden type magazines. This year I’m reading a book on how to start using my “big girl panties” and stop being such a weenie. True story. 😉

Diapers

This one may not apply to all moms, but we are still in the diaper phase, although hopefully not for much longer! I tuck a few extra diapers in my summer fun bag in case for whatever reason our adventures outlast the diapers I’ve already got in the car, my purse, in the stroller basket… 😉

Tips for Prepping your Grab and Go Summer Fun Bag

The great thing about having a ready-to-go bag for spontaneous day trips is that doing a little advanced planning actually saves you time and money. You’ll have more time to spend having fun family adventures when you have all your stuff packed and ready to go. Plus, vending machines and tourist spots can charge ridiculous prices for snacks and drinks. There is a special deal that works either in store and online, where you get a $5 Target GiftCard when you buy $15 of sun care – so I did! 😉

This meant the kids’ snacks I got were practically free. This only worked because I got a special deal for buying the Neutrogena Sheer Zinc™, which is fine with me because I was going to buy it anyway! I actually wear it on top of my makeup and I seriously can’t tell it’s even there.

I use sunscreen all year long because it’s always sunny in Southern California and I like the SPF 50 to combat the strong Cali sinshine. Where you’re living, would Neutrogena Sheer Zinc SPF 30 or SPF 50 be your SPF of choice?

DIY Mother’s Day Gift | Handprint Picture Frame

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #HallmarkForMom #CollectiveBias

The idea for a DIY Mother’s Day gift came to me because it’s really important to me that I give my mom a gift for Mother’s Day that comes from the heart. I can’t think of a better way to let the special mom in my life know how much we care than by giving her a personal, handmade gift. I found a gorgeous card to go with it, which I think help offset the untidy, “I-made-this-with-the-help-of-4-year-olds” look of the handprints. Check out that beautiful card I got from Hallmark’s new Signature line!

Materials for a DIY Handprint Picture Frame

A large, thick piece of photo mat paper. I got mine at Hobby Lobby but they’re available at most craft stores
Pencil
Xacto knife
Picture frame (frugal tip: I found mine at a thrift store!)
A photo of your lovely child(ren)
Craft paint. I used acrylic but tempra or another kind of paint would work too.
Paper plates
Foam paint sponge brushes
Sharpie markers (optional)

How to Make a Custom Photo Mat

For this gift, I had some large picture frames that didn’t have a mat border. My kids range from ages 14 to 2, so I needed a mat wide enough to fit my teenager’s handprint. I traced the backing board of the frame onto the back side of the photo mat paper to get the right sized mat, then cut it out with the Xacto knife.

Once I had the correct size mat, I traced a 5×7 picture to measure the window for the photo. With everything measured out, I knew how much room I had to fit hand prints in.

I wanted a thin layer of paint for the handprints without big, uneven gobs. I put a little paint onto a paper plate and used the foam brush to paint their hands. I used a separate plate for each child so the different colors of paint didn’t run together. I also used a separate brush for each color because 1) I’m too lazy to rinse them off and 2) they came in a 6-pack for less than $1.50.

4 handprints get a little crowded on the frame. Cautious Nikki would advise you to wait until each print dried before doing the next one, but I was too impatient for that. 😉 I also tested out how it would look with just the twins, and if you have 2 or 3 children their prints should fit much better!

Use a Sharpie marker to add their names and ages if you have room, and you’re done!

Embellishments to Make the Gift Stand Out

This craft was a lot of fun to make and my kids were excited to be a part of it. BUT I did kinda feel like the gift was missing something to make it truly amazing. I ran to Walmart to see what I could find to give the gift an extra special something and saw these beautiful Hallmark Signature cards. I think having a card to go with the gift makes the celebration more elegant. I mean, look at these beautiful cards! Plus, I need somewhere to write a sweet note and have my kids sign their names in their scrawly, 4-year-old handwriting.

There were 2 aisles of Hallmark cards at Walmart for everything from birthdays to graduation to love notes, and one whole row of cards was all for Mother’s Day. The ones I picked out are like the elite ‘Maserate’ of Mother’s Day cards, and you can tell because they have their own little section in a “we’re a step above you all” kind of way. Bonus: Find a store near you and use this link to get a coupon for $1 off any 2 cards! You can find lots of other great Mother’s Day inspiration on that site as well.

Walmart has so many beautiful cards for Mother’s Day. These Signature cards are premium, handcrafted cards perfect for celebrating your mom. Beautiful cards like these Hallmark Signature cards also make a lovely keepsake that your mom can treasure for years to come.

Kinda related: Have you heard of ibotta? If you enjoy a bargain, find more great digital coupon offers, like rebates, exclusive deals and discounts on products you already buy, by clicking to their website here. Don’t you just love how I’m full of frugal options today? 🙂

3 Tips for a Perfect Handprint Picture Frame

A friend once told me “measure twice, cut once”, which is always good advice. Some other things you will want to keep in mind as you plan your DIY handprint picture frame:

Infants will ball up their little fists, so for babies it’s better to do a footprint.
If you do have many children and need to layer or overlap their handprints, paint the hands of the children on the upper layers with a thinner amount of paint. Their print will show up but will be faint enough so the sibling’s print underneath theirs will still show through.
Test the handprints out on a separate piece of paper. I had the little ones watch their teenage brother make his handprint. Then when it was their turn we practiced both without paint and with paint. I didn’t want to go to all the trouble of cutting the photo mat only to have the handprints not turn out!

Mother’s Day is right around the corner. If you don’t have time to make a handprint picture frame you still have time to grab a stylish Mother’s Day card. Do you know of a mom who would appreciate a sweet and special Hallmark Signature Mother’s Day card?

Savvy Ways to Manage Pain

Disclosure: This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. All opinions are mine alone. #StopPainNow #CollectiveBias

You never think you’re going to be one of those people who has frequent back pain. For me, it’s still something that I’m just a little bit in denial about. The truth is that, 4 years ago, I started suffering from back pain. My doctor says it’s because my newborn twins were putting a toll on my core muscles and my back was doing more work than it was capable of. Since then I’ve learned to manage my on-and-off back pain.

Savvy Ways to Manage Pain

Let Go of Control of the Housework

Yes, I just said that. You have to give yourself permission to not have a perfect-looking house. We keep a clean home but I know my limits and what my body can take, so I’ve learned to not push myself. Carrying the laundry back and forth to the laundromat, and the movements required to fold it all puts a strain on my back. There are some days when I (gasp!) don’t fold it all. My kids have clean clothes to wear and that’s the best I can do at the time, so I’m ok with not having neatly organized drawers of folded shirts and pants.

Find a Supplement that Stops the Pain

Last week at Sprouts I discovered Curamin® Stop Pain Now. I picked up a bottle of the Curamin® Extra Strength in 60 count, which was just about enough to last me a month. I love it because it uses natural ingredients to get right to the source of my pain. Plus it doesn’t have the side effects that some other pain relievers do. I keep a bottle of Curamin® Extra Strength in my purse so I’ve always got some on hand because it’s gentle enough on my system that I can take it daily. Since I started using Curamin® I’ve been able to enjoy time with my little ones without that constant back pain. Grab yours at your local health food store, or through this buy now link.

Speaking of Housework… Recruit some help!

If you have kids, then they can be a big help around the house. My oldest (before he broke his ankle) has been tremendously supportive, and the chores he does aren’t even that complicated. It’s just such a relief to have one less thing on my to-do list. Lately I’ve been encouraging the 4-year-olds to help out around the house, although I sometimes cringe on the inside at their “organization” skills. When they’re cleaning up it helps me and gives them a sense of responsibility. Little ones love to be helpers!

If you don’t have kids, you’re not out of luck. Try talking to a neighbor to see if they know anyone who can help you, or maybe put a note up at your local community center. Many high school kids have to complete community service hours as a graduation requirement, so you could also contact the local high school about finding some free helpers.

Give Your Kids a Reason to Want to do Chores

In our home we make chores a positive experience. With the preschoolers, we use our imaginations to make the chores fun. We might pretend that all the toys are leaves and we are the fairies that have to make room for a fairy party. Or we may play a game with the laundry as we sort it. “Do socks go with pajamas?” “No! They go with all the other socks! Silly Mommy!”

It’s always funny for preschoolers when the “wrong” thing happens. 🙂

My oldest wants to have his own spending money, so his chore chart is more of a “menu”. I use the blank chore chart to write in jobs and prices. That way he can choose the chores he wants, and he’s also in charge of how much money he earns for doing them. You can grab your blank chart here and write your own ideas on it, and the chart with chores printed on it here.

Follow the Doctor’s Orders for Exercise and Stretching

My doctor assigned me some stretches that I’m supposed to be doing on a regular basis. When I keep up with my stretching and make sure I am exercising, I feel better and have less back pain. Of course, finding the time for exercise as a mom with 4 kids and 2 jobs is the real trick. 😉

Don’t Push Yourself Too Far

Part of learning to deal with frequent pain is also learning your limits. Before you push yourself too far, take some time to do something that reenergizes you. When I need slow down I do something for myself, like grab a snack and work on my adult coloring book. Whatever you do for fun, make sure it also helps you to relax.

I’ve had back pain ever since my maternity leave after twins. Since then I had another baby, and the pain hasn’t eased up any. My doctor says it’s from doing a lot of lifting and bending, which you really can’t avoid when you have 3 small children. So until they grow more independent, I am learning how to live with it.

I hope these ways to manage pain were of some help to you. Do you have anything you could add to the list? What are your go-to pain management tips?

When Work and Motherhood Collide

04. I cMost of the time being a working mom isn’t such a big deal. It’s just a normal pattern of life, the same as many other moms have. My family has a pretty good routine going and we’re pretty happy with our schedule. But every now and then the demands of being a full-time employee conflict with my responsibilities as a wife and mother. In those cases I have to choose between paycheck and child. Last week was one of those times when work and motherhood collide and I have no regrets that I sacrificed my reputation as an employee for my son.

This was 2 weeks before the injury, after his performance in Singin’ in the Rain

When Work and Motherhood Collide

On a lazy Tuesday evening as we were all settling in for the evening I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. The rest is kind of a blur, but I remember some snippets of the conversation.

“… An accident”

“… Paramedics advise going to the nearest hospital”

“… In a lot of pain”

It was the kind of phone call a mother dreads. While things could have been far worse, it’s terrifying to find out that your child is injured and requires immediate medical care.

After rushing to meet my son at the ER, all the missing details were filled in. He had fallen while roller skating. His right ankle was broken in several places. A splint would be put on to keep the bones in place until we could get to a pediatric orthopedist. The injury was treatable but may require extensive treatment.

The timing couldn’t have been worse

But I guess that’s the definition of an emergency, isn’t it? I had already taken the day off work to stay home with the twins, who were sick with the stomach flu. I had parent conferences scheduled for the following day, but while in the ER I was quickly making arrangements to postpone those.

We spent most of the next day at the children’s hospital hoping to have the fracture repaired by a specialist. Unfortunately, the doctors weren’t able to push the bones back together. Surgery was recommended, as soon as possible.

Our care was transferred to our insurance carrier’s hospital, where we spent another half-day doing pre-operation tests and scans. Our appointment was so early in the morning that I had hoped to still be able to hold parent conferences later on that day. After several hiccups in the process, it became clear that I wasn’t going to make the already rescheduled conferences after all.

There was nothing I could do

We were at the hospital, where the phone service is practically nonexistent. With it being such short notice, emailing the families wasn’t a reasonable option. I had to make a difficult decision.

I called my supervisor and told her there was no way I could make it to parent conferences. It wasn’t even possible to call families to let them know I wouldn’t be there. I asked if she could please tape a note to my classroom door because today I’m not even going to try and be an employee. I’m a mom first and foremost.

It didn’t sit well with me to bail on all those families. They entrust their children to my care, and my commitment to my own child had a negative impact on the children in my class.

Sometimes being dedicated to my family makes me feel like I’m being selfish. Having to choose between somebody else’s child and my own doesn’t seem like it should be that difficult, but it is. I care deeply for the students and families in my class. It breaks my heart to let them down.

Regardless of your profession, it’s never easy to have to choose between work and motherhood. It takes a conscious effort to push away the guilt you feel for not choosing the other, and to be confident that you made the right choice. I hope I’m not alone in feeling like, no matter what I do I’m going to be disappointing someone. I just don’t want that someone to be my child. 7c2e0580ad6cb2f0df3056f6bcfa88098e1cdbdc453438aaf7

6 Things I’m Doing to Live More Joyfully

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This past year sure was a bumpy one. I’m thankful to be sitting here today with so many blessings. We have good health, reliable~ish transportation, and financial stability. I know, right now you’re probably thinking I’m just a “sunshine and roses” kind of girl. Really, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. This was a very tough year for me emotionally and physically, and I admit I didn’t always handle the lows as well as I wish I had. It took many frustrating, tearful, and overwhelming experiences to teach me these 6 things I’m now doing in order to live more joyfully. I know these would help you too!

6 things I'm doing to live more joyfully

6 Ways to Live More Joyfully

Enjoy Being Where You Are

Feeling discontent robs me of my happiness. I start to get restless. I seek out new opportunities in hopes that a change will make my life better, as if my true happiness lies in a job or an event or another person. The moment I start to notice all the things I have, I realize how blessed I am. I open myself up to live more joyfully when I shove aside discontentment.

Share the Load

It’s hard to enjoy yourself when you feel overwhelmed, isn’t it? Over the last 4 years of my marriage I’ve learned to let go of my need to control and instead let my husband take the reins. When we moms try and take on too much, we’re really not giving our husbands much credit. Husbands can follow a dinner recipe, load the washing machine, and get the kids ready for school just as well as their wives can. A while back I read the book The 5 Love Languages, and it has really helped me to communicate (rather than nag) and listen to my husband. I highly recommend it!

Approach Life with an Open Mind

I had a principal once whose mantra still sticks with me today: “We can do hard things.” With his empowering attitude, he motivated the teachers and students in our school to find faith in themselves and to push themselves farther than they thought they could go. Last year, I found myself making excuses for things that seemed too hard. Making excuses only gave me permission to give up. This year I’m going to try things I didn’t think I could do and celebrate every win. I know there will be many!

Treasure the Small Moments

There are 4 young people in my home who won’t be little forever so I’m storing up pictures and memories. Every kiss, every cuddle, every call for Mommy. I’m telling them stories of when they were “little” (which was not long ago!), saying yes to every story book they want read and every song they want to sing. My children mean the world to me and I want them to know that. Plus, they are 4 more reasons to live more joyfully everyday.

Be Proud of Who You Are

This life lesson comes from playing the compare game: Putting my own strengths and accomplishments on a balance scale against those of others and finding self-worth in whether or not I come out looking better. Well, that’s a bunch of nonsense. I have a husband who loves me with or without a great bikini body. I’m one lucky girl! My coworkers are kind. My friends are loyal. The people I’m closest to stand behind me 100%.

Take Risks

It’s such an exhilarating feeling to go totally out on a limb doing something, and then watch it turn out better than you anticipated. Last year I was pleasantly surprised by a DIY post I wrote that went viral (on a small scale, but it still made my day!). That’s what I want to see more of from now on. Not everything works out though, and that’s ok. I did another project last year that was a total flop. Every new venture brings with it the chance to do something amazing, or learn from what didn’t work. The difference between joyful and unhappy people is their attitude when the results aren’t great.

I hope the new year brings you plenty of opportunities to grow and challenge yourself to be more and do more than you thought possible!

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